


Secret Project X

by GleeCastOST



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: AU, F/F, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:34:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 40,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26669023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GleeCastOST/pseuds/GleeCastOST
Summary: Ava and Beatrice are both writers, albeit from two completely different worlds. Where Ava would prefer to channel her inner Thoreau, Beatrice spends her time writing detailed reports of her scientific findings at GPL. When they meet at a conference, there is an obvious chemistry between them, but there’s always more to the story.
Relationships: Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva
Comments: 118
Kudos: 353





	1. Return to Civilisation

**Author's Note:**

> i can tell you now, this isn't going the direction you might think it is

Ava jumped at the sound of her phone ringing. It’d been weeks since she’d had service and the artificial noise was startling. She ducked under the canopy of a nearby shop, to hopefully keep her phone dry under the deluge of Seattle rain. 

“Hello?” She rasped into the device, her voice oddly stilted after not using it for a while. 

“Ava! Please, for the _love of God,_ tell me that you’re back in the city!” 

“A hello is always a good way to start a phone call, Camila.” Ava replied, a smile quickly crossing her face. 

“Since you at least answered, I’m assuming that you’re here?” Camila sounded both elated and frustrated. As frustrating as Ava was to work for, Camila was her publicist, they were also best friends. 

“I am.” Ava coughed, trying to recover the gift of speech and human interaction. “I just got back a few hours ago. I’ve only had time to shower and now I’m going for lunch since I have no food at home.” 

“Where are you going?” Camila asked suddenly.

“I don’t know yet. Why?” 

“Can I meet you?” Her motivations were two-fold. Firstly, she had a ton of work related issues to run past Ava. Secondly, they hadn’t seen each other in nearly a month and Camila was desperate to catch up. 

“Of course!” Ava sounded delighted. “How about that little place by the harbour? The cute one?” It was rare that Ava remembered any of the restaurant names, but Camila knew what she meant.

“20 minutes. I’ll see you there.” Camila hung up.

Half an hour later, Ava made it to the restaurant, sodden from the rain. “Sorry I’m late.” She whispered as she sat down. Camila only laughed, since that was probably Ava’s most used phrase. “But I have a good reason.” She reached into her oversized leather bag and pulled out a neatly tied package of fancy chocolate. 

“Thank you.” Camila gratefully placed the parcel into her own bag. 

“No, thank you. I know I’m not easy to deal with, as a friend or as a coworker.” Ava gave her a warm smile. 

“Speaking of which, we have work to discuss.” Reaching into her bag once more, Camila retrieved a thick folder. 

“Ugh…” With undue dramatics, Ava put her head in her hands. “Please can this wait until tomorrow?”

“No!” Camila withdrew a bundle of papers and a pen. “These all need your signature.”

“Okay.” She answered reluctantly, as she began to work through the papers. “I can handle that.” 

As Ava worked, Camila filled her in on some other details from the office. “Warner Bros called, they want to secure the rights to _Where I Wander_ for a movie.”

“No movies.” Ava replied without missing a beat.

“That’s what I told them, but they were adamant I ask you.” 

“You know me so well.” With a grin, Ava passed the signed documents back across the table. 

“By this point, I’d hope so.” 

Before they could continue their informal meeting, they were interrupted by the waiter. He quickly took their orders and retreated away from the table. It was obvious by the way he hid behind the counter that he had recognised Ava. 

“As I was saying…” Camila began, glaring at the frantically texting waiter. “You’re ready for your appearance tomorrow, right?” 

“My what?” Ava’s words were muffled by the massive chunk of bread in her mouth. 

“The Seattle Innovations Conference is tomorrow. Please don’t tell me you forgot.” 

“I didn’t forget…” She painfully swallowed the piece of bread, grateful to be eating fresh food instead of something from a can or bag. “I just had it stored in a different part of my brain. That I hadn’t… Umm… Accessed in a while.”

“That’s the same thing.” A deep sigh escaped Camila’s small frame. “I know you can figure something out on the fly. Just remember to show up. It starts at nine, at the conference center. Do you need me to pick you up?”

“I don’t _need_ you too, but I’d like you too.” Ava chuckled lightly. “I haven’t had much company the past few weeks, it’d be nice to talk to someone again.” 

“Alright. I’ll be there at 8:30, please be ready this time.” Camila returned Ava’s laugh. “So how was it?” 

“It was… Amazingly horrible.” As usual, Ava’s description was confusingly cryptic. 

“What does that mean?” 

“It was beautiful, of course. Even though it rained the entire time, the forest was stunning. I got a lot done, too. I filled four notebooks full of ideas… Although one of them is mostly ruined from the rain.” Her face turned slightly sad at the memory. 

“That doesn’t sound that horrible.” Camila added, wishing that Ava could find inspiration without tramping through the wilderness for weeks on end. 

“That’s because I haven’t gotten to the horrible parts yet.”

“Oh.”

“It was lonely and freezing. Everything was wet, so most days it was impossible to get a fire going. Plus, it was beyond boring.” Surprisingly, Ava smiled as she recounted this part of the trip. “I guess I can’t complain though, since that was by design.”

“Why?” Camila could always count on Ava’s unpredictability. 

“Well, it started a few months ago. I was reading an article about the people who do those super long sled dog races in Alaska. Oh, that wasn’t all of it. There was another section about living in Antarctica, where…”

Camila listened patiently to Ava’s passionate ramblings, until she finally found the point. “Anyway, each of the people interviewed mentioned boredom and coping with it. So many of us, especially these days, are constantly stimulated and almost _afraid_ of being bored. Whereas, in some of the world’s most extreme climates, embracing boredom is a necessity. What’s more, each of them mentioned how it helped their mind work better, since it was unbridled by distraction.”

“That is actually interesting.” Camila loved how Ava explained ideas and concepts. Her enthusiasm was contagious, usually forcing the interest of others. 

“I know!” 

“So you were trying to create your own boredom?” She inquired, fully knowing the answer was yes. 

“More or less. There was also an element of suffering or forcing creativity through masochism.” Ava added to her explanation. 

“Did it work?” 

“I think so. I haven’t reviewed any of my ideas yet, though.” 

“You’ll get to it.” Camila smiled once more, just as the waiter returned with their food. He stared at Ava a little bit too long, confirming Camila’s suspicions. Her last few books had done incredibly well and Ava was starting to get recognised more often. On this occasion, however, she was so distracted, she didn’t even notice the waiter. 

“Thank you.” Ava said as he set a plate in front of her, just as she launched into another explanation of her ideas.

“Anyway, so that’s what happened to me.” Ava concluded several minutes later, having recounted her close call with a bear. “What have you been up to?”

“Nothing that exciting!” Camila replied with a laugh. “I went on a few dates, got through a bunch of work, turned down several movie studios. Normal stuff.”

“Dates? With whom?” Curiosity dripped from Ava’s words. 

“No one important, it didn’t pan out. There was no spark.” 

“Hmmm…” Ava hummed for a moment. “That’s a shame. They’re missing out.” 

“Must we do this every time?” 

“Sorry, but you are smart and cute and hot and amazing in every way! Is it so wrong for me to want the best for you?” 

“Of course not…” Camila tried to repress a grin. “But you’re beginning to make a scene and I’m pretty sure a few people here have already recognised you.” 

“Wait what?” Ava replied in a whisper. “Why?” 

“What do you mean, _why?_ You’re a New York Times bestselling author, your face is in every bookstore in the country right now!” 

“Huh.” Ava looked genuinely surprised at this. One of the reasons Camila loved working with Ava is because she didn’t care about fame, it wasn’t where her motivations lie. Her first book had been published on what was essentially a fluke, yet it had caught the world’s attention. 

“Oh my _God._ ” Camila took a deep breath. “Are you ready to go?” 

“Yeah.” Ava answered simply, paying for their lunch, before heading back out into the rain. 

“Are you coming back to the office?” She asked, as they both shivered under the restaurant’s small awning. 

“Umm…” Ava paused to think. She had a spacious office in the city, but hated working there. It felt too clinical; contrived. Plus it was distracting, there were constantly phones ringing and people talking too loudly. “Do I have to?” 

“No. There’s nothing that can’t be handled via email or call today.” Camila reached out and laid a hand on Ava’s arm. “I know you don’t get anything done there. Go home, get some rest, start going over your work. Okay?” 

“Yes ma’am.” A jokey salute punctuated Ava’s words. “But seriously, thank you. If it weren’t for you, I’d probably be some crazy lady living in a tree somewhere.” 

“It’s a team effort.” A coy smile crossed Camila’s face as she spoke. 

“I mean, I disagree, but you’re entitled to your own opinion.” Ava quipped.

“That I am.” Camila reached into her bag and withdrew her car keys. “But I must bid you farewell.” They shared a warm hug, before heading in opposite directions. 

Beatrice’s footsteps echoed across the empty lab. It was late and most of her team had been dismissed for the day. With a sigh, she sat back down at her massive desk, piled with the drawings and schematics. 

“Beatrice, you’ve been at this all day. It’s time to take a break.” 

“I can’t. I have to speak tomorrow at the Innovator conference. I wanted to have this done by then.” She explained, without looking up from her work.

A hand was placed on her shoulder. “You’ve filed several groundbreaking patents already this year, why not focus on one of those? Is this worth driving yourself into the ground?” 

“I… Nothing. I just.. I don’t know. I wanted to have this done.” Beatrice repeated, hating how well Lilith could call her out.

“You’re not going to get anything done if you work yourself to death and die at thirty. Come on, let’s go get dinner.”

“Alright, alright.” 

It was a matter of minutes before they were outside the Greentech Propulsion Lab. The building was massive and imposing; a futuristic structure of metal, glass, and gardens. Every third floor of the building, plus its rooftop, was an open air garden. In addition, the architecture also included solar panels and small wind turbines. Despite the power hungry equipment housed within, GPL was the only carbon neutral building in the city. 

“Where to?” Beatrice asked Lilith as they were greeted by the freezing, salty air. 

“I know a spot.” She answered confidently, as they headed deeper into the city on foot. After long days in the lab, Beatrice and Lilith frequently got dinner together. And they _always_ walked, since most of the workday was spent sitting in the uncomfortable lab chairs. It only took a few minutes to reach a cozy, modern restaurant that was half-hidden in an alley. 

“So,” Lilith began as they settled into a booth. “How was work today?” 

“You were literally next to me almost the entire day. Thus, you know it was shitty.” Beatrice snapped back, slightly too harsh, but the frustration was still fresh. 

“I still think you’re being too hard on yourself.” She paused for a moment, as if searching for the right reply. “Your need for perfection is getting in the way of your ability to dissect the issue from different angles.”

“You’re right.” Beatrice conceded. “Sorry for being rude.”

“It’s understandable. I think we could both use a drink… Or six.” 

There had been a time that they considered each other enemies, rather than friends. Lilith and Beatrice met at MIT several years ago, working towards the same degree. An immediate bond formed between them, as they were not only both English, but also women in a male-dominated field. Despite that, their friendship was contentious at best. Competition seemed to rule those years at university, with Beatrice taking the top spot more often than not. 

Even at Greentech, Beatrice was the lead scientist, whereas Lilith was her second. At least, on paper she was. Both women had matured greatly, a necessity after being hired by the same company. Eventually, a respect grew between them, and they worked as equals. More recently, they had rekindled their friendship, albeit without the toxicity that plagued them in college. 

“One is probably better. We both have to speak tomorrow.” Beatrice smiled, greeting the waitress that made her way to the table. 

“Have you planned what you’re going to say?” Lilith asked after the waitress had departed. 

“I wanted to talk about the new project, but obviously I won’t be able to.” Beatrice leaned back in her seat, acknowledging her exhaustion for the first time that day. “I guess I could discuss advancements in hybrid propulsion and the implications of it, although it’s not as fun. You?” 

“Engineering considerations when planning for alternative fuels.” Lilith answered.

“Oh! That’s exciting!” Beatrice perked up slightly. 

“In the secondary lab we’ve developed a great resource about practical applications. There’s a few 3D renders too, which should help with the presentation. I think GPL will likely publish the data soon, so a public announcement of it would be good PR.” 

“Having those findings go public has the potential to revolutionise the transportation industry entirely.” Beatrice whispered, in awe. 

“That’s the plan!” Lilith agreed enthusiastically. 

Although she would be hesitant to admit it aloud, Beatrice was beyond grateful that she and Lilith had managed to salvage their friendship. She was doubly grateful that Lilith respected her enough to call her out and provide tough love, because none of the other scientists she worked with could be trusted to do the same. Beyond that, neither of them had many friends, given the long, stressful hours of their careers. Having a like minded friend on the same schedule, however, made the work a lot less lonely. 


	2. Their Own World(s)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava and Beatrice meet after their respective panels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvhlWbnl_qM

“...as the diagram here indicates, friction can be reduced by 60%. I’m sure that you are all aware that a severe reduction in friction decreases fuel consumption drastically. This alone would be a massive step in the right direction for most traffic. Not only would it eliminate the majority of emissions, but most vehicles would also gain an increase in fuel efficiency. Thus, saving consumers money, as well as the planet.” Beatrice paused, letting the energised crowd think about the implications of her words. 

“Of course, what if we could implement this technology  _ combined  _ with a cleaner source of fuel?” She let the question sink in. “Our recent simulations of possible scenarios are incredibly promising. On a global scale, the effects are nearly immeasurable. Previous iterations of clean propulsion technology required a compromise - either reduced power or increased price. New innovations, however, make it possible to have the best of both worlds. Of course, there are practical issues to consider, such as the variance in engine structure to accommodate alternative fuels. But, I think I’ll let my associate Lilith explain that.” 

Beatrice waved calmly at the crowd, as they erupted in cheers. With controlled steps, she retreated from the stage as Lilith took the podium behind her. Public speaking wasn’t a fear of hers necessarily, although Beatrice loathed being the center of attention. Conversely, the work they were doing at GPL was amazing, and it was great to see the wider community recognise that. 

Elsewhere in the conference center, Ava opted for a more interactive presentation, much to Camila’s dismay. At the podium, Ava stood calmly, fielding questions and comments from anyone who chose to ask. She wasn’t nervous in the slightest, sometimes Camila thought that nervousness wasn’t an emotion that Ava was even capable of. 

A slight woman currently stood at the microphone, a book in hand. “Hi. In  _ Where I Wander,  _ the key motivation of the main character’s adventure is a long term relationship with her lover. I was just wondering, is there a real life relationship you based this on?” 

Ava smiled at the woman before answering. “No, I’ve never been in love.” She answered honestly, as Camila noticed several surprised faces in the crowd. 

“How would you describe your creative process?” Another person asked, this time a kind-looking man in glasses. 

“Hmmm…” Ava drummed her fingers against the podium as she thought. Camila admired how much she genuinely wanted to provide everyone with the best answer she could. “I’ll admit, the life I lead is neither attainable, nor preferable for most people. Thanks to my assistant,” Ava gestured to Camila, causing her to blush. “I can shirk many of my real life possibilities. Beyond that, I’m constantly writing down any thread of an idea that pops into my head.”

Ava reached into the podium, where she stored her bag, withdrawing one of the many notebooks she carried around. Holding it up, she continued to answer. “I fill up one of these every week or so. And I’ll be honest with you, most of what I write in here is shit.” She paused, letting the crowd laugh at her crassness. “Most of the time, the threads you pull will be scraps. But for every hundred - Hell, every  _ thousand  _ ideas, one of those might be worth following.” 

Camila watched the rapt crowd, as Ava tried to continue her explanation. “I wrote  _ Unravelled  _ from an abandoned cabin in Montana, on an old mining claim. Why? I couldn’t tell you.” She paused to laugh, immediately charming and charismatic. “It was where my soul led me. Maybe that sounds odd, but there is an innate level of trust you need to build with yourself. I guess, to answer your question, start with learning to listen to your heart - instead of your mind.” 

“Thank you.” The man whispered, before heading back to his seat. 

“You’re welcome, although I know that wasn’t necessarily an easy to follow answer.” Camila had been initially apprehensive when Ava suggested running her entire session as a Q&A, but it seemed to be going better than she had anticipated. 

Ava fielded several more questions, more than doubling the time she was scheduled for. Eventually, she was all but chased from the stage by the event organisers. With an overenthusiastic wave, she bid the crowd farewell, as they clapped and cheered. 

“That went well!” Camila exclaimed, once they were behind closed doors. 

“Yeah, I thought so too!” Her face fell, though. “I wish I had more time though, I wanted to answer everyone’s questions.” 

“Oh, Ava.” Camila pressed a hand to her back. “You’re not always going to be able to.” 

“I know, but it seems unfair.” 

“That’s just the way it is sometimes. I’m sorry.” Gently, Camila guided her towards the VIP hall, where drinks and food were being served. “Are you ready to mingle?” 

“Ugh, do we have to?” Ava groaned dramatically, pausing at the door. 

“You’re mad that you couldn’t answer more questions, yet you don’t want to go talk to people?” 

“This will just be a bunch of egotistical presenters who want to talk about how important they are. It’s going to be somehow boring and condescending simultaneously!” Ava was being slightly dramatic. 

“We need to at least breeze though, for appearances, if nothing else.” Camila spoke as Ava’s publicist then. Had she been speaking as her friend, they’d already have left.

“Fine, for you I will. But if anyone starts talking to me about the stock market, or maturing investments, I  _ will  _ make a scene.”

“That’s fair.” Camila and Ava shook hands on the absurd deal, before walking into the massive hall. 

Well-dressed people moved about the room, whereas others clustered in small groups. They quietly headed for the bar, trying to avoid eye contact before they got there. As Camila ordered two drinks, Ava surveyed the room, looking for a familiar face. She didn’t find any. 

“Alright, here you go.” Camila pressed a drink into Ava’s hand, snapping her back to reality. “Do you want me to stay with you, or are you okay?” 

“I’m okay. I’ll mingle as requested.” Ava replied with a crooked smile. 

“Behave yourself, okay?” Camila began to turn. “I don’t want to hear any complaints this time.” 

“Yes ma’am!” Ava laughed. A few seconds later, she was alone. She wasn’t nervous here, that was far from the right word. Rather, Ava felt out of place. Doubly so since she was the only person not dressed in formalwear. With forcibly relaxed movements, Ava wandered the perimeter of the room for a moment, before finding a high table to stand at. Alone. 

In the same room now, Beatrice was making small talk with Lilith and a few other colleagues. They were discussing various prospects for fuel injection designs when Ava caught her eye. With the utmost politeness, Beatrice excused herself, and walked to the table. It wasn’t out of pity, not exactly. Beatrice knew what it was like to feel like the odd one out, and it was clear that Ava didn’t match this crowd in the slightest. 

“May I join you?” Beatrice asked quietly.

“What?” Ava had been in another world. “Oh! Of course!” She looked at the woman who stood before her. For some reason, she looked vaguely familiar, but Ava couldn’t quite place her face. 

“I’m Beatrice.” She said, extended a hand to Ava’s. 

“Not to be rude, but have we met? You look… Familiar.” Ava’s cheeks burned. 

“I don’t think so…” Beatrice hesitated; she had a good feeling why Ava thought they’d met. There was no way to bring it up without seeming like a self-centered prick, so Beatrice chose not to. 

“Hmm… Okay.” Ava seemed satisfied enough with that non-answer. 

“I still didn’t get your name.” 

“Ava.”

“So, Ava.” Beatrice couldn’t deny that she liked how the name felt in her mouth. “What brings you here?” 

“I had a panel earlier. It’s funny actually, I ended up going over my scheduled slot by more than double.” Ava chuckled at the thought of it.

“Double? Did you not practice your presentation beforehand?” She wasn’t trying to be rude, rather, Beatrice was taken aback at the deviation. 

“Well…” Ava ran a hand through her already tousled blonde hair. “I decided to do more of a…  _ Discussion.  _ Or a Q&A. It was great!” 

“That’s certainly… Brave.”

“I wasn’t trying to be, I just thought it would be more authentic than coming in with some over-rehearsed speech.” Ava admitted honestly. She didn’t intend to insult Beatrice with her words, how could she have been?

“Well, now I’m kind of offended.” Beatrice half joked. 

“Oh! I’m sorry! I wasn’t trying to…” Ava was surprisingly flustered. “I think it depends what you are presenting on though, doesn’t it?” 

“I’m sure that’s true.”

“I probably should have led with this, but I’m not always good at small talk. What were you presenting today?”

“I’m a scientist. A few other colleagues and I were here presenting on green technology.” Beatrice was downplaying both her own, and her company's accomplishments. 

“That’s really cool. There aren't enough minds dedicated to that type of tech right now, although I won’t pretend to be an expert.” Ava took a deep breath. “You’re not like a lot of the other people here. Most of them are jumping at the chance to tell you their entire resume, basically bragging in a socially acceptable way.” 

“I know what you mean.” Beatrice answered. “Now, why are  _ you  _ here today?”

“I’m a writer.” Ava stated, replying honestly, but with as few words as possible. 

“Wait a minute…” Beatrice paused. “You’re Ava Silva.”

“I am.” Internally, Ava cringed, loathing the attention. All too late, she wished she had written her novels under a pen name. She could have picked something way cooler, too. 

“I have to admit, I haven’t read any of your books. I don’t really read fiction.” Despite that, she was suddenly curious.

“It’s not for everyone.” Ava replied, completely serious. Internally, however she was screaming:  _ thank god! _

“What’s it like, being a writer?” 

“I think it’s different for everyone.” Oddly enough, the question put Ava at ease. She could pretend she was back in her panel, instead of talking to a beautiful scientist. “Although, I’ve been told more than once that my methods are… Unorthodox.”

“You have to know that I’m going to need more of an explanation than that.” Beatrice was increasingly interested in the woman that sat next to her; she wanted to know every detail. For no reason really - at least, not a conscious reason.

“Hmm…” Ava pondered for a moment, trying to think of an example that wouldn’t be too weird. “Yesterday I got back from a hiking trip.”

“That doesn’t seem unorthodox to me.” Beatrice whispered, fully expecting Ava to add several clarifying details. 

“Well, I was gone for nearly a month. I went by myself and I didn’t stay on the trail. I just walked when I wanted to walk and slept when I wanted to sleep.”

“I… What?” It was Beatrice’s turn to be flustered. Not out of judgement, but rather, the concept of it seemed completely alien. 

“It rained pretty much the entire time. I was  _ so  _ cold.” Ava laughed at the memory, oddly amused by her past suffering. 

“I honestly don’t understand.” 

“You should have come to my -” 

Ava was interrupted by Camila’s sudden arrival. “Hi, sorry to interrupt.” She gave Beatrice a kind, sympathetic look. “Ava, your presence is required elsewhere. Sorry again, I wouldn’t have interrupted if it weren’t important. Meet me in the hall in a minute, please.” Camila instructed. She squeezed Ava’s shoulder as she left, a prod into action, if you will.

“Duty calls, I’m afraid.” Ava shrugged as she stood up, genuinely sad to leave the conversation. 

Before Ava could leave, Beatrice reached out and grabbed her hand with surprising speed. Ava gasped, partially at the shock of it, partially for another reason altogether. 

“Maybe… You could explain it to me another time?” Beatrice asked quietly, pressed her business card into Ava’s hand. 

“Absolutely.” Ava grinned before running,  _ literally _ , towards her meeting with Camila. 

Beatrice sat for a few moments afterwards, having to suddenly catch her breath. Eventually, she rejoined her GPL colleagues, although she was quiet and detached for the rest of the day. Meanwhile, Camila and Ava had an impromptu meeting with a publisher that Camila had been chatting with. It was likely an important meeting, yet Ava’s thoughts were entirely on Beatrice. She still couldn’t shake the feeling that they had met before. 


	3. Interrupted Once More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beatrice and Ava go on a (sort of) first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly, the gobblegum system kind of ruins the flow of zombies gameplay in black ops 3. dont @ me

Ava’s alarm clock blared through the room, shrieking through the relaxing sound of rain against the windows. After a few seconds of this torture, a sleep mangled Ava managed to turn off the alarm. A ragged sigh escaped her lips as she pulled herself from the bed. Her bare feet came in contact with the freezing floor, causing her to wince as she wandered through the house. It still felt weird to wake up indoors. She haphazardly dug through her dresser, eventually retrieving a pair of thick, woolen socks. Satisfied with her find, she trudged downstairs, in desperate need of caffeine. 

Her house looked exactly like one would expect. None of the furniture was even close to matching, a random collection of pieces Ava liked. Some of them were purchased from legitimate furniture stores, whereas others were rescued from the trash. There were pillows and rugs everywhere, making the house feel cozy if nothing else. In the living room there was no TV. Instead, the room was entirely lined with bookshelves, which overflowed into stacks on the floor. Ava was a well-travelled woman; the walls were lined with souvenirs from her travels. Finally, on the back of her front door, was a whiteboard hung up by Camila. It was detailed with important reminders and phone numbers; the only organised area in a sea of chaos. 

Speaking of chaos,  _ Ava was out of coffee.  _ True, she had been planning to go to the coffee shop down the street, but she would have preferred at least one cup to get her there. Frustradely, she ran back upstairs and got ready. Without paying much attention, she threw on the first pair of pants she found, along with a heavy fisherman’s sweater. Ava roughly tied her hair into some semblance of a bun and then ran back downstairs. 

With her laptop and bag full of notebooks, she started off down the street. There was a small newsstand on the way, she had become good friends with the owner after several years of passing him daily. Today, she stopped to buy a few pieces of fruit, since Camila kept telling her not to drink four cups of coffee on an empty stomach anymore. As Ava stopped to pay, however, her jaw dropped.

On the cover of this month’s issue of  _ Scientific American,  _ Beatrice’s face seemed to be watching her. Ava had walked past this same stand the day before yesterday and thought nothing of the display of magazines. Today, however, she couldn’t seem to look away.

“Ava, do you want anything else, dear?” The older gentleman who ran the newsstand asked kindly, interrupting her freight train of thoughts. 

“I… Uh… Can I have one of those as well, please?” She gestured to one of the magazines as she spoke. 

“Of course.” 

“Thank you.” With that, she paid and left, still reeling from the realisation. Ava walked quickly for the next few blocks, for two reasons. Mainly, she was trying to beat the rain, which seemed to have let up for a moment. It would be dishonest, however, to deny that Ava was in a hurry to read the article about Beatrice. 

A few minutes later, she made it, slightly out of breath. She quickly ordered her coffee, before heading upstairs to the small seating area. There was a wooden counter by the window; it was one of Ava’s favourite places to work. From her bag, she withdrew her laptop and notebooks, giving every impression that she was going to begin sorting through them. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind that she’d need to read the article first, though. 

As she gratefully sipped her coffee, Ava stared at the photo on the cover of the magazine for several seconds. Adjacent to the undeniably beautiful photo was the following headline:  _ Innovation under 30: The Takeover of Green Tech.  _ With gentle movements, Ava flipped through until she found the article. There were several photos of Beatrice and her team in the lab, alongside complex diagrams that Ava didn’t understand. One picture in particular caught Ava’s eye. 

Beatrice stood alongside another woman, both of them smiling in front of a complex piece of machinery. Underneath the picture, however, the caption provided Ava with a few details.  _ Beatrice and Lilith standing in front of their first prototype hybrid propulsion engine. The duo met during their time at MIT and began working on the design during their formative years. They were both hired by GPL immediately upon graduation.  _

Unable to resist the temptation, Ava retrieved her phone, as well as Beatrice’s business card. Eagerly, she dialed the number embossed across the card. 

“Hello?” Beatrice answered after the second ring and Ava felt her breath catch in her throat. 

“I saw something interesting today.” Ava began, without introduction or preamble. 

“Yes?” Beatrice, at this point, had realised the unknown number was Ava’s. 

“I just so happened to pick up a copy of  _ Scientific American,  _ and guess who I see on the cover?”

“Hmmm…” Beatrice pretended to ponder the question. 

“I knew you looked familiar!” Ava couldn’t help but laugh, realising that Beatrice had been hiding her own accomplishments just as she had tried to. 

“Did you call just to tell me this?” Beatrice didn’t match Ava’s laugh, although there was an audible smile on her face. 

“What? Oh! No!” Ava stuttered slightly. “Well, not entirely. Are you… Busy today?” 

“I have several schematics to read over and approve…” She paused for a moment, trying to regain her composure. “But I could sneak away for lunch if you’re willing to meet me near the GPL building?” 

“I’ll be there.” Ava grinned. 

“Great. See you soon.” 

“Likewise.”

After the phone call, Ava sat back in her chair, energised despite only drinking a quarter of her coffee. Before starting her work, she set half a dozen alarms in her phone, determined not to be late.  _ For once.  _ Only then did she allow herself to begin going through the water damaged notebooks from her trip. 

Between the anticipation for her  _ date  _ with Beatrice and the process of digitising her notes, the morning sped by. Just as she had discussed in her presentation the day prior, a lot of the ideas in her notebooks weren’t worth keeping. Before Ava could start choosing what she wanted to pursue, however, the alarms she set snapped her out of focus. As she hurried downtown, a small excerpt echoed in her mind. 

_ The primordial forest creeps around me; neither enemy nor friend. As the loamy earth gathers around my feet, I am consumed by the ancients. _

Beatrice slipped out of the lab half an hour early. Trading her lab coat out for her jacket, she walked to a nearby bookstore. On the display inside, there was a massive stack of Ava’s latest release,  _ Where I Wander.  _ Turning over the book in her hands, Beatrice looked at Ava’s picture on the back. It was surreal. In reading the summary, Beatrice learned that the main character was consumed with love - a seemingly motivating factor for the events of the story. 

As Beatrice headed to the counter to buy it, out of an odd curiosity, self-doubt seemed to cloud her thoughts. Was she reading into this too much? If Ava wrote so thoroughly about love, was she even single? Perhaps more hauntingly, was this even a date? Her nervous fingers ran over the thick, golden sticker that denoted best selling novels as she stood in line. Minutes later, she was back outside in the misty rain. 

“Sorry I’m late!” Ava yelled as she ran towards the Greentech building. Granted, it was only by three minutes, but she still chastised herself internally. 

“That’s quite alright.” Beatrice smiled at the sight of her. 

“Camila always tells me I need to work on my punctuality.” Ava quickly checked the time on her phone as she reached Beatrice. “Only three minutes. Not too bad.” 

“Camila?” 

“The lovely woman who interrupted our discussion yesterday. My best friend and publicist and assistant and… Everything. She keeps my life together, basically.” Ava laughed heartily. “So where are we going?”

“There’s a great little sandwich place around the corner.” Beatrice explained, as she began to walk. Ava followed. Visually, the two of them couldn’t have looked more different. For Ava’s slightly wrinkled and casually messy outfit, Beatrice was the picture of refinement - entirely clean lines. Underneath her long navy coat, she wore a neatly pressed linen shirt, with dress pants. Her hair was tied in a neat bun, there wasn’t a single strand out of place. Ava, of course, could not say the same. 

As Ava walked silently alongside Beatrice, she recalled all the times Camila told her that she never got nervous. Right now, though there was certainly a flutter in her chest; a shake in her hands. Was this nervousness? Ava grinned, she already couldn’t wait to tell Camila about this later. Before she could delve too deep into her thoughts, they had arrived, and were seated at a table. 

After ordering, the two of them sat in a slightly awkward silence. For a moment, at least, because Ava was unbothered by the discomfort. Shamelessly, she pulled the magazine from her bag, opening to the article she’d read earlier. 

“May I ask you some questions?” Ava asked, as Beatrice stared at her own face from across the table. 

“Do I have a choice?” Beatrice responded lightheartedly. This had to be a good sign, Ava seemed just as curious about her as she was about Ava. 

“There’s always a choice.” 

“I’ll answer your questions, if I may ask some after?” 

“Of course.” Ava exhaled in preparation. “It says here you went to MIT. What did you study?” 

“This feels like an interview. Mechanical engineering.” Beatrice replied.

“Impressive.” Ava answered simply. “Who is this next to you?” Ava pointed to her favourite picture in the article, the one of Beatrice and Lilith together. 

“That’s Lilith. She’s my partner.”

“Oh…” Ava’s face fell.

“Oh!” Beatrice echoed, realising how that must have sounded. “Not my  _ romantic  _ partner, but my partner in the lab. On the projects we’re working on at Greentech. She’s also my best friend.”

“Interesting…” Ava’s smile returned. “Would you mind telling me about your work? In simple terms, though.”

“At its core, we are working on designing and building cleaner methods of propulsion. Engines, basically. Right now, we have two methods of attacking the issue. Firstly, we are making standard combustion engines much more efficient. It isn’t the most elegant solution, but if we can make cars that have double their current fuel efficiency, it would still cut emissions.”   
  


“That’s a good explanation and an even better goal. What is the second method?” Ava wondered genuinely. 

“Designing engines that don’t use fossil fuels at all. Granted, these already exist, although they aren’t always practical on a larger scale. There’s still a lot of work to be done.” Beatrice explained.

“That’s fantastic!” Ava was enthusiastic. For someone who spent as much time outside as she did, how couldn’t she be?

“It’s definitely exciting work.” Beatrice agreed, surprisingly happy that Ava felt the same. “May I ask a few questions of my own now? Or do you have more?” 

“I  _ always  _ have more, but go ahead.” Ava flashed her a slightly crooked smile, slipping the magazine back into her bag.

“Alright…” Beatrice reached into her own bag, retrieving the copy of Ava’s book she bought earlier. 

“Wait, that’s not fair!” Ava exclaimed.

“Life’s not fair.” She laughed, her insecurities from before all but forgotten. “Is this secretly an autobiography, based on your deeply passionate love life?” Beatrice took on the cadence of a joke, but in reality, she was searching for confirmation that Ava was single. 

“No. It’s funny, I got a similar question during yesterday’s panel. But no, it’s not. I’ve never been in love.” Ava answered honestly. 

“I’ll admit, I haven’t read this yet, but I plan on doing so.” 

“I’d be curious to hear your thoughts.” Ava replied, although for some reason, the thought of Beatrice reading it made her anxious. 

“I’ll be sure to give them to -” Before Beatrice could finish her sentence, she was interrupted by the blaring of her phone. 

“Hello?” She spoke in the device, giving Ava an embarrassed and sympathetic look.

“Hey, it’s me.” Lilith talked hurriedly. “We had a technical failure in the test lab - it just set us back several weeks.”

“Fuck. Alright. I’ll be there soon.” Beatrice hung up and sighed. 

“Ava, I am so sorry, but I have an emergency to deal with.” Beatrice stood up from the table and put her jacket back on. “I’ll pay for our lunch on the way out, but maybe we could do this again sometime?” 

“Of course.” Ava smiled. “I’d like that.” 

“Thank you for understanding.” Beatrice returned her smile, before hurrying away. Ava watched her leave. 

She sat in the restaurant for several minutes, trying to put the inexplicable feeling in her heart on paper. Normally, this wasn’t a difficult process for her, of all people. As she finished her lunch, Ava pulled her trusty notebook out, scrawling a few sentences across the corner of one of the pages. 

_ All the words in the world couldn’t describe what I felt in that moment. Obviously, neither could my sloppy, broken stanzas. Mercurial at best, but a slave to what compels me. _


	4. Parallels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beatrice tells Lilith about her date. Ava tells Camila about hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im actually an AI programmed to write wn fic, im not a real person

“We had the third prototype set up in the testing chamber, just as was scheduled for today. Somehow, one of the fuel lines hadn’t been secured, causing the whole thing to malfunction.” Lilith explained quickly to Beatrice as she switched back into her lab coat. “Thankfully it was set up in the test chamber and not as a practical test, otherwise there would have been injuries.” They regrouped with the team in front of a giant glass panel. Within, there was a charred remnant of what had been a promising prototype. 

“This is not good…” Beatrice whispered. After the great, albeit brief, time she had just spent with Ava, coming back to this gave her whiplash. 

“Decidedly not.” Lilith answered. All of the junior scientists around them were scared to speak. 

“How close are you to completing the next version of this one?” Beatrice asked, gesturing to the smoldering wreckage.

“A week, maybe two.”

“Once this one is safe to handle, wheel it into my office.” Beatrice instructed one of the junior scientists, before turning back to Lilith. “I’ll postpone my other work and try to diagnose the problem on this model.”

“Can you get it to me before the deadline?” Lilith was slightly incredulous, for good reason. Their task was nearly impossible, especially given the damage to the newer model. 

“I don’t think we have a choice. We have the older model and the husk of a newer one. I’ll try to reverse engineer the issues with this one and pass the changes along to you. If I can get through them quickly enough, you should be able to implement them in the final design.” Beatrice could feel her stress rising as she spoke. 

“Wouldn’t be the first time we’ve done the impossible.” Lilith gave her a brief, anxious smile, before hurrying off to another lab. 

They both ended up staying at work late that night, long after the rest of the team had been dismissed. One of the assistants had ordered them a pizza before he left, which they ate in the lab during a short break. 

“It’s a bit like college, isn’t it?” Lilith reminisced as she ate. 

“Yes, but no. I’d like to think we are better friends now.” Beatrice grinned slightly. “Although we did spend a lot of late nights in the lab, eating pizza and building engines.” 

“Some things never change.” Lilith paused for a moment, a marked change in her demeanor. “Where were you today?” 

“What?” For a moment, Beatrice wasn’t sure what she was asking.

“I ran up to your office after the tech failure, but you weren’t there. I realised it was your lunch break, but you  _ never  _ take lunch. Plus, your lunch was already in the fridge.” Lilith explained her reasoning, which was sound.

“I need to get dumber friends.” 

“You need to stop dodging the question.” Lilith gave her a joking smile.

“I… Had a date.” Beatrice admitted, feeling her cheeks burn as she did so. 

“You what?” Lilith nearly dropped her pizza in disbelief. 

“Hey! I’m not ugly! Don’t sound so surprised!” Beatrice laughed slightly, although Lilith’s surprise was more than fair. 

“Who do you even know that you’d be willing to go on a date with?” She gasped. “Is it someone from work?”

“ _ God,  _ no.”

“Well? Are you going to tell me?” Lilith looked like she was about to jump out of her chair. 

“We met at the Innovation conference yesterday.” Beatrice mumbled sheepishly. 

“And?”

“She’s kind and unpredictable. Intriguing. I don’t know why, but I want to learn everything about her.” Beatrice told her. Oddly, it felt good to say it aloud. 

“Does she have a name?” Lilith prodded her for more information. 

“Ava.”

“Wait a minute…” Lilith crossed the room, retrieving one of the pamphlets from yesterday’s conference. “This Ava?” She asked, holding the brochure open to one of the pages. A picture of Ava, along with a short bio and presentation times were printed across the page. 

“Yes…” Beatrice whispered.

“A writer.” Lilith muttered as she looked over Ava’s bio. “She seems…  _ Interesting. _ ”

“Why do you have to say it like that?” Beatrice grumbled as she stood up to continue working on the project.

“It says here she spent eight months in total isolation, living in an abandoned cabin in Montana. You want to tell me that’s not weird behaviour?” Lilith challenged, as she rejoined Beatrice. 

“She’s definitely… Eccentric. But I honestly don’t think it comes from her trying to be pretentious, if that’s what you’re implying.” Beatrice defended Ava fervently, a woman who’d she barely spent an hour talking to.

“Not exactly. She just seems, well, different to anyone you’ve ever known.” 

“I like that. The way she thinks is so unique and refreshing. I’m just, I don’t know, curious to see where this goes.” 

“She must be interesting. I’ve never seen you act like this before.” Lilith observed quietly. 

“Don’t worry, Lilith. Maybe one day, you can go on a date too.” Beatrice couldn’t resist the quip. 

“Oh, don’t you start with me.” Lilith bit back, albeit with a lighthearted tone. “Oh, what’s this?” She reached past the disconnected fuel lines on the engine block, unclicking a small metal object from within the tangled mess. “ _ Oh no. _ ” She breathed, barely audible. 

“What is it?” Beatrice felt her heart rate double, the panic in Lilith’s voice was unmistakable. 

“It’s sabotage.” She replied, passing the object to her partner. 

“We have to report this.” 

“No, we can’t.” Lilith was resolute.

“Why not? We’re already behind schedule, at least now, they’ll be a reason for that.” Beatrice leaned back in her chair and took a deep breath. “This makes sense, actually. I went over your designs for that prototype a dozen times. There was no fault that could have even caused this.” 

“If we report it, whoever placed it will know that we figured it out. They’ll either get smarter with their work, or be replaced by someone who will be.” Lilith explained. 

“I see. Whereas, if we keep them close, we can figure out who it is. Plus, since this method worked this time, they would most likely try to sabotage the project in the same way. Thus, we can check for it before our next test.” Beatrice completed Lilith’s thought, not needing the concept to be explained fully. 

“Exactly.” Lilith was grim. 

“We should consider increasing lab security. And we’ll have to keep a closer eye on the juniors going forward.” 

“Agreed.” 

Ava burst into the building, making a beeline for Camila’s office. The door was open, so she walked in and sat in one of her two chairs. 

“Ava?” Camila turned around from her computer. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here today. You’re not scheduled for any meetings.” 

“I know, I came to talk to you!” Ava grinned.

“Why do I feel like you have news?” 

“Because I do! Guess where I was just a little while ago.” 

“Where?” Camila was never a fan of Ava’s guessing games, the answers were usually too obscure. 

“I was on…” Ava paused for dramatic effect. “A date!”

“Wait, actually?” Camila was genuinely surprised, something she rarely felt after working for and being friends with Ava for years. 

“Yes! Remember yesterday when you interrupted my conversation so we could go to that boring meeting?” 

“That meeting was important. But yes, I remember.” 

“Well, I went on a date with her. Beatrice. Today.” Ava told her, with pride. 

“Oh, one of the GPL scientists, right?” Camila asked, her curiosity piqued. 

“Wait, how do you know that?” Just as Lilith had, Camila withdrew that conference brochure from her desk and opened it to the Greentech page. 

“Oh…” Ava whispered as she read over Beatrice’s bio. There were several other members of their team who had spoken, Lilith being among them. 

“What happened to  _ everyone here is boring and condescending _ ?” Camila teased.

“I’ll admit, I may have been wrong.” 

“I’m sorry, what?” Camila laughed. “Can you repeat that for me?” 

“Very funny.” Ava pretended to pout for a moment. “I just thought my best friend would want to hear about my date, but I guess not.”

“I do, you know that. But I’m also very busy. Speaking of which, would you be interested in doing a speaking engagement this Wednesday?” 

“Sure.”

“Don’t you want any more details?” Camila made a note on her computer. 

“I figured we would be going together.” Ava told her, raising an eyebrow.

“We would, but still…” 

“Then I don’t need any more details! It’s more authentic if it’s unplanned. I want every public appearance to be different. To be  _ real.  _ I don’t want to spend my days giving the same speech over and over again.” Ava’s passion for her work was evident in her words. 

“I understand.” Camila whispered, adding yet another note. 

“I knew you would.” Ava smiled. “Is there anything else? All of this newfound  _ dating  _ has left me little time for work.” She added, standing up to leave. 

“The publisher called, they want an approximate date for your next manuscript.” Camila mumbled, slightly fearful. Ava wasn’t a fan of their publisher. 

“Ugh…” She looked down for a moment. “You know I hate their deadlines. Creativity doesn’t always respect the passage of time.”

“I know.” Camila gave her a sympathetic look. 

“I can start having stuff to the editor in a month, with a full manuscript in four or less.” Ava added, with determination in her voice. 

“Really?” 

“I think so.” Ava took a slightly shaky breath. “And guess what?”

“What?” 

“I felt nervous today.”

“What? You never get nervous!” Camila was truly surprised now, even more so that she had been before. 

“That’s what I thought too, but I was.” Ava chuckled heavily. “It’s a pretty gross feeling, I don’t know how people deal with it.” 

“Wow, it must be serious.” Camila half-joked.

“It definitely has the potential to be.” 

They shared a serious look, before Ava turned to leave. “Okay, I will leave you to your work now. And, I’ll go do mine.”

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Camila said expectantly. 

“Oh! Sorry!” Ava scurried across the office, giving Camila a warm hug, before leaving. 

“Good luck!” She called as Ava left. 

Back outside, rain was falling heavily once more. Ava shivered, wishing that she’d brought an extra layer to wear. Despite that, she decided to walk all the way home. It was inspiring weather and she had a lot of thoughts to work through. Granted, everyone who saw her that day probably thought she was insane. Rain poured from the sky as she walked  _ four miles  _ back home. By the time Ava made it through the door, she was thoroughly soaked and her teeth were chattering loudly from the cold. 

Without hesitation, she peeled her wet clothing off in the doorway and climbed into as hot of a shower as she could stand. After several minutes, the shivering seemed to subside.

“Maybe that wasn’t my smartest idea.” Ava whispered to herself, although she was slightly amused all the same. She climbed out of the shower and changed into pajamas, her head entirely in the clouds. 

Even before she had done her research on boredom, Ava had always been fascinated with it. From a young age, she’d noticed that her mind would run wild during class, or similarly boring activities. Whereas, when life was exciting, there was less mental real estate available for her to be creative. In addition to Ava’s penchant for bizarrely masochist trips, she had several other ways to make parts of each day less interesting. 

For instance, she nearly always walked the same route home. It was quiet, she knew it by heart, and it provided few distractions. Each day, she’d meditate, or just sit and stare at one of her walls. Camila thought this was absolute insanity the first time she walked in on Ava doing it, but the ideas she came up with while doing so were undeniably good. Today, she attempted the same, with a warm cup of tea her only distraction. 

Oddly enough, although this had never been a problem in the past, the tea became a problem. On this occasion, Ava thought only of Beatrice. Did she even like tea? Just because she was English didn’t mean she automatically liked tea. Her internally arguing about the issue continued for another minute, but the thoughts of Beatrice lasted much longer. By dinner time, she’d only written a single sentence down. 

_ An absolute distraction that I never anticipated, yet I couldn’t be further from anger.  _


	5. Expectations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava and Beatrice finally have an uninterrupted date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, how are you?

_ 18 Years Ago:  _

“Readings are safe, push the power to 50%.” The woman instructed her husband, who was controlling the reactor. 

“Here we go.” He answered, sliding several dials to the appropriate numbers. The entire room hummed with power. 

“Stabilising… Stabilising…” She paused, waiting for the chart to reach equilibrium. “Alright, we’re in the clear. Let’s go to 70%.” 

Once again, he acquiesced, and the room grew louder with mechanical noises. Across the complex electronic readouts, there were no errors, no clues that anything was wrong. 

“Is it ready to hit max?” He asked, his hand sitting nervously over the lever.

“In a moment… Yes. Do it.” She agreed, a nervous smile pressed across her lips. 

“This could make history.” He whispered, manipulating the machine. 

Roaring mechanics and the pulsing sound of rotors filled the room. It was already deafening, but the sound that came after was worse. With no warning, the critical failure alarms started blaring, nearly forcing the couple to their knees. 

“Shut it down!” She yelled, a hand pressed to her ears. 

“I’m trying!” He replied in a shout. “It’s not responding!” 

“It’ll blow the entire facility if we can’t stop it!” 

As quickly as he could with shaking hands, the man tried every combination of overrides to shut down the mysteriously malfunctioning machine. There was no use. 

“We have to seal it.” He realised quietly, the implication clear. 

“Agreed.” A tear slipped down her face as she ran to seal the blast doors. They were running out of time; smoke was now pouring from the reactor and sparks flew from it’s internals. 

“I love you.” He whispered, as he held his wife underneath a bank of computers. 

“I love you too.” She laid her head on his shoulder, wrapped up in one another. “I hope Ava knows how much we love her.” 

“She does.” They held each other tighter, as the machine finally exploded, incinerating the entire room. While the couple had an impossible chance of survival, their actions saved the hundreds of people working within the facility. Many of whom weren’t aware of the experimental technology that was being developed a few floors below them. 

_ Present Day:  _

“Camila, hi. I need your advice.” Ava spoke into the phone as she walked. 

“About?” Camila prompted on the other end. 

“If I sent flowers to Beatrice’s office, would that be weird? We’ve only gone on one date, and it was interrupted halfway through.” 

“Ava, where are you? It’s loud.” 

“I’m at the public market. Can you answer the question?” Ava laughed slightly, although for the sake of Camila, she tried to move into a quieter area.

“I mean…” Camila paused and considered the question. “It might be a little strange, or forward. But, you’re a little strange too. So maybe it’s oddly fitting?” 

“Okay, rude.” Ava laughed. “Fuck it, I’m going to do it.” 

“Okay. Have you gotten any work done or are you spending all your time shopping?” Camila asked as another email from Ava’s editor hit her inbox. 

“I’ve gotten… A bit done.” Not a lie, technically, although if Camila knew how little of a bit it was, she would be concerned. 

“We need more than  _ a bit _ .” 

“I know, I know. I promise you, I’m working on it.” Ava promised, genuinely. She didn’t care about the publisher and their deadline, but upsetting Camila was another story. 

“I trust you.” 

“Thank you.” Ava sighed happily, knowing Camila wasn’t too angry with her, “I’ll let you get back to work now.” 

“Alright, good luck with your flowers.” She replied, before hanging up.

Ava grinned as she put her phone away. Camila’s approval of her plan was tentative at best, but she didn’t care. It was all the approval she needed. With a preternatural focus, she located a nearby florist and ducked inside. 

“Hi, how can I help you?” The man at the counter asked kindly. 

“Hi! Can I set up a delivery to a building in the city? Downtown, specifically?” Ava answered. 

“Of course. What kind of arrangement were you thinking about today?” 

She froze, having not thought that far ahead. “Umm… Do you like being a florist?”

“What?” The man was taken off guard with the question. 

“Do you like being a florist?” Ava repeated herself. “It must be unique working with a live medium, one that is constantly in flux.” 

“I suppose I do.” The man laughed heartily. 

“How about I give you free reign to create what you want?”

“Really?” The florist stared at her in disbelief. 

“Why not? I don’t know the first thing about flowers, plus how often do you get to make whatever you want?” Ava smiled, immediately charming. 

“Okay…” He leaned over and grabbed a notebook, obviously interested in Ava’s proposal. “Who is this for?” 

“Someone special. Or at least, I hope they will be.” 

“I see.” He jotted down a few notes. “Anything else?” 

“Nope! That’s it!” Ava grinned. 

“Do you want to leave a note to go with it?” He asked.

“A note?” She considered the possibility. “Yeah, why not?” 

“Just a moment.” He shuffled around under the desk, before retrieving an ornate card and a pen. “I’m going to go get started, just leave it on the counter when you’re ready.”

Ava thanked him and paid for the flowers and delivery. Then, she was stumped. The florist had retreated into the back of the store and she was alone with the empty card - alone with her suddenly racing thoughts. What should she say? Would a poem be pretentious? Yes, obviously. Or no? It was rare that Ava was so doubtful of her own actions. After several minutes, she finally decided, and bid farewell to the florist. She still had groceries to buy, but Ava bristled with excited anticipation as she shopped. 

Beatrice was soldering the wires to the control panel on the new prototype, while Lilith hooked up the fuel delivery system. They’d been at it for hours, trying to make up lost time. 

“It will look suspicious if we keep this prototype under lock and key.” Beatrice whispered as she worked. 

“Agreed. We’ll have to store it in the main lab to avoid giving ourselves away.” Lilith nodded. 

“We could hide a camera though, one that isn’t hooked to the main security system.” 

“That could work. We should also keep a log of any of the junior scientists who’ve worked on it. Just in case.” Lilith added. 

“Once we figure out who’s done it though, the plan remains the same, right?” Beatrice wondered as she carefully beaded solder on the delicate electronics. 

“More or less I suppose…” Lilith went silent in her deliberation. “I think that will, ultimately, depend on who it is.” 

“Of course.” 

“Excuse me, Beatrice?” One of the front desk assistants suddenly appeared in the doorway. 

“Yes?” She answered, without looking up from her work. 

“There was a delivery brought in for you, I had it sent to your office.” The woman told her, before retreating. 

“What did you order?” Lilith asked with idle curiosity. 

“I don’t remember ordering anything…” She trailed off and set the soldering iron down. “I’m going to go check, I’ll be back in a moment.” 

She covered the distance to her office with fast strides and closed the door behind her. On the desk, there was a massive bouquet of flowers. In all honesty, it was slightly hideous, an explosion of colour in an otherwise plain room. Still, Beatrice smiled as she withdrew the card from the package. There wasn’t a doubt who had sent this ridiculous display. 

_ We were interrupted yet again yesterday. Third time’s the charm?  _

_ \- Ava _

Beatrice was unable to contain her smile, it seemed that she wasn’t the only one who’s mind wasn’t on work. As much as she wanted to dwell on this, she had a behemoth pile of work to attend to. After a moment of deliberation, Beatrice had to settle for texting Ava. With slightly nervous hands, she punched out a message, before heading back to the lab. 

Beatrice:  _ Thank you. Hopefully our third try won’t be interrupted. What are you doing tomorrow night?  _

Ava:  _ I told the florist to do what he wanted, hopefully the arrangement wasn’t too weird. Tomorrow night? For you, I’m free.  _

“What was it?” Lilith questioned her as Beatrice entered the lab once more. 

“Ava sent me flowers.” 

“ _ Christ.  _ Are you serious?” 

“Are you jealous?” Beatrice gave her a joking grin. 

“You’ve gone on what, half a date?” Lilith raised an eyebrow as she worked. 

“Well, it was a really good half date, what can I say?” Normally, Beatrice wasn’t that keen on joking around, but Ava’s surprise had put her in a surprisingly good mood. 

“I’m sure.” Lilith rolled her eyes.

“Her publicist is pretty cute. Maybe I could set you up?” Beatrice suggested, half serious. 

“Can you focus? We are making good progress I’ll admit, but we are still incredibly behind schedule.” Lilith chastised her, although her cheeks hid a hint of redness.

“Right, right.” Beatrice continued working, quiet after that. 

Surprisingly, the next and a half passed quickly, and Beatrice found herself outside Ava’s front door. Her house was smaller than Beatrice would have expected, given her success, but Ava was constantly bucking expectations. With a gentle hand, Beatrice knocked on the door. A few moments later, it swung open.

“Hi!” Ava greeted her enthusiastically. Beatrice smiled at the sight, noting that Ava had donned yet another heavy fisherman’s sweater. 

“Hello.” 

“Thank you for picking me up.” Ava added as she stepped out and locked the door. “I have a car, but Camila always tells me I shouldn’t be allowed to drive it.” 

“Why?” Beatrice was undeniably curious. 

“Oh, I’m a terrible driver.” Ava laughed as they got in the car. “Not that I mean to be, but I get distracted.”

“I see.” 

“Speaking of cars…” Ava was rambling slightly, once again nervous, somehow only Beatrice brought it out in her. “What is this?” 

“It’s one of GPL’s prototype vehicles.” Beatrice answered simply. 

“You’re allowed to drive them?” 

“This one, yes. I…” She hesitated, not wanting to come off as though she was bragging. “I designed and built this one myself.”

“You  _ what _ ?” Ava sounded rightfully shocked. 

“I mean, not all of it, of course.” Beatrice awkwardly backtracked. “I didn’t sew the seats, or put the dashboard in. But I designed the engine and main components of the vehicle. The engine was put together in the lab, so I had a few extra helping hands.” 

“I’m still impressed.” Ava told her. Beatrice only grimaced, hating the attention. “So, where are we going?” Ava asked when Beatrice failed to reply. 

“I thought we could take the ferry and watch the sunset before dinner.” Beatrice summoned as much confidence as possible with her answer, nervous at what Ava would think of her idea.

“Sounds perfect.” She whispered, a smile on her lips. 

Several minutes later, they both stood on the front deck of the ferry. It was blissfully deserted since it was not only freezing cold, but also a weekday. 

“Did you handle your work emergency?” Ava asked as they were bit by the windy cold. 

“More or less. We had a prototype test that went wrong, which set us weeks behind schedule. I had to push back all of my other projects to fix it in time.” Beatrice recounted what happened, although she didn’t mention the sabotage. 

  
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Ava sounded genuine as she leaned against the railing of the boat. “But I’m glad you’ll be able to catch up. You’re doing important work.” 

“It helps to remember that when it becomes stressful.” 

“I can imagine.” 

“How is work for you?” Beatrice wondered, realising that she wasn’t entirely sure what did on a daily basis. 

“Work is… Complicated.” Ava sighed. “My publisher is… Quite deadline oriented. As much as Camila tries to calm them down, she can only do so much. I’ve promised them a manuscript in four months or less.”

“That doesn’t seem like much time.” Beatrice whispered, moving slightly closer to Ava as she spoke. 

“It isn’t. Doubly so, since I’m having trouble getting started. I have all these fragments - shards of ideas… But nothing is sticking. Plus, I’ve been distracted.” Ava answered honestly, while leaving out what the source of her distraction was.

“Perhaps work is stressful for both of us, then.” 

“Perhaps.” Ava agreed. “So tell me about something else then. Let’s just dive into it. Tell me about your family.” 

“I couldn’t if I wanted to, I haven’t spoken to them in years.” 

“Oh. I’m sorry. Had I known that would be the answer, I wouldn’t have asked.” Ava’s cheeks burned slightly, although they were already red from the cold. 

“You’d didn’t know, it’s alright. Tell me about your family.” Beatrice returned Ava’s question. 

“I would if I could, but my parents died when I was young. Car crash.” 

“I’m sorry.” 


	6. I'll Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, an uninterrupted date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my head is fuckin pounding, but i was in the mood to write, so idk.

“That’s alright. It was nearly twenty years ago now.” Ava looked at the city skyline across the water. “They were scientists, like you.” She admitted, which was perhaps one of the reasons Ava felt so drawn to Beatrice.    
“Do you know what they were working on?” Beatrice asked quietly, not wanting to overstep what was appropriate. 

“Hmm…” Ava paused to think for a moment. “Something with energy? I don’t remember, honestly.” 

“I see.” Beatrice’s voice was barely a whisper.

“Now that we’ve touched on our childhood trauma, why don’t we delve into something a bit lighter?” Ava laughed, setting Beatrice’s nerves at ease. “What do you do for fun?” 

“For fun?” Beatrice echoed, earning herself a nod. She was thinking about the question at speed, but all that came to mind was work. “I’m not sure.” 

“I can’t imagine that’s a sentence you say often.” Ava gave her a warm smile. “When you get home from work, what do you do? Or on your days off?”

“Honestly, there haven’t been many days off lately. The last few years have been extraordinarily busy. I’d love to be spending more time outside, skiing or hiking. It just… Hasn’t been in the cards lately.” Beatrice looked slightly downtrodden at the admission. 

“I’m sorry to hear that. Maybe… Maybe next time you can take an entire day off we could go spend some time outdoors.” 

“Only if we don’t have to go on one of your odd suffering trips I’ve heard about.” For the first time that evening, Beatrice laughed. She felt free. 

“Fine, but you’re missing out.” 

“Well, what does the infamous Ava do for fun?” 

“My entire life is fun!” Ava replied with a grin. 

“Really?” Beatrice found herself once again puzzled by Ava’s answers to her questions. 

“I mean… Are there parts of it that are awful? Yes, and they are usually of my own making. But it’s impossible to appreciate the fun and happy times without the contrast of suffering. Lately, I’ve been trying to cut out the middle man, and try to appreciate the bad as it comes to me.” Ava responded, her face pensive. 

“That’s an interesting perspective.” 

“I’m not trying to be weird or interesting.” Ava took a deep breath as if to gather her confidence. “But I am trying to be honest.”

“I appreciate that.” Beatrice breathed, oblivious to the cold air that buffeted them as the ferry moved through the water. “But why?” 

“I’m not sure. I don’t get nervous… Ever, really. But being around you…” Ava didn’t finish her sentence, although the meaning was implied. 

“Would you be nervous if I did this?” In a surprisingly bold move, Beatrice gently took Ava’s hand in her own. 

“Yes, but in the best way.” Ava could feel her heartbeat. 

“Glad to hear it.” Beatrice was nervous too, of course, but also exhilarated. For the simplicity of the movement, contact with Ava felt electrifying - energising. She had been tired before, run down from a long and stressful week. But now? Now, Beatrice was sure she could run a marathon if she wanted to. 

They stood in silence for several minutes, hands always in contact with each other. As the sun set behind them, the sky burned in pink and orange hues. Amongst the skyline, a sea of glass reflected the light back at them. It seemed almost sacred in its reverence, and neither woman spoke, lest they broke the spell. As the ferry docked, however, the illusion was shattered and the sky was dark. 

“That was beautiful.” Ava breathed as they disembarked. 

“Agreed.” They walked in stride with one another, retreating a short distance from the pier. “What do you want to get for dinner?” 

“I…” Ava placed her spare hand on her stomach. “Seafood.” 

“Okay, we can do that.” Beatrice couldn’t help but laugh at the action, while also thankful to get a straight answer. 

After a short walk, they found themselves seated at a fairly upscale restaurant. Not so upscale, however, that Ava was in violation of the dress code. The waitress, having sensed the two were on a date, placed them at a somewhat secluded table in the corner, overlooking the window. Once they were seated, Beatrice wasted no time in pulling Ava’s book from her bag. 

“So, I have a few questions.” She smiled, her copy of the novel now covered in pen, highlighter, and post-it notes. 

“Are we doing this again?” Ava cocked an eyebrow, although she was lighthearted about it. 

“If that’s okay…” Beatrice gave her half a smile, almost flirty in nature. 

“It is.” Ava gestured to the book. “Go ahead.”

“Thank you.” Beatrice flipped open to her first note. “On page 13, you wrote the following.”

_ My heart ached in anticipation for a day that would never come. Moreso, in anticipation for what I could not know. I was stuck searching, a futile effort in itself. Little did I know, love could only be found when I wasn’t looking for it.  _

“Is this what the main character is thinking, or is this a reflection of self?” Beatrice asked, posing an incredibly thoughtful question. 

“That’s a really good question.” Ava took a deep breath and gathered her thoughts. “Sometimes, there isn’t always a clear line. When you create a character, no matter how hard you try, part of you is reflected in them. It’s a writer’s curse - or blessing, depending on how you think about it.” 

“That’s an interesting answer.” Beatrice quietly made a note in her book. “May I ask another?” 

“You may, but afterwards I get to ask two of my own. Fair’s fair.” Ava shot back coyly. 

“Here’s another passage I wanted to ask you about.” Beatrice began to read once more. 

_ Darkness follows me over the hills. My heart is in my throat, panting, inescapable. It knows my thoughts and predicts my every move. Within moments, I am trapped, unable to keep the chase going any longer. I am tired. I am darkness. Once again, I’ve become what I have feared.  _

“The epigraph that opens chapter five.” Ava observed, once Beatrice had finished reading it. 

“It’s dark.” 

“Literally.” Ava laughed. 

“I know that this chapter is where the story takes a darker turn, but I can’t help but feel as though this comes from someplace deeper.” Beatrice’s dark eyes met Ava’s, a burning moment between them. 

“It does, it’s entirely personal, but I guarantee it’s not what you think.” 

“Would you care to enlighten me?”

“When I wrote that line, I had been wandering for days. Or maybe weeks? I’m not sure. I was sleep deprived, cold, and hungry. Honestly, the whole trip was borderline dangerous and I should have reconsidered. I was basically hallucinating at that point.” Ava stopped to chuckle at the memory, while Beatrice stared at her like she was insane. “Anyway, the ‘darkness’ following me was actually a forest ranger. He was trying to warn me about the incoming storm, but I ran away because I thought he was some sort of spectre.” 

“ _ Jesus Christ. _ ” Beatrice mumbled under her breath. “That’s insane.” 

“I don’t mean to be.” Ava looked down, crestfallen. “Although I’ll be the first to admit I have a penchant for attracting these sorts of situations.” 

“I’m starting to realise that.” Under the table, Beatrice gently pressed her leg into Ava’s, a gesture of kindness, before anything else. 

“May I ask my questions now, doctor?” Ava winked as Beatrice cringed at being addressed as such. 

“Only if you promise not to call me doctor anymore.” 

“You have a PhD, it’s technically the correct mode of address.” Ava couldn’t resist teasing Beatrice, it was cute to see her squirm.

“It’s awkward and too formal.” Beatrice felt a compulsion to explain her reasoning. “When you’re a young woman in STEM, especially if you’re completing your degrees younger than is typical… It’s all anyone can see. With you, it’s not like that. I can be me. Just Beatrice.” 

“I… I’m sorry. I didn’t realise you felt that way. Beatrice.” Ava added her name for good measure. 

“Thank you. Alright, ask your questions. I’ll do my best to answer them.” Beatrice smiled, appreciative of Ava’s understanding. 

“Hmm… Free reign, just like that.” Ava quietly drummed her fingers against the table. “Do you like your work?”

“Yes. Most of the time, at least. Politics at the lab can be frustrating and oftentimes you’re pressed by deadlines. At the heart of it though, yes. There is something so indescribably satisfying about solving a problem.” Beatrice’s face lit up as she detailed the experience. 

“Especially if the designs you’re working on can save the world, right?” Ava prodded, with a gentle grin.

“I wouldn’t go that far. I work on more than just the hybrid propulsion designs, although that is my main focus. Some of the work at Greentech is classified, so I couldn’t tell you about it even if I wanted to.” 

“Interesting. Intriguing. A beautiful woman with classified secrets, how am I to resist?” 

“Most of them aren’t as exciting as you might think.” Beatrice whispered as her face blushed furiously. 

“Okay, but by saying  _ most  _ you are implying that some of them are exciting!” Ava was on the edge of her seat now. 

“Obviously, your next question can’t be about that.” Beatrice advised lightheartedly. 

“No fun.” Ava crossed her arms. “What’s been the proudest moment of your life thus far?” 

“When I decided to cut ties with my family, go to MIT, and then stay in the States.” Beatrice answered without missing a beat. 

“That was… Not what I expected.” 

“What did you expect?”

“I thought you were going to say… I don’t know, inventing the next greatest clean energy… Super computer or something.” Ava stuttered, uncharacteristically unsure of her words. 

“I’ve had my fair share of professional accomplishments. Many of which I  _ am _ proud of. But leaving England and rejecting the influence my parents had over my life was the most difficult obstacle I’ve faced thus far.” Beatrice surprised herself with her candor, let alone Ava. 

“What did they want for you?” 

“For starters? To be straight. A proper woman. To not speak up, nor speak out.” Beatrice’s eyes were far away, her words coming from the past. “Beyond that, they didn’t think it was becoming of a lady to get a, as they called it, ‘men’s degree.’”

“I’m sorry they weren’t supportive of your brilliance.” Ava stated simply, without her usual charisma. 

“Once again, I must remind you that it isn’t your fault. Plus, the wound is long healed.” Beatrice tried to keep her composure, but she was quickly getting crushed under the weight of Ava’s casual compliments. 

“I don’t think a wound like that can ever be fully healed.” Ava took her hand from across the table, holding it tightly. “Losing two of the most prominent figures of your life, regardless of the circumstances, is a pain that never truly fades. Sure, it is dulled through the passage of time. Yet when you least expect it, the hurt finds a way to stab you anew.” 

Once Ava completed her impromptu speech of sorts, Beatrice regarded her quietly for a moment, as her words hung around them. 

“You have a poetic mind.” Beatrice breathed, breaking the sudden silence. 

“You know, I get that a lot.” Ava couldn’t help but giggle slightly, reigniting the levity between them. 

“Have you ever considered being a writer?” Beatrice couldn’t resist making the obvious joke. 

“I should really look into that, huh?” 

The night passed languidly around them, although both women felt almost removed from time. Neither of them had ever felt so ignorant to the world passing around them as they did in that moment. It was past midnight before Beatrice finally made it back to Ava’s house. 

“Do you want to stay? It’s already late.” She offered quietly, without pretense or ulterior motives. 

“I know, but -” 

“Not like that! I’m… Not trying to be forward. But I know you’re tired and I’d feel better if I didn’t have to worry about you driving back into the city. You can sleep in my spare bedroom, I have pajamas you can borrow -” 

It was Beatrice’s turn to interrupt Ava. “I’ll stay.” 


	7. Redacted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava makes a discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> patrolling the mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter

Beatrice woke up early, out of habit. For a split second, she was confused as to where she was, but the night came back to her in a flash of realisation. Getting out of bed, she caught a look at herself in the mirror, wearing one of Ava’s shirts. Across the front, it read:  _ Denali National Park: SAR.  _ Beatrice could only imagine what Ava had been doing with a search and rescue team in Alaska. With a short laugh, she exited the bedroom and walked through the quiet house. 

Seeing Ava’s home in the light of day gave her the opportunity to notice details that she’d missed the night prior. For instance, the mismatched furniture and completely overflowing bookshelves. Beatrice wanted to be respectful, but curiosity was in her blood. On the wall nearest the bookshelf, there was a huge collage of printed photos, which Beatrice inspected carefully. 

It was slightly messy and had a distinct quality of being unfinished. Unmistakably Ava. There were pictures from all over the world, landscapes mostly. Most commonly represented were small polaroids of the misty, dark forests which are synonymous with the Pacific Northwest. Beyond those, there were oceans, mountains, and deserts. One of the rare photos with Ava in it caught Beatrice’s eye. She was standing arm in arm with a group of Bedouins, with nothing but desert behind them. The camera it was taken with must have been sandy, because the picture had a distinct graininess. Despite that, Ava’s grin seemed to stand out. 

“Can I help you?” Ava laughed from the doorway. Beatrice whipped around, startled by her sudden appearance. 

“Oh! Sorry! I wasn’t trying to be nosy, I just…” Beatrice trailed off, nervously aware of the photo in her hand.

“They’re on the wall to look at.” Ava smiled, a more rumpled version of herself from the night prior. 

“You’ve been all over the world.” Beatrice whispered, stating the obvious. There was a part of her that was envious. While she had shackled her to project after project, Ava had been living an amazingly full life. 

“Perks of the job, I suppose.” She crossed the room and stood next to Beatrice, gesturing at the photo in her hand. “We were lost in a sandstorm for two days before this photo. It was terrifying, but in an odd way, a real bonding experience.” 

“I… What?” Beatrice stared at her, meanwhile Ava looked over some of the other photos on the wall. 

“Do you want coffee?” Ava asked suddenly. 

“I’d prefer tea, if you have it.” She was quickly becoming used to Ava’s non sequiturs in conversation. 

In the kitchen, Ava set a massive, wicker box in front of Beatrice. “Take your pick.” She smiled, turning back to the coffee machine. The box was full of tea, different varieties, both bagged and loose. After a moment of deliberation, Beatrice chose one of the loose blends. “Good choice.” Ava whispered from over her shoulder. 

A few minutes later, Ava provided her a tea cup and a pot of tea. Like nearly everything in Ava’s life, they didn’t match. They sat across from one another, watching the rain soak the backyard. Mentally, Beatrice made note of how Ava took her coffee - for future reference. 

“I have to go into work today, but I’d like to do this again.” Beatrice said finally, feeling less nervous around Ava than she had the night before. Something about sharing a warm morning beverage in pajamas has a way of bringing two people closer. 

“As would I.” Ava looked outside for a moment longer, before meeting Beatrice’s eye. “Although I’d be lying if I said I didn’t also have a pile of work waiting for me.” 

Beatrice made it to work, albeit an hour late, and wearing the same clothes she had worn the day prior. At the door, she was stopped by the building’s head of security. 

“Beatrice, do you have a moment?” 

“Is it important? I’m already late.” Beatrice told her kindly.

“I’m afraid it is. Lilith is on her way down to my office as we speak.” 

“Alright. Thank you, Mary.”

In Mary’s office, she sat beside Lilith, who gave her a curious and suggestive once over. Beatrice only rolled her eyes, knowing that the questions would come later. 

“Here’s a list of everyone who worked on the prototype that exploded.” Mary slid a sheet of paper across the desk. “Here is a list of everyone who’s worked on the new device.” A second sheet of paper joined the first. 

“There’s no overlap.” Beatrice observed at once. 

“There’s only two realistic possibilities, then.” Lilith added quietly. 

“Three, actually.” Mary was an imposing presence, but Lilith and Beatrice both trusted her implicitly. “I could be the one doing it, then feeding you false information.” 

“Would you have just admitted that if it  _ was  _ you?” Beatrice smiled at her, knowing Mary would do nothing of the sort, but appreciating her candor all the same. 

“Realistically, either our saboteur hasn’t had the chance to attack the new engine, or there’s more than one.” Lilith whispered, as she weighed the various theories in her mind. 

“What’s more likely?” Beatrice asked, looking between Lilith and Mary. 

“I know which one I  _ want  _ it to be.” Lilith sounded hopeful, but ultimately realistic. 

“Hold on a minute.” Mary instructed, hitting a button under her desk. Hidden speakers around the room began emitting white noise, rendering the rest of their conversation inaudible. 

Before Ava could work, she called Camila. “Hi, it’s me!” Ava nearly shouted into the phone, the moment she heard Camila pick up.

“I know that.” Camila couldn’t help but laugh. “How was your date last night?” 

“She spent the night.” 

“What?!” It was Camila’s turn to yell. 

“In separate rooms, though.” Ava added, savouring Camila’s reaction. 

“Wow, funny.” 

“We got back really late and I didn’t want her to drive all the way back into the city. So she stayed.” Ava explained further.

“Did you kiss, at least?” Camila, at least partially, was living vicariously through Ava’s love life at the moment. 

“No.” Ava chuckled. “We held hands, though.” 

“Oh my  _ God.  _ I’ve had molasses that moves faster than you.” 

“Excuse me? I don’t judge you!” Ava replied jokingly. 

“Are you going to see her again?” Camila asked after a moment’s pause. 

“Most likely.” 

“Please tell me that you’re planning on getting some work done, first?” Camila sighed, hating having to pressure Ava into working faster. “I can only keep the publisher off your back for so long.” 

“I know. I’m sorry.” Ava took a deep breath. “I’ll get you  _ something  _ by the end of the week. Okay?” 

“Thank you. And Ava?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Am I going to get to meet this Beatrice?” Camila wondered, understandably curious. 

“If you’re nice, maybe.” Ava replied, with a laugh.

“Don’t even start with me.” Camila chuckled, before adding, “Now get some work done!” Then, she hung up, leaving Ava alone with her racing thoughts. 

Without thought, she routinely made breakfast, before setting up her desk. A massive stack of notebooks sat adjacent to her computer. It was overwhelming already. With a second cup of coffee, however, Ava had just the motivation she needed to start her work. For hours, she digitised her notes and began working on her newest project. Beyond her thoughts of Beatrice and away from her work, there was something nagging her. Ava couldn’t place the feeling until she read a note from one of her worst days in recent memory.

_ Something fundamental is missing. A piece of my heart, a piece of my soul. What it is, I may never know. A broken mirror stands in my place, a shattered reflection. There is no peace here. _

Between that, and her conversation with Beatrice the night prior, Ava knew exactly what was plaguing her. With bounding steps, she ran upstairs, nearly falling in the process. From underneath her bed, she withdrew an old and dusty wooden box. At that moment, her demeanor changed from manic hurry, to sacred remembrance. 

Gently, she unclasped the box’s clips and lifted the lid with a creak. This was all that Ava had left of her parents. It’d been years since she had looked through any of it. There were several photos of her and her parents, still wrapped in envelopes from when they had been developed. Setting these aside, Ava dug into the dustier contents of the box. Her hands shook as she withdrew the photo that was on top of the small pile. In front of a massive machine, her parents stared back at her from the past. They were smiling, in triumph. When Ava flipped the picture over, searching for any information about it, she exhaled sharply. Whatever had been printed there had since been redacted. 

Ava felt sick. Underneath the photo, there was a yellowed folder, stuffed thick with documents. She carefully lifted it out and flipped it open. Like the photo, most of the information on the page was redacted. Her parents' first names, a few scientific terms, and a classified stamp were all she could read. Turning through the other documents only revealed more of the same. She closed her eyes and tried to remember her parents, but she had no conscious memory of them being involved in anything clandestine. In fairness though, she was quite young when they died, it was more than likely she wouldn’t have never known. It wasn’t as though she had any family members to ask. 

Underneath the folder, there were several scattered photos lining the bottom of the box. In addition, there were two rolls of undeveloped film and her father’s watch. She removed the film canisters, with the intent of getting them developed. Shakily, she held the watch, which had long since stopped ticking. The face of it was cracked now, but Ava vaguely remembered her dad wearing it. 

Finally, she tenderly removed the last few photos. Her parents looked much younger in these, younger than she had ever seen them. In several of the pictures, her parents stood together in a desert with no recognisable features behind them. Ava had almost given up on finding anything else, but the last photo caught her eye. Her mom was surrounded by tools and machinery, on top of what looked like a plane. Unlike any plane Ava had ever seen, however, it was tiny and oddly geometric. 

She could hear her heartbeat in her ears as she stared at the documents. Despite her best efforts, the panic was uncontrollable. The logical part of her mind was adamant that this meant nothing, or at least, nothing bad. Most likely, her parents were talented scientists, working on something for the government. Nothing bad, nothing scary. Just classified. Over and over again, Ava tried to convince herself of this as she hyperventilated on the floor. 

Eventually, she managed to crawl into the bathroom and drag herself up to the sink. Ava splashed water onto her face and desperately tried to force a full breath into her lungs. Her entire body trembled as she gripped onto the counter with preternatural force. She almost felt as though she were on the edge of remembrance, importance just out of reach. 


	8. False Freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava tries to run from her fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> s/o to my wife, who i send every chapter, then i make her send me detailed feedback

_ I must rely on the unknown for my salvation.  _

Ava sat in the driver’s seat of her rusty Ford Bronco, her backpacking gear haphazardly thrown in the back. The panic proved to be too much, and she found herself running away. Typical, she chastised herself. While it had been a long time since she had resorted to this type of escapism, upon being confronted with adversity, Ava found herself returning to old habits. Camila would be angry, of course, but Ava had at least sent her a text this time. 

Ava:  _ Cam, dealing with something. Couldn’t cope. Went bush. Back in a few days.  _

Camila read Ava’s text in a moment. She was simultaneously frustrated and worried. This wasn’t Ava’s first time running away, not even close, but Camila had every right to be worried. Most importantly, Ava was her best friend. Her best friend who had quite the knack for attracting danger. Meanwhile, both Ava’s publisher and editor were nagging Camila daily. Deadlines were fast approaching, and Camila didn’t know when Ava would be back. Against her better judgement, she decided to make a phone call. 

“Greentech Propulsion Labs, how may I help you?” One of the receptionists answered, her voice kind and chipper. 

“Hi, this is a bit of a longshot, but I need to talk to Beatrice. It’s urgent.” Camila knew she had no right to be calling and asking for one of the lab’s lead scientists… But it was one of her only options. At the very least, she needed to rule out Beatrice’s involvement in Ava’s sudden vanishing act. 

“I’m sorry, it’s against our policy to put you through to our science team without proper credentials.” 

“Please!” Camila sighed, hating to do this, but knowing it would work. “I’m with Ava Silva’s team. She’s doing research for a new book. She and Beatrice met at the Innovation Conference, I am just setting up a meeting for them.”

“I understand.” The receptionist paused. “Let me put you on hold and see if she’s available.” 

“Thank you.” Camila waited for the woman to return.

“Call for you.” One of the junior scientists found Beatrice in the lab and handed her the phone. 

“Hello?”

“Hi Beatrice. Sorry to disturb your work. There is a woman calling from Ava Silva’s staff, apparently she’d like to set up a meeting with you? She mentioned it was urgent.” 

“Put her through.” Beatrice instructed kindly. 

“One moment.”

“Hello?” Beatrice asked again, hearing the call go through.

“Hi. This is Camila. Ava’s publicist and friend. Sorry, I know this is weird. But did you and Ava have a fight last night? Or did anything seem off?” Camila couldn’t disguise the urgency in her voice.

“Wait? What?” Beatrice hurried into her office, as Lilith gave her a discerning look. 

“Sometimes…” Camila sighed. “I know you’re busy, but Ava has… Sort of disappeared. She normally only does that when she’s upset.” 

“We had a great time. As far as I know. She seemed happy. Should I be worried?” Beatrice’s heart was pounding against her chest.

“Mhm…” Camila drummed her fingers against the desk. “Thank you. Sorry for bothering you, I just needed to know. At the very least, to rule out a possibility.” 

“Okay…” Beatrice exhaled sharply. “Can I send you my personal number? In case you need anything?”

“Of course. It’s probably nothing, Ava’s done this before… But we have deadlines coming up.” Camila replied, dejected. 

“She has?” 

“Creatives, am I right?” Camila tried to joke but it fell flat. “She can be flighty sometimes. Less so lately, but here we are.” 

“Please text me if you hear anything.” Beatrice told her, before they exchanged numbers and ended the phone call.

_ There is no escape from what plagues my mind. Yet the fog beckons, a false hope.  _

Ava plodded through the thick mud, running from the inescapable. She felt hopeless and frustrated. Of course she knew this journey wasn’t going to solve her problems, but maybe,  _ maybe  _ it would help clear her mind. So onwards she walked, sinking slightly in the mud, as the rain quickly soaked through her clothes. 

Beatrice returned to her work in the lab, although her focus was completely broken. Lilith eyed her curiously before speaking. 

“Want to tell me what’s going on with you?” She asked as she screwed two small components together. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Beatrice knew the deferral was pointless, Lilith would see right through her. 

“You wore that outfit yesterday. Did you go home last night?” Lilith cut to the point. 

“Honestly, no. But don’t make assumptions, it’s not what you think.” 

“Hm… Sure.” 

“Seriously. It was late, so I spent the night. Separate rooms.” Beatrice explained, wondering if that made it worse or better. 

“What was the phone call about?” Lilith followed up.

“It’s complicated.”

“We don’t have time for  _ complicated _ right now.” 

“You think I don’t know that?” Beatrice didn’t mean to snap, but she was frustrated. And worried, and another emotion she couldn’t quite place. “There’s nothing I can do for the issue, anyhow.” She added, hating that it was true. While Beatrice didn’t know if the feeling was reciprocated, she felt oddly protective of Ava. 

“Then focus.” Lilith was clearly frustrated with Beatrice’s tone. “We have work to do.” 

And work they did. Hours passed and they barely moved. Lilith was installing the finicky mechanical pieces, while Beatrice soldered together the electrical components. Even with the slight tension between them, they were a fantastic team. By the early evening, they were nearly caught up to the original schedule. This was a miracle in itself. 

“I didn’t mean to be hard on you earlier.” Lilith whispered as she stood up, hands coated in engine grease. “It’s a stressful time, but that’s no excuse.” 

“I’m sorry too.” Beatrice sighed, grateful for the mature bond they shared in adulthood. Had they still been in college, this would have been a week-long fight. “There’s definitely… A lot going on.” Beatrice managed a tight smile, feeling like Ava as she did so. 

“If we get even a decent work day tomorrow, we’ll be caught up.” 

“Well, let’s get a good night's sleep then.” Beatrice told her, as they headed out of the building together. 

_ I am lured by the abyss, but it’s a false freedom. A devil’s promise, like the others that came before. _

Ava stood on the edge of a stony overlook, atop a steep cliff. In the stormy weather, the ocean raged below her, angry foam atop the water. Her heart ached as she sat down, fully exposed, since there was no escape from the weather. Had her parents been part of something awful? Something nefarious? Ava was  _ certain  _ that she needed to know, but much less clear on how to find those answers. It’s not as if one can call up the federal government, only to ask about classified projects and who worked on them. Beyond that, Ava was scared. There was something in her memory, something she couldn’t quite place. It was taunting her, making her sick. 

Beatrice sat in her car, still parked in the parking garage. She’d been there for several minutes, trying to calm herself down enough to drive home. All day, she felt as though she had a mask on. Now, in private, the mask crumbled, allowing a fresh wave of panic to envelop her. With shaky fingers, she keyed out a message to Camila. 

Beatrice:  _ Any news? The weather is terrible. I’m out of work now, so if you need anything, I’m there.  _

Camila:  _ Nothing yet. I would try not to worry yet, although I know it’s hard. She’s more than capable of making it back safely… _

Beatrice:  _ There’s something you’re not saying.  _

She knew the message was forward, perhaps too much so. But if Camila was used to dealing with Ava, then it was likely that nothing would phase her. Beatrice felt so inexplicably protective and perhaps a touch guilty. Had she done something wrong yesterday, without even realising it? She hadn’t been gone for more than a few hours before Camila called her with the news. Or, was she self-centered for even thinking it had something to do with her? Before Beatrice could spiral any further, a text from Camila came through. 

Camila:  _ Ava can be… How do I put this? Moody sometimes. You haven’t known her long, but I’m sure you’ve noticed she’s a complicated woman. Not all of that is good. I know she has the skills to make it back, but I worry about the state of her mind.  _

Beatrice:  _ Is there anything I can do to help?  _

Camila:  _ I’m afraid not.  _

Two days passed. Neither of them heard from Ava, although Beatrice and Camila had started texting near constantly. Still, Beatrice managed to help Lilith catch up on the prototype engine. So much so, that she suggested they go out for lunch. A rarity, to be sure, but celebration was in order. Since Camila had been stressing out alone, Beatrice invited her to lunch as well. Soon, the three of them were gathered in a trendy little spot, buried in downtown. 

“Hi, it’s nice to finally meet you. At least, properly.” Camila said, giving Beatrice a surprise hug. “You must be Lilith?” She asked, turning to Beatrice’s friend and extending her hand.

“I… I am.” Lilith stuttered slightly as she shook Camila’s hand. Beatrice shot her a sly look, not used to hearing Lilith get flustered. 

“Ava’s told me a lot about you.” Beatrice began once they were seated. 

“All good, I hope?” Camila shot back with an enchanting grin. 

“For the most part.” Beatrice joked. “Just kidding, of course. She speaks highly of you. Says her life would literally fall apart if it weren’t for you.” 

“I wish that was hyperbole, but it’s likely true.” 

“Where is Ava?” Lilith asked once she had found her voice again. “Why isn’t she joining us?” 

_ Tricked by your beauty, enticed by your kindness. This cannot be a home for me.  _

A day ago, Ava had decided to return home. The weather, however, didn’t necessarily agree with that decision. She’d be stranded on the wrong side of a small inlet, created by flooding. Crossing it would have been dangerous, so she had no choice but to spend another night in the wilderness. Cold, alone, and beyond muddy. This morning, the water had subsided enough to cross it, although now she was flirting with hypothermia. It was still several miles back to the car, but Ava pressed on. She had sorted out her thoughts, enough at least. More than anything, despite their relatively short time spent together, Ava  _ craved  _ a conversation with Beatrice. An unknown force drove her towards the woman she barely knew, as if Beatrice had the answers to all the questions that plagued her. 

It was long dark before Ava made it to the Bronco. Feeling triumphant, she climbed into it, turning the heat on full blast. For several minutes, she sat in ecstasy, in mechanical warmth. Her phone was still in the glovebox, although it had died. Thankfully, the portable charger that Camila had given her was fully charged. Within a minute, her phone was on and buzzing mercilessly.  _ 103 unread messages.  _

Guilt smashed through her chest. Ava chastised herself once more, then ten times more. She needed to stop being so  _ fucking  _ selfish. There were people who cared about her, namely Camila. It was unfair to keep disappearing like this. She sighed, resigning herself to the guilt, and scrolled through the messages. Unsurprisingly, most of them were from Camila. A solid handful, however, were from Beatrice. With half frozen fingers, Ava typed out a message to each of them. 

Ava:  _ Cam, I’m sorry. I know you were worried. Stormy weather made it really hard to get back. I will fill you in soon. I promise. I’m sorry again for worrying you. Plus side, I’ve written down some new stuff and I have a ton of new ideas. Okay, driving home now. Sorry again, love you.  _

Ava:  _ Beatrice, I’m sorry if I worried you. I’m okay now. _

After several more minutes of warming up in the car, Ava was about to leave, when her phone buzzed next to her. Beatrice had replied, sending only an address. An apartment in the city. It seemed as though Ava wasn’t headed home just yet.


	9. Secrets Revealed?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava returns... home?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can literally write anything in your authors notes, it doesnt matter

_ 18 Years Ago:  _

“We can’t sit idly by while our work is used to claim innocent lives!” She felt her voice raise into a shout. With a cautious glance towards Ava and her husband, she shut the door between them. Her hand gripped the phone with tremendous force, her knuckles had long since gone white. 

“I told them you’d say that…” The voice on the other end was slightly staticky. “But we only have so much power here.”

“My husband and I will only continue working on this project if our terms are met. Otherwise, you can find another team.” 

“Consider your family here, please. You’d be separated from the consequences of your actions. The potential bonuses are especially lucrative.” The man on the phone told her. 

“I am considering my family. These are human lives you’re talking about! Separated from the consequences or not, it doesn’t matter! How could you even say that?” Her hands were shaking as she spoke. “Our original agreement has to stand, or we walk off the job. Not only that, I’ll go public.” 

On the other side of the door, Ava sat on her father’s lap. “Why is mommy yelling?” 

“We…” He sighed, unsure of how to explain the complications at work to his young daughter. “We’re working on a secret project at work, but our boss wants to change what it’s used for.”

“A secret project?” Ava perked up. “Does it have a cool code name?” 

“Not a cool one, I’m afraid.” Despite the tension in the air, he laughed. “Just a series of numbers.”

“You should call it: secret project… X!” Ava giggled and made the shape on an X with her hands. 

“I’ll have to pass that along to the boss.” He told her with a kind smile. 

“You should.” Ava whispered, sliding to the floor to continue playing. Her father watched her for another several minutes, while eavesdropping on the phone call in the other room. Desperately, Ava’s father wished he could stay in the moment - live perpetually in that bubble of time.

_ Present Day: _

The Ava that showed up at Beatrice’s door that night was not the Ava she knew. Muddy water dripped from her clothes and onto the floor, and she was shaking heavily. Beatrice only stared at her for a moment, at the hollow woman that stood before her. 

“Wait just one second, I’m going to get you a towel.” Beatrice instructed, before running off into the other room. Ava did as she was told. 

A moment later, Beatrice returned, her arms full of towels. She laid a few of them on the floor inside the doorway and gestured for Ava to come in. Wrapping the remaining towels around Ava, Beatrice held her tightly. 

“Sorry for worrying you.” Ava whispered hoarsely. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Beatrice breathed, still clutching the shivering woman. 

On Beatrice’s orders, Ava showered and changed into a pair of Beatrice’s pajamas. Meanwhile, Beatrice threw Ava’s muddy, wet clothes into the washing machine. While she waited, she brewed a pot of tea, setting out a mug for each of them.

“Do I look smart in this MIT shirt?” Ava asked suddenly, appearing from down the hallway. Beatrice smiled, she now looked more like the Ava she knew. 

“Absolutely.” Beatrice gestured towards the table, fresh tea steaming from each cup. 

“I’m sorry again.” Ava told her once they were both seated.

“Is it something I did?” Beatrice knew that the thought could be seen as selfish, given their short courtship, but she needed to know. 

“No.” Ava replied simply. “You were… Are lovely.” 

“What is it then?” Beatrice wouldn’t be put off from her answer, feeling protective once again. 

“I…” Ava paused and took a grateful sip of tea while she composed her thoughts. “I was freaked out about something that I found. Something that I  _ remembered.  _ And it’s funny, because while I was out in the woods, all I wanted was to talk to you about it. But now that I’m here? I’m nervous. Again.” Ava explained, avoiding eye contact. 

“Why?” 

“You’re really going to just make me say it, aren’t you?” Ava smiled, although it didn’t reach her eyes. “I know we haven’t spent that much time together, but I feel oddly… Drawn to you. And you’re so  _ distracting! _ That’s not your fault, of course, but it’s been disrupting my work. I’ve spent years creating worlds in my mind, but now…” 

“I understand.” Beatrice worked hard to keep her tone even. “I feel the same.” 

“Well, that’s good to hear!” Ava laughed, finally meeting Beatrice’s gaze. 

“Now tell me why you left.” 

“I need you to promise that you won’t think I’m insane when I tell you.” 

“I promise.” Beatrice extended a hand and they shook on it, the sudden touch lighting them both on fire. 

“I think my parents were killed by the government. Or a secret organisation? I’m not sure  _ who,  _ but I really think they were killed.” 

“Why?” Beatrice asked for the second time. 

“After I told you about it on the ferry, their  _ alleged _ car crash…” Ava shook her head, as if to reset her thoughts. “It got me thinking about them again. After you left in the morning, I looked through the things I have left from them. Which isn’t much, granted, but it’s all that the social worker saved for me that day.” Ava looked down, a single tear slipping down her face as she remembered the aftermath of their death in a way she hadn’t in years. Beatrice reached across the table, squeezing Ava’s hand. 

“There was a photo of them, two actually. With weird machinery, and redacted information. Plus, a thick folder from… Well, I don’t know. Some agency, I guess. Nearly all of that information was redacted too.” Ava explained, hoping Beatrice wouldn’t think she was crazy. “I remembered a few scraps of an overhead conversation, something about consequences and lives? I can’t recall the details, but I know my parents were upset by it. They tried to shield me as best as they could.”

“I have…” Beatrice stopped, realising that she had to choose her words very carefully. “I have a few contacts with government connections. I can’t promise anything, but I could ask around.” 

“You can do that?” Ava’s eyes were wide.

“I can try.” Beatrice smiled, happy to know there was at least a chance she could help. 

“Thank you.” Ava leaned back in her chair, the exhaustion in her body more than obvious. “Thank you for not thinking I’m crazy. I know… I know I shouldn’t just disappear when… Well, I’m sorry.” She stuttered despite her best efforts not to.

“It’s okay, really.” Beatrice whispered.

“So… How are you?” Ava chuckled. 

“I’m okay. Better now that I know you’re safe. I met Camila properly while you were gone.” 

“Isn’t she lovely?” 

“She is. She called the lab because she was worried about you and we got lunch earlier today. Lilith came too.” Beatrice told her. 

“Worlds collide. I’m surprised she called you. Normally, she wouldn’t be that worried so soon…” Ava trailed off as the familiar feeling of guilt gnawed at her. 

“I think she thought you and I fought?” Beatrice laughed. “Is it so hard to accept that someone might care about you?” 

“No… Yes?” Ava looked at Beatrice for several seconds, her expression enigmatic. “I don’t know.” 

“I see.” Beatrice matched Ava’s eyes. 

“It’s all worth it to see how you live, though.” Ava added, changing the subject in her usual fashion. “Very modern, very cool.” 

In fairness, Beatrice’s apartment was everything that Ava’s house wasn’t. There wasn’t a single item out of place and the colour scheme was monochromatic. Clean lines defined the space, sharp edges and reflective surfaces. A large bookshelf filled most of the living room, but unlike Ava’s, it was neatly stacked with engineering texts. Sure, there were also some books about physics, but it wasn’t an explosion of classic literature. 

“Is it?” Beatrice glanced around, suddenly self-conscious. 

“It is.” Ava answered resolutely. “Wait, what?!” Ava jumped from her seat, having seen something on Beatrice’s bookshelf that caught her attention. “What is this?” She asked excitedly, holding up a thick book. It’s cover bore the following title:  _ Practical Applications of Propulsion Technology for a Greener World.  _

“You’re not the only published author around here.” Beatrice laughed, although she was slightly embarrassed. 

“Woah…” Ava breathed as she flipped through the book. “I don’t understand any of this.” 

“It’s not that interesting.” Beatrice humbled her work.

“It is! I just don’t have a mind for this sort of thing.” Ava rejoined her at the table. “It’s awesome! Your work makes the world a better place.”

“I don’t know if I’d go that far…” 

“I would.” Ava was steadfast if nothing else. 

“I appreciate the confidence you have in me.” Beatrice felt like she’d known Ava for years at that moment, an indescribably closeness between them.

“I do what I can.” Ava quipped with a wide grin. “I can’t believe you and Camila went to lunch without me.” Ava crossed her arms. “I’m kind of jealous.”

“We could always do it again?” 

“I’d like that.” 

“You know what was odd, though?” Beatrice had initially planned on keeping this to herself, but she felt compelled to tell Ava. 

“What?” 

“I’ve known Lilith for several years now, but I’ve never seen her get as flustered as she was while speaking to Camila. She barely talked the entire time and stuttered when she did.” 

“Interesting…” Ava wore a coy smile as she drummed her fingers against the table. 

“I thought so as well.”

“You know what we should do?” 

“What?” Beatrice could only imagine what Ava had in mind, her tone was mischievous. 

“Okay, consider. We say that we will meet them for lunch, but both of us are  _ mysteriously late  _ and they have to sit and talk to each other.” Ava presented her idea energetically, with excited hand gestures. 

“Oh, that’s evil!” Beatrice smiled at Ava’s plan. 

“I know, but… I really want to do it now.” 

“I’m in.” 

“Really?” Ava looked at her in disbelief. 

“Why not?” Beatrice chuckled. “Lilith could stand to loosen up a bit. It’ll be good for her.”

“And  _ I’m  _ the evil one?” 

“Yes.” Beatrice answered quietly, giving Ava’s hand a squeeze as she did so. 

They talked for another hour, before Beatrice forced Ava to bed. It was obvious that she’d barely slept on her woodland adventure, but she was a stubborn woman. 

“You only have one bed, I don’t want to be a burden to you. I can drive home, no problem!” Ava argued.

“No. Although I seem to recall a similar situation occurring only a few nights ago.” Beatrice smiled as she remembered their first uninterrupted date. 

“I can sleep on the couch then, okay?” Ava offered.

“Honestly, Ava!” Beatrice’s voice had an edge of frustration. “You’ve been basically sleeping in the mud for two days. Take the bed. You deserve it.” 

“That was my own doing.” Ava replied. “I don’t want to argue about this.”

“Fine, fine.” Beatrice threw her hands in the air, albeit without anger. “At least let me get you a few blankets.” 

“I’ll allow it.” Ava joked. 

Within moments of Beatrice making up the couch, Ava was fast asleep. It was almost comical how quickly she found slumber. Beatrice smiled at the sight, while folding Ava’s clothes, fresh from the dryer. It was late, but she needed time to calm down before she could sleep herself. What Ava had told her had shaken her to the core, although she kept her thoughts hidden as Ava laid out the information. 

Once she was sure that Ava was asleep, she slipped into her own bedroom and got ready for bed. She was procrastinating the call she needed to make, desperate for any distraction. As Beatrice laid in bed, however, she knew it was unavoidable. From memory, she dialed the number. Within three rings, Mary’s ragged voice answered - it was obvious that she had been asleep. 

“Beatrice? This had better be important.” Mary told her, doing little to disguise her annoyance. 

“We have a problem.” Beatrice stated simply. Her heart ached as she spoke, filled with hope that Ava could forgive her. 


	10. Keeping Up Appearances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone keeps their cards close to their chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tacos <3

Ava didn’t stir until nine-ish the next day. As her vision swam into focus, her eyes fell upon a note that had been left on the coffee table. Beside it, was her clothes from the night prior, freshly laundered. She smiled, realising where she was. It felt as though a weight had been lifted. Of course, she was still plenty freaked out about her parents. But, being able to talk to Beatrice about it, as well as learning Beatrice’s feelings towards her made Ava grin all the same. Gently, she unfolded the note, revealing Beatrice’s ornate handwriting. 

_ Ava, _

_ I had to go into work, sorry I couldn’t be there when you woke up. Help yourself to whatever you need. Also, calling Camila might not be a bad idea. She was really worried.  _

_ \- Beatrice _

She embraced the warm hug of guilt as she rose from Beatrice’s couch. At home, she would have left the couch how it was. Instead, Ava took the time to neatly fold each blanket, setting them in a stack. Quickly, Ava changed back into her clothes, grateful to be wearing them without the mud now. Upon wandering into the kitchen, Ava found a second gift from Beatrice, as well as another note. 

_ I also made muffins. They’re banana and chocolate chip. Hope that’s okay.  _

Ava chuckled slightly, pulling one of them from the tray. Like everything Beatrice did, they were perfect. She nearly moaned at the deliciousness. While she ate a second muffin, Ava tried to figure out how to use Beatrice’s coffee maker. Like everything else in her apartment, it was futuristic and metal. Ava was more of a chemex kind of gal, a coffee purist. After a few minutes, she gave up the pursuit and made a cup of tea instead. Mentally, she made a note to introduce Beatrice to a better method of making coffee. On the back of Beatrice’s note, Ava scrawled her own message in response. 

_ All muffins are MORE than okay. These were delicious. Thank you. And thank you for taking me in from the rain last night. I know I dropped a lot on you, sorry. I’m doubly sorry for worrying you.  _

_ \- Ava (P.S. I was going to write a poem here instead, but I thought it would be pretentious) _

As Ava headed out to her car, she called Camila. It would be unfair to put her off any longer. With a deep breath, Ava pressed Camila’s contact in her phone. She answered almost immediately. 

“Ava, I swear to  _ God. _ ” Camila was frustrated, but relieved. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“I know you are!” Camila exhaled sharply, audible through the receiver. “I was worried about you.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Ava repeated her apology. “Why though? This isn’t our first rodeo.”

“I… I’m not sure. I have a bad feeling, I guess. In my soul.” Camila admitted. 

“That’s deep.” Ava laughed, trying to lighten the tension between them.. “Maybe you should be the writer around here.” 

“I’m going to have to be if you can’t meet the rapidly approaching deadlines.” 

“I have nearly enough to send in, actually.” Ava retorted, a half truth at best. 

“Really?”

“Really.” Ava committed to the lie. “So, we should celebrate. Lunch?”

“Today? Do you want to invite your… Lady friend?” Camila giggled on the other end. 

“Lady friend? Really?” Ava paused. “Do you want to bring yours?” 

“Don’t even start with me.” 

“I’m going to take that as a yes. Text me an address!” Ava hung up before Camila could protest. 

With a grin, Ava started her car. Since Beatrice was kind enough to wash her clothes, she didn’t need to stop home. Instead, she headed to the library, in desperate search of somewhere quiet to work. She had to get done everything she had promised Camila was already complete. Of course, she stopped for two coffees along the way. 

At the library, she flipped open her notebook. While her trip had been a poor decision, she had figured out the rest of her story. With a rapid hand, she scrawled out a quick outline. Most of the pages were splattered with mud, but still legible, thankfully. Ava’s computer was still at home, though, so she’d have to hand write all of her ideas today. 

_ It is on the brink of despair that we often find ourselves. Perhaps that sounds cryptic, or obvious. When pushed to the absolute limit, the breaking point, when one truly suffers - this is freedom. But freedom has a cost. To become unbound, truly, one has to dissolve their bonds with the familiar. With what’s comfortable. Most aren’t willing to pay this toll.  _

Before Ava could continue, her phone vibrated, interrupting her train of thought. It was Camila, texting her an address to a restaurant for lunch. With a smile, Ava replied to her first, then texted Beatrice. 

Ava:  _ Hey, sorry for not waking up sooner. Was tired I guess. Lunch today? With Camila? And maybe Lilith too? _

Ava:  _ Great muffins by the way. _

Beatrice:  _ I’ll try. Busy day, but I think we can sneak out.  _

At GPL, Beatrice smiled down at her phone, before turning to Lilith. “Do you want to get lunch today?”

“Two days in a row? What’s gotten into you?” Lilith replied as she worked. 

“Is it so wrong for me to want to celebrate? We’ve caught up to schedule, somehow. It’s a miracle.” 

“I wouldn’t go that far. This is science.” Lilith answered roughly, her brow furrowed as she spoke. 

“Camila will be there.” Beatrice whispered, hoping to get a reaction out of Lilith. Which she did. Lilith’s face immediately softened at the mention of the curly haired publicist. 

“Really?” 

“Yes, really. Ava just texted me.” 

“Okay, I’ll come.” Lilith tried to keep her tone neutral, but Beatrice could read her like a book. 

“That was easy.” She laughed, turning back to her own work. 

A few hours later, the four of them gathered for lunch. Ava was the last to arrive, unsurprising. 

“Sorry, sorry I’m late!” She told them as she entered the restaurant. “But I come bearing gifts.” Before she could say anything more, Camila wrapped her in a massive hug, which Ava returned. 

“You’re an idiot.” Camila told her. 

“I know.” Ava agreed, before turning her attention to Lilith. “Hi, I’m Ava.” 

“Lilith.” She replied, shaking Ava’s hand. 

At the table, Ava revealed her gifts. “I’ll admit, Lilith. We only just met, so I didn’t know what you might like. Since I didn’t want you to feel left out, though, I decided on this.” Ava set a fancy, wooden box in front of her, which Lilith timidly opened. Inside was a beautiful kitchen knife, made of folded steel. Oddly enough, Lilith loved it. 

“Thank you.” She whispered, surprised. 

“Anytime.” Ava laughed. “And for you, my dear Camila.”

Ava passed her a thick stack of papers, some of them stained with blood, or mud. Otherwise, they were crinkly with water damage and full of scribbled handwriting. 

“They’re messy, I know. But it’s something to send to the editor.” Ava grinned. 

“Thanks! Seriously!” Camila tucked the pages into her folder, genuinely grateful. 

“And for the ever lovely Beatrice.” Ava pulled a box from her bag with a flourish. “A better way to make coffee.” 

Inside the box was a chemex, Ava’s preferred method of brewing a cup of coffee. She could be a bit of a coffee snob sometimes. 

“Now, I don’t want to tell you what to do, but I think you should get rid of that horrid space machine you have.”

“You spend one night at my apartment and you think you are qualified to tell me how to make coffee?” Beatrice quipped, matching Ava’s smile. Both Camila and Lilith’s eyes grew wide at Beatrice’s unconscious admission. 

After the teasing had subsided, the four of them shared a surprisingly joyous lunch. Ava and Beatrice pretended not to notice as Camila slid Lilith her business card. Perhaps more pressingly, Beatrice acted naturally, as if her earlier conversation with Mary hadn’t happened at all. She didn’t  _ want  _ to lie to Ava, but she needed to be absolutely sure about… Well, everything. It was a dangerous game she was playing. 

Meanwhile, Mary was on the phone with an old friend. As she waited for the call to go through, she paced around her office, nervous about the potential implications. 

“Hey, it’s Mary.” She said urgently, as soon as she heard her contact pick up the phone. 

“Mary.” He stretched his greeting. “Long time no talk.” 

“Yeah, it’s been awhile.” Mary responded, gruffly. There was some history between them, not all of it good. 

“What do you need?” 

“Oh, Vin. Why do you assume I need something?” Mary tried to be sweet, but it was already too late. 

“Cut the shit, Mary. What’s up?” Vincent asked a second time. 

“I need to verify some information.” 

“There’s more to it than you’re telling me.” Vincent was a lot of things, corrupt and vindictive for starters, but he wasn’t stupid. 

“It’s classified. Real top level stuff.” Mary elaborated with a nervous breath. 

“We shouldn’t talk about this on the phone, then. You know better than that. How soon can you meet me?” Vincent spoke quickly.

“Whenever you’re ready.” Mary replied as her heart sped up. 

“Give me an hour. I’ll text you the address.” 

“Got it.” Mary hung up before Vincent had the chance to do the same to her. 

As promised, they met an hour later, and Mary was free to gather information about what Beatrice had told her. In a busy corner of the public market, they quickly shook hands and sat down. To any outside viewers, they would look like a pair of friends having lunch together. 

“What is it you’re after?” Vincent inquired the moment they sat down. He was never a fan of small talk. 

“I need information about something that might have happened.” 

“Might have?” He repeated. 

“Please. I know I’ll owe you a favour, or six, but it’s important.” Mary sighed. “There might be a threat from within. If there is, I need to know.” 

“I understand.” Vincent looked around, to ensure no one was eavesdropping on their conversation. “Alright. Tell me what you know.”

“Okay. Thank you.” Mary took a deep breath, trying to recall everything Beatrice had told her. “According to my source, there may have been a couple who worked on top secret research and development. Around 2000 or 2001.” 

“I’m going to need more information than that.” He told her, with an edge of frustration in his voice. 

“They both had the last name Silva. And they -”

“Hold on.” Vincent interrupted her. “As in Ava Silva? The writer?” 

“The very same” Mary continued on, realising that Ava’s status might make this harder. “They might have been working on energy tech, or some sort of aviation. Maybe both.” 

“What about them?” 

“I think they were killed.” 

“Killed, as in…?” Vincent prompted her for more information, although he was sure that he knew what Mary was going to say. 

“Killed as in… Ordered to be eliminated. For what reason, I’m not sure. Hell, I’m not even sure that they are connected to any of this. But I need to be. Can you help?” Mary knew she sounded slightly desperate, but she couldn’t help it. 

“I can.” 

“What will I owe you for the information?” Mary dreaded his answer.

“I’m not sure yet.” Vincent stood and offered her a slightly unnerving smile. “We’ll be in touch.”

“Alright.” Mary stood to join him. “I guess that’s the best I can hope for. Thank you.” 

“Anytime.” Vincent stalked off across the market, leaving Mary standing at the table. 

It was less than 24 hours before Vincent made good on his promise. Sometime in the middle of the night, a thin file was slid underneath the door to Mary’s apartment. When she woke up in the morning and began reading through it, she felt as though she could barely breathe. This was bad. 


	11. A Noble War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava learns several new things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't hate me yet

Ava sat at her kitchen table the next day, across from Beatrice. Between them, the thin file that Mary had  _ procured.  _

“Do I want to know how you got this?” Ava asked, impressed but nervous. 

“I’d prefer you didn’t ask.” Beatrice replied, unusually timid. She knew that there were mere moments left before the curtain would fall. There was information she had no way of knowing. Ava wasn’t stupid, she would figure it out. 

“May I?” Ava gestured to the file. 

“Yes. But…” Beatrice took a deep breath. “This is heavy stuff. Are you sure you’re alright?” 

“I am.” Ava didn’t hesitate, and flipped open the folder. Inside, there were two small photographs of her parents, likely those used for their ID badges. In addition, there were several files, blissfully unredacted. Each of them carried the same logo, an eagle bearing a shield. CIA.

Her hands shook as she read through the files. There was no denying now that her parents were part of… Something. Most of the documents were written in technical terms, which were beyond her level of understanding. 

“Beatrice, can you explain this to me in simple terms?” Ava whispered, sliding one of the files across the table. Beatrice scanned it quickly, before launching into an explanation. 

“Essentially, it explains what they were working on and what the technology could be used for. According to this, they were working on nuclear technology, a cleaner form of power generation. Although they had side projects, too. Your parents made several innovations in aviation as well.” 

“That doesn’t sound so bad.” Ava retained her hopefulness, a trait that Beatrice admired. 

“It says they also contributed some of the initial research into project designation: Hornet.” Beatrice added in a hoarse voice.

“I don’t know what this is.” 

“You shouldn’t, it’s classified.” Beatrice replied, knowing full well that her feelings for Ava would likely lead her to the truth. Even worse, they’d probably push Ava away from her. Yet, Beatrice knew she’d tell her anyhow, because she cared for Ava too much to lie any longer. 

“How do you know that?” Ava stared at her, putting together the pieces quickly, just as Beatrice had predicted she would. 

“I…” Just as Beatrice was going to finish her sentence, something caught her eye. “Ava.” Her voice was suddenly harsher, more panicked. “When I finish my sentence, I want you to throw yourself to the ground.” 

Ava did as she was told, scared by Beatrice’s sudden change. As she hit the floor, Beatrice flipped the kitchen table and pressed it against the wall. Both of them peaked above it; two men in suits had just climbed over the back fence and were headed for the house. Both of them were visibly armed. From within her blazer, Beatrice withdrew a small caliber pistol. Staying low to the ground, she reached for her bag and pulled out a second one, pressing it into Ava’s hand.

“Do you know how to use this?” Beatrice asked, doing little to disguise the urgency in her voice.

“I…” Ava was holding the gun between her thumb and forefinger, as though it was poisonous. “I have a lot of questions!” She said, in a whispered yell. 

“Now’s not really the time.” Beatrice replied as she snuck a look over the table. With practiced hands, Beatrice pulled back the slide on her gun and flipped the safety off. Ava did the same, albeit without any grace or precision. 

Just as Ava could hear the men’s footsteps sloshing through the mud, Beatrice popped up suddenly, firing two shots in quick succession, before ducking back down. Ava sat there, unmoving, unsure of what to do, when a bullet whizzed past. Then another. A third one flew between them, so close that Ava and Beatrice both felt the wind on their face. Without warning, Beatrice flew up again, firing another shot. 

“They’re dead, we need to move.” Beatrice instructed, grabbing Ava’s hand and pulling her into a standing position. 

“Not until you answer my questions!” Ava shouted, the adrenaline in her body throwing her into a fury. 

“I will, I promise. But not now, we need to get out of here.” Beatrice led Ava through the house and basically pushed her into the car. 

Beatrice drove silently for several minutes, leading them back into the city. In an odd way, it was safer. There were too many civilians milling about for an outright attack. At the harbour, Beatrice parked and dragged Ava from the passenger seat. Neither of them had spoken. As they walked through the crowds of tourists, Ava finally found her words. 

“Beatrice, what the  _ fuck  _ was that?” Ava was obviously angry, but she kept her voice low. 

“I…” Beatrice sighed. She knew her time was up. “I’m CIA.” 

“What?!” Ava’s disbelief was evident on her face. 

“Not… Not like that though. It’s complicated. There’s a lot of layers to this.” 

“And? Are you going to explain them to me?” Ava looked at her expectantly. Beatrice was quickly realising that she hated being on the receiving end of Ava’s anger. 

“Had we had time to read the entire file, you would have learned what happened to your parents. They were killed. By the CIA. Because they refused to allow their research and inventions to be used to make weapons. It was engineered to look like an accident, but it wasn’t.” Beatrice began. Her heart ached as she explained, a feeling that multiplied when she saw the tears in Ava’s eyes. 

“That’s noble of them.” Ava whispered, genuinely proud of the parents she’d barely known, barely remembered. 

“The CIA recruits a lot of scientists, especially young ones.” Beatrice continued, wishing that she didn’t have to. “Lilith and I were both recruited while we were still at university. Our primary objective is to develop tech in the public sphere, although we will occasionally be…  _ Assigned  _ to work on other, covert projects.”

“Please, Beatrice. Tell me you’re lying. Tell me this is some sick joke and you aren’t a part of the organisation that killed my only family.” Ava pleaded, tears running down her face now. 

“I’ve never worked on any of the weapons tech, at least not directly.” Beatrice told her, yet it felt hollow. Weak. “There is a schism that exists within the CIA. Two sides, if you will. I could get killed for telling you all of this, so please…” Beatrice felt herself choke up, but after a moment, continued speaking. “There is a side that genuinely works for the betterment of the world, such as the green technology that I spend most of my time on. There is another side, however, that plays a much darker game.” 

“Weapons development and warmaking. Got it.” Ava filled in the blanks. 

“Exactly.” Beatrice took a deep breath, although her lungs still felt starved. “In the past few years, though, it’s become violent. It’s become two organisations with opposing goals, fighting one another internally. Mary, who works on GPL’s security team, has been trying to find a way out for us. Once you sign your contract, though, they own you.”

“I don’t like where this is going.” Ava slid her hand into Beatrice’s, which she took as a good sign. A sign of comfort; kindness. 

“Mary is the one who got you the files on your parents. It seems that her acquisition of them has put us into the middle of this war.” Beatrice mumbled. She was making a few assumptions, sure, but it was the only logical conclusion that could be drawn. 

“Beatrice.” Ava said with gravel in her voice. She took both of Beatrice’s hands in her own.

In the middle of the busy sidewalk, the two of them stood silently for a moment, hands grasped tightly. Ava took a step closer, until their faces were inches apart. Beatrice could feel the warmth radiating from Ava’s body. It made her shudder. Without a word, Ava pressed her lips into Beatrice’s, an explosion between the two of them. A long overdue assurance of an understanding and attraction between them.

Ava broke away first, leaving a slightly surprised Beatrice still clutching her hands. 

“I can’t do this.” Ava rasped, barely audible.

“Do what?” Beatrice felt the burn of tears in her throat. 

“Watch someone I love die nobly, in a war they can’t win.” She paused and took in a shaky breath. “Goodbye, Beatrice.” Ava replied, before releasing Beatrice’s hands and walking away. 


	12. A Useful Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Information has a price. (this chapter is a bit violent, just a heads up).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have three endings in my head and im not sure yet which one i'll pick :)

_ A deal with the devil has poisoned my love. The writing was always on the wall, but she made me forget how to read. _

Ava ducked into an alleyway after walking away from Beatrice, desperate to hide the tears that slid down her face. In the relative privacy of the dark, the sobs came quickly. They wracked her body painfully as she doubled over. With shameless desperation, Ava wished she could run after Beatrice and kiss her a million times over. They could run away together, forget this all. Logically, Ava knew that couldn’t happen - wouldn’t happen. But that didn’t stop her from longing for it. 

With shaking hands, she retrieved her phone and called Camila. Thankfully, she answered quickly.

“Ava? What’s up?” 

“Where are you right now?” Ava rasped, betraying her emotional state in five words. 

“What’s wrong?” Camila’s tone instantly changed for the worst. 

“I don’t want to explain on the phone.”

“I’m at home.” Camila told her, with nervous curiosity. 

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Ava relayed a set of instructions. “Don’t go anywhere. Lock the door. Don’t open it unless it’s for me.” Then, Ava hung up, without explaining her reasoning.

Exactly 26 minutes later, Ava knocked on Camila’s door. “It’s me.” The door swung open a moment later. 

“You need to start explaining, now.” Camila told her, slightly angry but mostly scared. 

“Where do I even start?” Ava sat on Camila’s familiar couch. “Beatrice…” Before she could continue, a fresh wave of tears consumed her. Camila sat by her side, a gentle hand on Ava’s back as she cried. 

“Beatrice is CIA.” Ava choked out, causing Camila to freeze. She had expected this to be a simple break up, but it clearly wasn’t. 

“What?” Camila sounded as shocked as she looked. 

“She is CIA. One of the good ones, though, apparently. But she killed two people in my yard. Also, my parents were CIA too, although they were murdered by… Someone. Made to look like an accident.” Ava stuttered out a husk of an explanation. 

“I have a million questions.” Camila whispered, her mind racing. “Wait, you said she  _ killed  _ someone?”

“Two people.” Ava coughed out her words. “To be fair, I’m pretty sure they were there to kill us.”

“You’re being awfully calm about this.” Camila told her, surprised at Ava’s level of composure. 

“Believe me, I’m freaking out inside.” Ava looked up at her, eyes brimmed with tears. “But it’s as if my mind doesn’t know where to start. There is  _ so much  _ to be freaked out about.”

“Are we in danger?” Camila asked a fair question.

“I don’t know.” She pondered the question for a while. “It’s definitely a possibility.” 

“ _ Jesus Christ. _ ” Camila quickly stood up and crossed the room. From within one of her cupboards, she withdrew a hefty looking handgun. 

“Please,  _ for the love of God,  _ don’t tell me you’re CIA too.” Ava begged, with a look of fear in her eyes. 

“No. I’m not. But I am a woman living alone in a big city.” Camila handled the gun with surprising expertise, strapping a holster under her jacket. 

“Well, Beatrice gave me this.” Ava held up the small pistol. 

“Do you know how to use it?” 

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?” Ava mumbled as she looked down at the instrument of death in her hand. Even mentioning Beatrice’s name sent a shocking pain through her chest. Realistically, Ava knew that  _ should  _ be the least of her concerns, but her mind wasn’t working logically. 

“What’s our game plan here?” Camila’s words broke through Ava’s racing thoughts. 

“I…” Ava paused, drawing in a shuddering breath as she tried to calm down. “I have no idea… You’re really ready to just… I don’t know, do this?” 

“Ava. You’re my best friend. Ride or die, right?” Camila managed a tight smile, although it was obvious that she was freaked out. 

“Ride or die.” Ava echoed. 

_ The friends of my past are strangers to me now. What’s known is now lost, what’s loved is now dead. I am alone here. _

Beatrice watched Ava walk away, without turning around. She knew,  _ she knew,  _ that there was so much more to focus on. But deep down, all she wanted was for Ava to turn around. Once she was lost in the crowd, Beatrice stumbled over to a nearby bench and tried to catch her breath. She could still feel Ava’s touch on her skin, on her lips. It was a feeling that was already fading in the cold, yet Beatrice was desperate to hang on to it. Instead, she worked hard to compose herself. She needed to call Mary. 

“Who did you get the information from?” Beatrice snapped as soon as Mary answered.

“What’s gotten into you?” Mary was taken aback at Beatrice’s surprising tone. 

“Who?!” Beatrice yelled, causing several passersby to stare at her. 

“ _ Fuck,  _ Beatrice. You don’t need to shout. Vincent got me the file. Why?” 

“Why?” Beatrice repeated as she stomped towards her car. She was beyond angry, for more reasons that she was willing to divulge. “There was a hit out on me today. They came for me when I was at Ava’s house.” 

Mary didn’t reply right away, but Beatrice could hear her swear under her breath. “You don’t think that…” 

“If you have a more likely explanation, I’d love to hear it.” Beatrice had calmed slightly; this wasn’t Mary’s fault. 

“We are in trouble.” Mary whispered, as the gravity of their situation sunk in around her. “Who can we trust?” 

“Right now? Only each other.” 

“Where are y-” Mary began to ask, but then stopped. “Don’t answer that. Meet me at the bar we all had drinks at last Christmas party. I’ll call Lilith. Be safe.” 

“Got it. On my way.” Beatrice answered. A second later, the call disconnected. She was close by already, so Beatrice allowed herself a quick cry as she sat in the car. It was ugly and primal, she felt as though she was imploding. How could Ava say  _ that,  _ only to walk away? 

“Beatrice, what happened to you?” Lilith wondered, as they met several minutes later. “You look awful.” 

“We… I…” Beatrice found herself at a loss for words. “We don’t have time for this.”

“Agreed.” Mary added, although she gave Beatrice a sympathetic look. “It seems like we’ve poured a bunch of gasoline onto an already burning fire.” 

“Does anyone want to fill me in?”

“Long story short?” Beatrice turned to Lilith. “I asked Mary for a file related to Ava’s parents and she got from Vincent. It seems as though he’s…  _ Not an ally _ . A kill squad came for me at Ava’s house earlier, as I was going over the file with her.”

“What was the information you asked for?” Lilith responded, obviously already running through their options. 

“It was about Ava’s parents. In 2001, they were killed working on the Hornet project. It was made to look like an accident. Ava grew up thinking they died in a car crash.” Beatrice explained further, shivering as she said Ava’s name. 

“So your fraternisation with Ava is what got us into this mess?” Lilith bit, with a little too much venom for Beatrice’s comfort. 

“Hey.” Mary placed a hand on Lilith’s shoulder, trying to calm her. 

“Our prototype engine was also sabotaged, you don’t think that’s related?” Beatrice growled, until Mary placed herself between them.

“Enough, both of you. We’re all in danger now, with no one that we can trust other than each other. Whatever this is, figure it out. We don’t have time.” Mary spoke in hushed tones, her frustration palpable. 

“Alright.” Lilith acquiesced. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” Beatrice offered her a small smile. “This was an inevitable reality, I think. We’ve only accelerated the logical conclusion. Internal tensions have been growing for years.”

“That’s true.” Mary mumbled. “But we’ve accelerated everything without even a shadow of a plan. We need to find someone we can trust on the inside.”

“Does Vincent  _ know  _ that we know what he’s done?” Beatrice asked, suddenly, as her eyes lit up with the promise of an idea. 

“Oh, good thinking.” Lilith whispered, as Mary was still catching up on the plan.

“You think we can get information out of him?” Mary questioned, after a quick pause. 

“It’s certainly worth a shot.” Beatrice said, feeling slightly more hopeful about their prospects of survival than she had a moment before. 

“I can be… Very convincing.” Lilith added with a coy smile. 

“I’ll see what I can do.” Mary agreed, pulling out her phone. 

After a quick call, Vincent was on his way. Beatrice and Lilith formulated a sketch of a plan, while Mary waited in the alleyway behind the restaurant. Each of them was nervous, understandably, but they had a few things in their favour. Within an hour, Vincent had arrived, and it was time to put their plan to the test. No time for hesitation.

“Mary.” Vincent appeared from the shadows, likely on purpose. He was always a fan of a dramatic reveal. “I hope you’re not asking for another favour.”

“I’m not. Just wanted to chat.” Mary kept her face neutral. “Seems as though one of my own… Suddenly… _ Passed away  _ this afternoon.” 

“Well, I’m sorry to hear that.” He told her, without a hint of sincerity. 

“I was curious if you had anything to do with it.” Mary stated, already knowing the answer.

“Information has a cost.” Vincent told her, as he quickly withdrew his handgun. He didn’t hesitate to point it at Mary’s chest, the sound of him pulling back the hammer echoing through the alley. 

“Yet it seems as if I’ve already gotten my answer.” Mary smiled, unnerving Vincent slightly. 

“So it seems.” Vincent sneered. Just as he tensed to pull the trigger, Beatrice silently appeared behind him, cracking a board over his head. 

“Really left it to that last minute there, huh Beatrice?” Mary quipped as they dragged a slightly bloody and unconscious Vincent deeper into the maze of alleyways. 

“Trust your team.” Beatrice replied, with a hint of a grin. It seemed as though Ava’s poorly timed smiles had rubbed off on her, although the realisation made her sick. “But sorry, I was trying to find something heavy enough that would work.”

“Fair enough.” Mary agreed as she pocketed Vincent’s gun. 

By the time Vincent woke, he was cleverly restrained amongst the trash in the alleyway. “We don’t have a lot of time.” Mary began, standing over him with an intimidating presence. “So I’d appreciate your cooperation.” 

“Fuck you.” He rasped, spitting onto one of Mary’s shoes. “You’re on the wrong side in this.”

“For some reason, I don’t believe you.” Mary growled, placing a well-aimed boot into his rib cage.

“Do you want to answer me now?” Mary asked as he moaned in pain. 

“No.”

“That’s unfortunate.” Lilith whispered, as she moved to crouch in front of Vincent. From within her bag, she withdrew the knife that Ava had given her a couple days prior. At the mere sight of it, Beatrice felt her heart ache. 

With surprising grace, Lilith spun the knife around in her hand a few times. Vincent’s eyes widened slightly. She took his hand, extending it out across the rain soaked pavement. Forcibly, she extended his index finger.

“I think it’s time this piggy goes to the market, what do you say?” Lilith growled.

“You’re bluffing.” Vincent sputtered, trying to seem more confident than he was. 

“Try me.” She brought the knife down with shocking speed, separating Vincent’s finger from his hand. 

His cries of agony filled the alley, but no one appeared. A storm had rolled in around them; wails lost in the roaring thunder. 

“Are you ready to talk now?” Lilith inquired.

“Fuck… You…” He choked, maintaining his composure. 

“May I?” Beatrice reached towards the knife. She, more than anyone else, had great reason to be angry at Vincent. 

“Absolutely.” Lilith set the knife into Beatrice’s hand and took a step back. Truly, it was a mature friendship and teamwork they had cultivated over the years. 

Now Beatrice kneeled in front of Vincent. It was almost inconceivable that they had once been allies, friends even. Carefully, she placed the knife directly underneath his kneecap, with her other hand poised above the handle. 

“Who is pulling the strings? Who has corrupted you?” Beatrice questioned him with surprisingly serene calm. 

“Who do you think?” Vincent raised a bloodied eyebrow. 

“Wrong answer.” Beatrice told him simply, before driving her hand into the back of the knife, forcing it through his knee. He screamed terribly, almost hauntingly.  _ For Ava,  _ Beatrice thought. Sure, he’d almost killed her too, but that came with the territory.

“Adriel, it’s Adriel.” Vincent cried, his tone pitiful. 

“Thank you.” Beatrice wiped the blood from the knife, before passing it back to Lilith and standing up. 

“I’m surprised you’re here.” Vincent’s demeanour suddenly changed, as he looked up at her with an evil grin. “And not out protecting your…  _ Little writer girl. _ ” He spit, as Beatrice felt her blood turn to ice. 

“We need to go.” Beatrice told Mary and Lilith, with obvious panic in her eyes. 

“Agreed, she’s an innocent, even if you did drag her into this.” Lilith looked at Beatrice with compassion, despite the edge in her words.

“Well, we’ve got to go.” Mary looked down at Vincent. “Seems as though secrets  _ do  _ have a cost.” She whispered to him, before a single gunshot exploded through the alley. 


	13. Driving Forces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava and Beatrice share a long drive together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont even like glee

“Pick up, pick up, pick up.” Beatrice whispered into her phone as the rain soaked through her jacket. Mary and Lilith stood nervously behind her.

“Beatrice is calling me.” Camila told Ava as they sat in her living room. “Should I answer?”

“I don’t see why not?” Ava tried to keep her tone neutral, although her resolve was already failing. She was desperate to see Beatrice again - this  _ couldn’t  _ be the end. 

“Hello?” Camila answered the call, putting it on speaker, so Ava could listen in. 

“It’s me. I know… Well, I don’t know what Ava’s told you. But there’s bigger problems right now.” They could hear Beatrice suck in a breath. “You’re both in danger. Ava’s a loose end. My employer doesn’t like loose ends.”

“What do you suggest we do?” Camila was surprisingly calm, but Ava looked as though she might vomit on the carpet.

“We need to get out of town. For a few days, at least, until we can decide on a proper course of action. I… Hold on for a moment.” Beatrice requested, covering the receiver and turning to her friends. 

“Where can we go? None of the agency sanctioned safehouses would be, well, safe.” 

“None of our houses would be safe, either. Addresses are too easy to find.” Lilith added, feeling slightly overwhelmed already.

“I actually think I know a place.” Mary told them, without offering any other information. 

“Really?” Beatrice’s eyes were wide. 

“We all have secrets.” Mary told her quietly. Beatrice uncovered her phone and put it back to her ear. 

“Alright. We’ve got a plan.” Beatrice relayed this to Camila. “We can pick you up, but don’t tell us your address on the phone. I’ll try to find it on my own.”

“Actually, that might not be necessary.” Camila whispered as Ava’s eyes grew at the implication. 

“Why’s that?” Beatrice asked innocently, as Lilith’s face changed behind her.

“Lilith knows where I live.” Camila admitted. 

“Oh? Okay. We’ll be there soon.” While she was focused on the task at hand, she made a note to ask Lilith about that later. 

Lilith and Beatrice’s cars were both parked on the street nearby. They ran, with no pretense of calm, both of them popping the hoods open in near unison. GPL had installed trackers into each vehicle, in case they got stolen. This was unsurprising, though, considering that they prototypes built from unreleased technology. Within a minute, they had reattached the GPS devices to other nearby cars. Hopefully, this would buy them some time and throw off anyone who might be trying to follow them. 

Afterwards, Lilith and Mary drove to Camila’s apartment. Beatrice followed closely behind them, grateful for the few minutes alone. She was simultaneously terrified and excited to see Ava, Beatrice needed the time to compose herself. Still, they arrived too quickly. Beatrice parked next to Lilith, but didn’t get out of the car. 

“Are you coming in?” Lilith questioned her through the rolled down window.

“I’ll wait down here.” Beatrice replied quietly. Thankfully, Lilith didn’t question it. She and Mary headed to the door, hands kept close to their weapons. Just in case. Upon seeing Ava’s silhouette in the doorway, Beatrice stifled a gasp, feeling it die within her chest. This might be more difficult than she anticipated. 

“Are you ready to go?” Lilith asked Camila and Ava once they opened the door.

“We are. Yeah.” Camila answered, with the tiniest of smiles towards Lilith. 

“This is Mary, by the way.” Lilith gestured to the woman next to her. “She’s one of the good ones. 

“It’s nice to meet you Mary.” Ava extended a hand, as did Camila.

“Likewise, although we’ll have to continue these introductions later. We are on a tight schedule.” Mary instructed, already headed back to Lilith’s car. 

Ava stood for a moment, looking between the two vehicles. She could see the dark outline of Beatrice; that alone made her heart pound. Camila looked at her expectantly, curious to see which car she would choose. With nervous fingers, Ava tapped her hand against her leg, running through thousands of thoughts. Eventually, Ava headed towards Beatrice’s idling car, while everyone else climbed into Lilith’s.

“Hey.” Ava mumbled as she slid into the passenger’s seat. 

“You didn’t have to come in my car, you know.” Beatrice told her as she pulled away. “It’s going to be an hour’s drive at least.” 

“I know that. I chose this. I can switch, if you want.”

“No!” Beatrice answered too quickly, betraying herself. 

“I’m sorry.” Ava whispered a few minutes later, once they were out on the open road. 

“What?” Beatrice glanced at her, clearly confused.

“I said, I’m sorry.”

“I heard you. I don’t feel as though you are the one who should be apologising.” Beatrice explained. “If anything, I should be the one apologising to you.” 

“Then apologise.” Ava had a touch of venom in her voice. That was new.

“I’m sorry.” Beatrice felt a tear slip from her face. “I don’t know what else to say. I’ve barely been in a relationship at all… Our  _ situation  _ is unprecedented at best.”

“Relationship?” Ava echoed. 

“Well… It’s certainly something, isn’t it?” Beatrice paused and considered her next words carefully. “Why did you come with me?”

“If we’re both going to die, it might as well be together.” 

“We’re not going to die.” Beatrice told her, with absolute decisiveness. 

“I wasn’t lying, by the way.” Ava added in a murmur. 

“What?”

“Earlier. When we were at the harbour. Everything I said, I meant.” Ava explained, although she looked out the window.

Beatrice didn’t speak for several minutes after that. Ava  _ loved  _ her? Love? She had a mind that had tackled some of the greatest engineering problems of the modern era - yet she was stumped by this. 

“You love me?” Beatrice managed to choke out eventually.

“I do.” Ava finally looked at her. “Don’t seem so surprised. You’re an exceptional woman.”

“You walked away from me.” 

“I did.” Ava replied with surprising calm. 

“Why?” Beatrice needed more than what Ava had said earlier. 

“I’ve lost everyone I’ve ever loved. First my parents, then Diego, and -”

“Who’s Diego?” Beatrice interrupted. There was so much about Ava she still didn’t know, but desperately wanted to.

“My brother.” Ava was seemingly unwilling to provide any further clarification. “It took  _ years  _ for me to become friends with Camila, she was completely frustrated by that point. I was convinced that if I got close to her, I’d lose her.” 

“I’m sorry.” Beatrice breathed, unsure of how else to respond to Ava’s sad honesty. 

“It’s not your fault. I was selfish. Running away again. I just…” Ava drummed her fingers against the centre console. A nervous habit. “I couldn’t bear it.”

“I…” Beatrice had no clue how to continue. 

“I know. It’s a lot. Sorry to say all of this at once. In my head this conversation was much different but…” Ava laughed, a sound that made Beatrice’s heart flutter. “Normally I have such a way with words, but you make it difficult.” 

“You’re doing better than I am.” 

“Years of practice.” Ava mumbled.

Neither of them spoke again for a while. Instead, they listened to the sound of the rain falling outside the car, alongside the quiet purr of it’s electric engine. From nowhere, Ava broke the silence. 

“Were those men there to kill you or me?”

“I don’t know.” Beatrice thought of Vincent. “Most likely? Both.” 

“Am I going to get arrested when their dead bodies are found in my yard?” Ava wondered, a valid and pertinent concern.

“No. It would be covered up by the agency.” Beatrice sighed, unwilling to stop herself from asking. “Are you not freaked out that I shot two people in your yard?”   
“I’m not  _ not  _ freaked out.” Ava explained with an uncharacteristic double negative. “But if they were there to kill us, I’m pretty happy they didn’t. Honestly, I’m not as bothered as I thought I might be.” 

“I’m sorry you had to see that. That side of me.”

“You saved my life and I don’t think any lesser than you.” Ava surprised Beatrice for what must have been the hundredth time. 

“You don’t?” Beatrice was incredulous. 

“Why would I?” Ava asked honestly. 

“Because…” Beatrice trailed off, unsure of how to explain further. “I’m not sure how to tell you how I feel.”

“That’s okay.” Ava reached across the car and squeezed Beatrice’s shoulder. “Will you explain it to me when you’re ready? When you figure out how to?” 

“I will.” 

“Then that’s all I can ask for.” Ava leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes. “We’re really in this together now, aren’t we?”

“It definitely seems that way.”

“Is this my fault? Because I asked you to get that file?” Ava questioned Beatrice as they continued through the storm. 

“Hmm…” Beatrice hummed in thought. “I don’t want to lie to you.”

“It is, then.” Ava felt fresh tears sting her cheeks.

“It’s not that simple. It never is. There was already an internal war raging. Mary got the information from someone we thought we could trust. Turns out, we couldn’t. There were other warning signs.”

“What were they?”

“Do you remember when we were out and I got a call about an emergency in the lab?” Beatrice knew Ava wouldn’t have forgotten, but she asked anyhow. 

“Of course.”

“Someone sabotaged our prototype engine design. It exploded during testing. I went over those schematics a thousand times, as did Lilith. Even a critical failure wouldn’t have produced those results. When we took it apart looking for the error… It had been sabotaged.” Beatrice recalled the discovery clearly. 

“Why?” Ava knew she was asking a ton of questions, but she couldn’t help it. She’d be lying if she said this world didn’t absolutely terrify her. But at the same time, she was intrigued. 

“War is profitable. Fossil fuels are profitable. Combined, they’re almost incomprehensible. A section of the CIA wants to prolong conflicts and start new ones. Most of them are corrupt and have under the table deals with oil barons or weapons manufacturers.” Beatrice launched into as concise an explanation as possible. 

“I see.” 

“Whereas, the other side of the agency wants to move forward. It’s no secret that many of our former missions were  _ at least  _ flawed - if not downright harmful. There are plenty of noble and kind people who know that we have the resources to make the world better. Genuinely better.” Beatrice concluded, chancing another look at Ava, whose face was unreadable. 

“Are you one of those people?”

“I certainly try to be.” Beatrice responded quietly.

In front of them, Lilith suddenly veered into the shoulder, before turning down a muddy track. Beatrice followed, cautiously. These cars were not meant for driving off-road. As they bumped and splashed along, Ava pulled a notebook from her bag, and scrawled a note in it while using her phone as a light. 

“What are you writing?” Beatrice couldn’t help but wonder aloud. “If you want to share, that is.” She added self-consciously. 

Ava looked at her, then back at the notebook, before reciting from the jagged scrawl. “There is comfort in the storm; turmoil’s matching set. I’ve regained the love I thought I lost; the love I’d left behind. Instead, we’ve run away together.”

“That’s beautiful.” Beatrice breathed as they pulled up to a secluded farmhouse, tucked deep into the dense forest. 

“You’ve provided me with a lot of inspiration.” Ava smiled. “Also, a lot of distraction.” 

Outside the cars, Beatrice and Ava met up with the rest of the group. “Mary, where are we?” Beatrice asked, looking around. 

“You don’t know everything about me.” Mary winked, walking them towards the door. 

“That much is clear.” Lilith quipped. As they walked, Ava noticed Camila slide her hand around Lilith’s. She was  _ definitely  _ going to bring that up later.

Mary knocked on the door. Almost immediately, a dark haired woman with a shotgun answered it. 

“Sorry!” She put the gun down. “Mary told me to be cautious, so…” She laughed heartily, as did Mary. “I’m Shannon, by the way.” 

“Camila.” She extended a hand, starting off the introductions. “Nice to meet you.”

“You as well.” Shannon replied as Mary gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. Both Lilith and Beatrice raised their eyebrows. 

“This is Beatrice and Lilith. They both work with me at Greentech.” Mary gestured to them, before a second round of handshakes broke out. 

“Nice to meet you both.” Shannon smiled at them.

“And this is the infamous Ava.” Mary concluded. 

“It’s nice to see you again, Shannon.” Ava gave her a warm hug and Shannon returned the sentiment.

“Again!?” Beatrice and Mary wondered at the same time. 


	14. The Storm Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beatrice and Ava have a conversation, among other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry ive only been updating once a day instead of twice, ive been a bit busy this past week

The six of them sat clustered around Shannon’s massive oak table. A fresh pot of coffee steamed between them as the storm raged outside. Had anyone been able to forget the massive threat of the CIA hanging over them, it would have been a warm and cozy scene. There was a roaring fire in the brick fireplace, the perfect accompaniment for their conversation. 

“While we’re here, everyone put your phone in this.” Shannon told them quietly, as she set a strange looking box in the middle of the table. Everyone obeyed. 

“What is this?” Camila asked quietly, slightly nervous that she was about to embarrass herself. 

“A faraday cage.” Beatrice answered. “It’ll stop anyone from tracking or recording information from our devices.”

“Enough about that.” Mary turned towards Shannon. “How do you know Ava?” 

“Ha! It’s a funny story, actually.” Shannon smiled at Ava, who returned the gesture. “The first time we met, I was out for a hike when I heard someone say hi to me. I looked everywhere, but I couldn’t see anything. For a second, I thought I was going crazy. Turns out, Ava was sitting in the tree above me.” 

“I didn’t  _ mean  _ to scare you!” Ava laughed.

“After that, we both volunteered on the same SAR team. Ava might be the only person who knows the forest better than I do.” Shannon explained. 

“I doubt that.” Ava told her. Across the room, Beatrice saw a copy of each of Ava’s books on Shannon’s bookshelves. They were well worn and creased.

“I once saw you coax a fire out of wet wood with a piece of dental floss.” Shannon shot back with a chuckle.

“That’s fair.” Ava grinned. Camila stared between them, reveling in Ava’s ability to be constantly surprising her. 

“Anyway…” Mary stared at Shannon, still shocked. “We have bigger problems to deal with.” 

“That’s an understatement.” Lilith added. Under the table, she kept a hand on Camila’s leg, causing her to blush slightly. 

“I might have an idea, actually.” Beatrice said in a whisper. “At least, the shadow of one.” 

“That’s poetic.” Ava breathed next to her, making Beatrice smile. 

“No offense, Beatrice, because I know you’re a super genius. But… I don’t see how the six of us are going to take down a billion-dollar government agency.” Mary addressed her respectfully, but with understandable doubts. 

“Well, that’s the crux of the issue, isn’t it?” Beatrice hid a smirk. “We don’t need to topple the entire CIA, or even half of it. Rather, we just need to force a coup in our favour.” 

“Oh, well when you put it that way…” Lilith bit with sarcasm. 

“It’s either that, or we go into hiding and wait to be executed. Eventually, our side might win, but we’d be long dead by then.” Beatrice’s words were harsh, but not inaccurate. 

“I don’t want to spend years in hiding, or my last days.” Lilith replied with surprisingly quick honesty. “I actually like my life lately. Unlike Ava, I get little joy from wandering through the wilderness alone.” 

“Your loss.” Ava joked, but she agreed with Lilith’s sentiment. It was a dark assessment, but none of them were willing to give up their freedom. There was no flight in this scenario, only fight.

Beatrice turned to Shannon. “You could easily walk away from this if you wanted to and no one would blame you.”

“I’m not walking away. For Mary’s sake, if nothing else.” The two of them shared a quick moment before Beatrice followed up with another question. 

“Can you handle yourself with a gun?”

“I’m competent.” Shannon answered cryptically. 

“You’re more than  _ competent. _ ” Mary told Shannon then looked at Beatrice. “She’s ex-military. She can handle herself.”

“Glad to hear it.” Beatrice offered Shannon a small smile before turning her attention to Camila. “Camila. You’re probably implicated in this because of how close you are to Ava. Still, I think you’d be able to run away from this if you wanted to.” 

“Not a chance.” Camila answered without pause. Ava gave her a look of surprise. “I’m not highly trained like the rest of you, but I have a gun and I know how to use it.” 

Beatrice raised an eyebrow at Camila’s words. “Alright. We’re all in, then.”

She spent the next hour detailing a plan. Everyone asked questions or made clarifications. As the night stretched on, they grew more confident in their chances of success. Occasionally, one of them made a joke, leading to a round of laughter from the group. It was odd in its juxtaposition. Here they were, likely being hunted by one of the most powerful agencies in existence, yet they had time to enjoy one another’s company. 

Much later, Ava awkwardly opened the door to one of Shannon’s three bedrooms. Initially, Ava had intended to share a room with Camila. Instead, Camila pushed Ava towards Beatrice, telling her to  _ figure it out.  _ Rude. 

“Hi.” Ava whispered.

“Hello.” Beatrice turned around and looked at Ava.

“Camila pushed me in here…” Ava felt the familiar embrace of nervousness, that only seemed to make an appearance when she was with Beatrice. 

“I’m glad she did.” Beatrice replied, with the tiniest of grins.

“Is that so?”

“It is.”

Beatrice crossed the room in a hurry, pressing Ava against the wall. “Okay…” Ava mumbled with a smile before their lips met for the second time that night. An undeniable fire burned between them, a passionate flame in the dark. Ava’s cheeks were flushed by the time they broke apart, several minutes later. 

“Sorry. That was a bit presumptuous.” Beatrice took a respectful step back.

“I’m not complaining.” Ava rasped, the air had been stolen from her lungs. Once she could get a proper breath in, she continued speaking. “I’m sorry I walked away from you. I thought… I thought it was what needed to be done.”

“I understand.” Beatrice responded with a heart wrenching sadness in her tone. 

“It was  _ everything  _ I could do not to turn around. Not to run back to you. My resolve was faltering from the first moment.” Ava admitted. 

“You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that.” Beatrice offered her own admission in return for Ava’s. 

“Why don’t you show me, then?” Ava asked as she stepped forward. Beatrice wasted no time in doing just that, until both of them ended up on the massive bed in the middle of the room. 

“Does that answer your question?” Beatrice wondered, slightly breathless, as they broke apart a second time. Their clothing was strewn about the room; the storm had made its way inside. 

“It does.” Ava rolled onto her back. Her face was slightly shiny with the sheen of exertion. “There’s no way I’ll be able to sleep now.” 

“Likewise.” Beatrice pulled the blanket over them both. “Although I’m not a great sleeper during the best of times. Between this…” She took a deep breath before continuing. “And our upcoming confrontation with the CIA…”

“I know what you mean.” Ava looked at Beatrice. With the small distance between them, Ava could count the freckles that spanned the bridge of her nose and across her cheekbones. 

“Can I ask you a question?” Beatrice asked suddenly, as she matched Ava’s stare of admiration. 

“You may.”

“Did you like me before you knew who I was?” 

“I did.” Ava smiled kindly. “I was drawn to you from the first minute we spoke. Curious about you. Even in learning who you were, I like you in spite of that.” Ava shook her head. “No, that’s not right. You have, so far, led a life that’s beyond impressive. But that’s not who you are. You’re a million times more than your accomplishments.”

“I understand.” Beatrice held Ava’s hand as they lay facing one another.

“I could ask you the same question.” Ava told her with a crooked and playful grin. 

“You could.” 

“But I’m not going to. I think I already know what the answer is.” Ava told her with surprising confidence. 

“You have an awful lot of conviction.” Beatrice joked back, knowing that Ava was right. Then, her face turned more serious. 

  
“May I ask a second question?” 

“You don’t need to ask me every time.” Ava gave her a quick kiss. “But I am reserving my right to ask you a few in return.” 

“That’s fair.” Beatrice steeled herself in preparation, knowing her question would be a difficult one. “What happened to Diego?” 

Ava sucked in a sharp breath, her entire body suddenly tense. “He was my brother. Not my biological brother, but close all the same.” 

“Was?” Beatrice breathed, wondering if she should have asked at all.

“After my parents died, we lived together at the orphanage. Neither of us got along with the other kids, but he and I were inseparable. We got into  _ so much  _ trouble together.” Ava smiled at the recollection, but her face quickly fell.

“I remember the day I found out he was sick.” Ava continued, a tear soaking the pillow. “He was so brave about it, unlike me. I think I cried more than he did.”

“Ava…”

“We had about a year after that. We spent everyday together, trying to hold onto some semblance of normality. I was thirteen when he passed.” Tears streaked freely down her face now. “I remember his funeral like it was yesterday.”

“I’m sorry.” Beatrice didn’t know what else to say.

“It’s not your fault.” Ava wiped the tears from her face. “I was alone after that. Until I met Camila, at least. Years later, and I was still fucked up. I think I still am.” Ava’s voice cracked on the last two words.

“I’m sorry.” Beatrice repeated, pulling Ava into a warm hug. She cried for a few minutes, a release from the day’s events combined with the recollection of her past. Silently, Beatrice held her, crying a few tears of her own. 

“Okay.” Ava wiped her eyes and kissed the tears from Beatrice’s cheeks. “Sorry for crying. I’d like to ask you some questions now.”

“You don’t have to apologise for emoting. If anything, I’m envious of your ability to be so honest about what you feel.” Beatrice told her quietly, reverent in her tone. Ava regarded her with curious eyes for a moment before speaking. 

“Have you killed before today?” Ava finally asked.

“Yes.” Beatrice watched Ava’s face for a reaction, but found none. “It’s sort of… Required when you’re recruited. They want to see if you have the capability.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?” Beatrice couldn’t contain her disbelief. “Why would you be sorry? You should be scared, scared that you are in  _ love  _ with a robot who’s programmed to kill.” Beatrice gasped at the realisation she’d never spoken her fear aloud. 

“Is that how you see yourself?” Ava questioned her with kindness. 

“I suppose so…” 

“It’s not how I see you. It’s not how anyone with half a brain sees you. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. You’re an exceptional woman, Beatrice. You’re anything but a robot.” Ava was earnest in her sentiment. 

“Thank you, Ava.” Beatrice gave her another kiss. 

Despite their adamance that they wouldn’t be able to sleep, both Ava and Beatrice found slumber shortly after their conversation. The storm raged through the night and into the morning. When they awoke the next day, it was still dark and rainy. It was almost impossible to discern the time of day. Surprisingly, Beatrice woke up long after Ava had. As she slipped out of bed, she was surprised to find a note atop her now-folded clothes from the day prior. 

_ My resolve was broken for the better. Stronger is the soul that walks into the storm, braver than the years before. A constant crucible refines me, yet I’ll never be as good as her. _

Beatrice carefully folded Ava’s note and stuffed it into her pocket, before exiting the room. Everyone was sitting around the kitchen table, except for Ava. Lilith poured her a cup of coffee, which she accepted gratefully. Meanwhile, Shannon and Mary were whispering to one another as they coaxed a new flame from the logs in the fireplace. Camila sat at the table, surprisingly calm, looking over the manuscripts Ava had given her a few days prior. 

She looked out the window, watching the rain fall, when Shannon appeared by her side. 

“She’s in the barn, if you’re wondering.” Shannon told her, with a surprisingly warm hand on Beatrice’s shoulder. 

“Thank you.” Beatrice nodded and quickly threw on her coat, before braving the rain. The mud lapped at the edges of her boots as she crossed the yard. With a firm hand, she slid open the heavy barn door, only to gasp. Whatever she had expected to see, it certainly wasn’t  _ that _ .


	15. Contingency Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava and Camila have a conversation and take a risk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> black ops 1 hell hounds were actually a threat. but the black ops 3 hell hounds?? those are a joke!

Ava sat cross legged in the hay, in front of two cows. It was obvious she hadn’t heard Beatrice’s entrance over the storm. She had a small bag of oats in her hand, which she was gently feeding to each of the young cows. 

“I know, Pancake, I feel the same way.” She laughed and patted the brown cow’s head as it ate from her hand. 

“Don’t worry, Jingle. I didn’t forget about you.” Ava reached her hand to the other cow, offering it some food. 

Once the cows were done eating, Ava brushed the crumbs from her hand, although she made no move to stand up. Instead, she continued her conversation with them.

“How have you two been?” She paused, almost as if waiting from them to reply. “I know, I feel the same. But you two are so big! I remember when you were only babies.” Gently, Ava petted Jingle and Pancake behind the ears, which they seemed to enjoy. 

“Sorry to interrupt…” Beatrice whispered, a massive smile across her face. 

“Ah! Beatrice, you scared me!” Ava replied as her cheeks went red with embarrassment. “I was just saying good morning to Pancake and Jingle.”

“I see that.” She couldn’t help but laugh. “Do you know the names of the chickens, too?” 

“Of course.” Ava stood up. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

She quickly said goodbye to the cows, before leading Beatrice out of the barn and into a smaller outbuilding - the chicken coop. There was a single rooster and four hens.

“The rooster is named Krampus.” Ava pointed to him. “Shannon let me name him. He’s a bit of a bastard, don’t get too close. He pecks.” 

“Thanks for the warning.” Beatrice replied, as if they hadn’t been almost murdered the day prior. 

“These two hens are sisters. Choppy and Chippy.” Ava chuckled as she gestured to a beautiful pair of hens who were tucked in the corner. 

“I still think it’s crazy how you and Shannon know each other.” Beatrice wrapped a hand around Ava’s, a comforting warmth. “Although you’re always surprising me, so maybe I shouldn’t be so shocked.”

“I don’t try to be…” Ava looked down for a moment in quiet reflection. “I am doing my best to live the life that I want to lead.”

“I know. I envy you for that.” Beatrice admitted. 

“Why?” 

“Because your life, at least how it seems, is full. You let your desire lead you. You’re passionate and adventurous. You seem to do whatever you want, with a chaotic beauty that I barely understand. Whereas, I’ve spent most of the last few years in a windowless lab.” Beatrice spoke too quickly, anxious with the admission.

“You’ve been developing technology that can,  _ quite literally,  _ save the world.” Ava told her in earnest. 

“Under the umbrella of an agency that tried to have both of us killed yesterday.” Beatrice added with a slight anger in her voice. 

“Fair point.” Ava conceded, turning her gaze back towards the chickens. “I’m just a pretentious writer who is lucky enough to have someone like Camila in her life to take care of all the real shit.” 

“That’s not how I see you.” Beatrice responded at once, before a small smile crossed her face. “It seems as though we both have a poor perception of self.” 

“It does.” Ava couldn’t help but return her smile. “Anyway, the last two hens are named Taco and Lee.”

“Good to know. Do you want to go back inside now? You’ve got a big day ahead of you.” 

“Yeah.” Ava waved goodbye to the chickens, who took little notice of her, before they trudged through the mud and back into the house. 

When they returned, Lilith was sitting next to Camila, both of them doing their own work. Yet, their knees were pressed together underneath the table, and they occasionally shared a warm touch. In the kitchen, Shannon and Mary danced around one another, cooking breakfast. Their love was a beautiful one, older and more trusting than everyone else’s new relationships. Despite the threats that hung over them, it was a surprisingly cheerful morning. Ava, although she couldn’t speak for anyone else, was happy she didn’t face to face this threat alone. 

From Shannon’s secured computer, Ava and Camila sent emails to several of their contacts. Ava’s growing fame had netted her plenty of friends in the industry, not all of whom were novelists. Some were journalists, who could potentially help their cause. It was a risk though, because no self-respecting journalist would trust an interview about something so sensitive via email. They’d have to meet in person, which was undeniably dangerous. 

“So…” Ava began as she sat next to Camila, who was typing a message. “You and Lilith? When were you going to tell me?” 

“We’ve had a lot going on.” Camila replied.

“She knew where you lived  _ before  _ anything happened, don’t you start with me.” Ava smiled at her, completely aware that Camila would fold under the pressure. 

“Okay, okay. You got me.” Camila laughed. 

“Tell me everything!” Ava gently slapped her arm.

“Ava. This is important work, can your nosiness wait?” 

“Fine. But I’m not happy about it. Not happy! Ava giggled and re-focused, helping Camila work through the emails. 

The replies came quickly. As expected, their journalist contacts were hesitant about the subject matter, as well as the digital format. Ava agreed to meet them in person, albeit she had conditions. Within an hour, they had three meetings scheduled. In the city. Both Camila and Ava were aware of the dangers of the plan, but they had also agreed on its necessity. 

Shannon drove them into a smaller town nearby, so they could catch the train into the city. They’d draw less attention that way.

“Good luck.” She whispered out the window, before heading back to the farmhouse. 

“Looks like it’s just you and me, kid.” Ava told Camila as they walked into the station.

“Ava, I’m older than you.” 

“By like a week.” Ava glanced at her, then laughed. “Cool down, grandma.”

They both paid their fare in cash before climbing into the crowded car. Camila wore a hat and uncharacteristically casual clothes. Ava wore a dark wig, as well as a thick pair of glasses with fake lenses. Each time she caught her reflection in the window, she didn’t recognise herself. It was a novel feeling, which also seemed to inspire a million lines of prose. Unfortunately, that would have to wait. Right now, she was undercover.

“Alright. Now that we have some downtime…” Ava prompted mischievously. 

“Okay, okay.” Camila immediately acquiesced. “I did promise.” She sighed, unmistakably happy, before continuing. “Lilith and I are… More or less together.”

“Like,  _ together _ together?” Ava asked, doing everything she could to not scream.

“Yes. Don’t be so juvenile.” Camila told her with a smile. “I like her a lot.” 

“She’s intimidating, but you can tell she has a good heart.” Ava whispered with sincerity. 

“She’s not as mean as you might think. But yeah, it’s new and exciting.” Camila looked at Ava, seeing her through the disguise. “I really like her though.” 

“I know. And trust me, I understand.” Ava replied. 

“Did you and Beatrice make up?” 

“More or less.”

“Ava, why must you always be so cryptic?” Camila’s frustration was more than obvious. 

“Well…” Ava’s cheeks flushed.

“Oh my  _ God. _ You two had -”

“Shh!!” Ava put a finger to Camila’s lips. “But yes, we did.”

“Oh my God. Oh my God! Ava, you were really going to interrogate me about Lilith and  _ not  _ tell me that?” Camila was on the edge of raising her voice.

“Camila, can you focus?” Ava grinned at her wildly. “We are on a literal life or death mission right now.”

“I…” She paused, then realised Ava was, at least partially, joking. “You’re an asshole.” 

“Comes with the territory.” Ava laughed under her breath. “We should use code names though. Just in case someone overhears us.” 

“Don’t change the subject.” Camila could tell there was so much more that needed to be said. “Do you love her?”

“I do, but…” Ava didn’t finish her sentence. 

“But what?” 

“But she doesn’t love me back.” Ava breathed, feeling the burn of tears in the back of her throat. Camila couldn't help but scoff at that.

“Is that what you think?” 

“Yes? Why are you smiling?” Ava seemed genuinely confused. 

“Maybe she hasn’t  _ said  _ it yet, but Beatrice loves you.” 

“How do you know?” Ava stared in disbelief. 

“Okay, first of all, I’m not blind. She might be a reserved person, but the way she looks at you…  _ God,  _ Ava, most people spend their whole lives wishing for someone to look at them like that.” Camila began, before inhaling deeply. “She’s  _ killed  _ for you and risked death by telling you the truth. You really are the smartest idiot I’ve ever met.”

“Tell me how you really feel.” Ava tried to joke but it felt hollow. Camila’s words were screaming through her mind. 

“Not to mention the alleyway torture…” Camila added in a murmur. 

“The  _ what _ ?” Ava felt like this conversation was giving her emotional whiplash.

“Did Beatrice not tell you?” Camila couldn’t help but feel slightly smug. “Lilith told me how they knew you were on the agency’s hitlist.” 

“Would you care to enlighten me?” 

“She, Mary, and Beatrice tortured one of their contacts in an alley for the information. Using the knife you gave Lilith no less.” Camila explained. 

  
“Well… It’s definitely not what I intended, but I’m glad she’s put it to good use.” Ava said with surprising calm.

“You’re… Not freaked out by the torture part of that story?” Camila was understandably incredulous. 

“I’m not exactly excited about it. But had the roles been reversed?” Ava stopped to ponder the idea. “We could all be dead if they hadn’t, so I’m not going to hold it against them. I guess that’s how their world operates.” 

“That’s… Fair.” Camila replied. Ava’s assessment was logical, almost surprisingly so.

“But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish for a better life for all of them. I mean, Beatrice and Lilith are literally working on technology that can save the world, yet they have to contend with this?” 

“Agreed.” Camila squeezed Ava’s hand.

“I dream of a day when they can work on their projects without this hanging over their heads.” Ava added quietly. 

“I mean… I’d like it to not hang over your head, either.”

“That’s… Inconsequential.” 

Before Camila could ask what Ava meant, the train shrieked to a stop. Trying to draw as little attention as possible, they disembarked and hailed a taxi. Once again, they paid in cash, sitting in silence as they were ferried into the heart of downtown. Camila felt a bottomless pit of anxiety in her stomach and she wondered if Ava felt the same. They held hands the entire ride; a constant desire for comfort in the belly of the beast. 

Standing outside, they both looked up at the massive building that stood before them. Thankfully, the rain had slowed to a soft mist. With trepidation in their movements, they both crossed into the lobby of the building.

“Ms. Green is here for her meeting with Ms. Klein.” Camila told the receptionist. 

“Of course. I’ll buzz you in.” She smiled at them, unaware of the gravity of the situation. 

“Thank you.” Ava added as they headed for the elevator.

Upon stepping into Eliza Klein’s office, Ava pulled the wig from her head and removed her glasses. 

“I’ve got to hand it to you, Ava. You always know how to make an entrance.” Eliza told her while gesturing to the two chairs in front of her desk. 

“This is less for dramatic effect and more for keeping me alive.” Ava told her with a grim smile.

“So you weren’t being hyperbolic in your email?” 

“Sadly, no.” Camila added.

“Tell me everything.” Eliza commanded at once, on the edge of her seat. And tell her they did. Camila and Ava alternated between explaining what they knew, what had happened. They worked well as a team, adding information the other forgot or interjecting with important details. It took two hours to relay all the information, leaving Eliza looking more than a little rattled. 

“This is massive.” She breathed, a combination of fear and excitement in her voice. 

“It is.” Ava agreed with a nod. 

“And dangerous. You put me at risk by telling me all of this. You realise that, right?”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Ava was sincere.

“I was aware that it was a possibility. Stories like this are why I became a journalist in the first place. I’ll do what I can to keep myself and my people safe. I’d suggest you do the same.” Eliza explained.

“That’s kind of why we came here.” Camila whispered. “It was a necessary risk.”

“And a clever plan, at that. You’re giving this story to others too, just in case. Right?” 

“We are.” Ava answered quickly. “I know you need to go through our story and corroborate the details. As will everyone else. That takes time, which we are aware of. This story might save our lives, but it might not. If we all die, I think I’d rest easier if I knew the story survived.” As Ava spoke, Camila couldn’t help but stare. This was the second time today that Ava was too cavaliere about dying in this war.


	16. Assurances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three conversations are had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :(

Shannon and Mary walked the outer perimeter of the property. In their surveillance, they tried to imagine which direction the farmhouse would most like be attacked - should that day come. Up the road was an obvious choice, almost too obvious, but the dense forest left few other options. Mary trailed slightly behind Shannon, watching her work with reverence in her eyes. 

“Shan?” Mary asked, her voice uncharacteristically quiet. 

“Yes?” Shannon looked up from her notes. “What’s up?” 

Mary closed the distance between them. “Why are you doing this?” 

“Doing what?” 

“You know what.”

“Helping you? You can’t be serious, Mary. What other choice do I have? Send you away, send Ava away? Let you all die? I’ve seen firsthand what can happen in these situations. I’d never be able to forgive myself if I didn’t help you.” Shannon was frustrated with Mary’s question.

“I know but…” Mary pulled Shannon closer to her. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.” 

“I’ll do my best not to let it.” Shannon dismissed her and turned away. 

“Shannon!” Mary shouted and grabbed her hand. “This is serious! I couldn’t stand to lose you. Not after everything we’ve managed to survive so far.” 

“I understand that, Mary. I do. I’m fighting alongside you, all of you, because I can’t lose you either. It’s not that complicated.” Shannon told her. Mary laid a kiss on the back of Shannon’s hand, only then noticing how each fingernail had been ripped to a bloody stub.

“I’m not just worried about your body.” Mary mumbled, pulling her into a tight hug. 

“Mary…” Shannon breathed into her shoulder. “You can’t protect me from everything, even though you’ve never stopped trying.”

“I can’t seem to help myself.” Mary replied as she finally let Shannon go.

“I know, I know.” She shook her head. “Come on, let’s get back to work so that we have a better chance of  _ not dying. _ ”

“I like that plan.” Mary answered as they continued to work.

Meanwhile, in Shannon’s kitchen, Greentech’s finest were preparing their own preparations. Beatrice and Lilith had cleaned off the counter, which was now covered in a tarp. Atop it was a makeshift chemistry station, with several components and ingredients spread out across it. 

“This is new.” Lilith quipped as she weighed out precise measures of sugar. 

“It certainly is.” Beatrice answered without looking up from her work. “When were you going to tell me that you and Camila had started dating?” 

“Who says you’re entitled to know?” Lilith snapped back, albeit lightheartedly.

“Wow.” Beatrice spared her a glance. “Words can hurt.” 

“Oh, dispense with the drama.” Lilith smiled momentarily, but then turned serious. “I don’t know what to tell you, though. I like Camila. I guess that’s a good place to start.” 

“You two are so different…” Beatrice almost couldn’t believe that Lilith was willing to talk to her about this. 

“Oh, because you and Ava are such similar people?” 

“Fair point.” Beatrice passed an empty water bottle to Lilith, then began measuring out the accelerant. “I’m happy for you.” 

“Thank you. I just… I wish she had left when she had the chance. It makes me feel sick knowing that she could die because of this, especially since she’s barely involved.” 

“Ava’s her best friend, there’s absolutely no way she would have walked away from this.” Beatrice replied, although she more than understood the sentiment. 

“I know, but… Well, I hope we all make it out of this. I feel like I’ve only barely scratched the surface. It’s fucking  _ cruel  _ how life seems to get in the way sometimes.” Lilith mumbled, her voice cracking as she swore. 

“I get what you mean.” Beatrice answered, surprised at Lilith’s sudden outburst. “We have to do everything we can to tip the odds in our favour.” 

“Are we not already doing that? We’re literally making bombs right now.” 

“I know but…” Beatrice hesitated, weighing out her thoughts. “ _ God,  _ I just feel guilty. It should have been just me, you, and Mary. Now, somehow, there’s six of us with our lives on the line.” 

“If you had to do everything over again, would you leave Ava to keep her safe?” Lilith asked, her eyes piercing. 

“Obviously, I want to say yes…”

“But you don’t know if you can.” Lilith completed her sentence. 

“More or less.” Beatrice sighed, setting down the bottle for a moment. “I know that it’s selfish and I know we haven’t known each other for very long. Yet I already can’t imagine my life without her in it.” 

“You love her.” 

“What?” 

“You heard me.” Lilith turned back to her work, unaware of the effect her words had on Beatrice.

“I… What?” Beatrice looked frozen in thought, her mind was racing.

“Beatrice.” Lilith worked hard to keep from laughing. “Please tell me you’ve told her. It’s beyond obvious to everyone with eyes.” 

“ _ Love? _ ” Beatrice echoed. She seemed to be malfunctioning. 

Back in the city, Ava and Camila made a careful exit from their second meeting. With cautious eyes, they scanned the street, looking for threats. Having not seen any, they began to walk towards their final appointment. Both of them were understandably nervous and desperate for this part of the plan to be over. 

“That went well.” Camila whispered to her as they walked.

“I agree. If Beatrice, Mary, or Lilith could find files that proved our case, we’d be even better off.” Ava added, thinking through several possibilities. 

“We’d have to find a safe way to send them in. It’d be dangerous.” 

“All of this is dangerous.” 

“I know.” Camila mumbled, feeling a fresh wave of fear in her chest.

“You know what the worst part is, though?” Ava gave her a smile. “I have so many great ideas but it’d be too risky to stop and write them down right now.” 

“Speaking of your ideas…” Camila returned Ava’s smile, grateful for her ability to constantly stay positive. “I read through your rough draft manuscript that you gave me.” 

“And?” Ava prompted; she loved hearing Camila’s thoughts and feedback on her work. 

“I like it. A lot. Beatrice’s influence on your work is astonishing, though.” 

“Psh…” Ava blushed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“But the ending!” Camila gesticulated as she spoke. “What a mindfuck! I honestly don’t know how you come up with this stuff!”

“Drugs, and a lot of them.” 

“Wait. Seriously?” Camila stopped in her tracks and stared at Ava, who wore a massive grin. “Oh, you’re messing with me.” 

“Good catch.” Ava laughed, and they continued walking. 

“It’s not nice to screw with people like that.” Camila pretended to pout.

“I need to do something to distract myself from how freaking scared I am.” Ava admitted quietly.

“You’re scared?” 

“Of course I am! Are you crazy?” 

“I don’t know!” Camila sounded exasperated. “Your entire life is crazy, I figured this was just par for the course.” 

“If anything, that should make me more scared. I’ve cheated death too many times now. I really feel like I’m pushing it.” Ava explained without a hint of humour. 

“Ava…” Before Camila could continue speaking, they found themselves at the location of their third, and final, meeting. 

“I know the lecture you’re about to give me, but please, save it.” Ava bit. “Sorry. That was too harsh.” She let out a soft sigh. “Everything is…  _ Complicated  _ right now.”

“Understatement of the year.” Camila grumbled as they headed inside. 

Just as they had two times already, they settled into another journalist’s office. Rob had known Ava the longest, they had met in college. He and Ava shared a quick hug, then with Camila. After the greetings, Ava launched into the explanation for the third time. It was easier to tell the story with practice, even the darkest details were made simple with repetition.

After several minutes, Camila hopped in and took over the explaining. For this, Ava was beyond grateful. Although she wouldn’t admit it aloud, she was exhausted. As Camila and Rob spoke, she looked out the window. His office was on the first floor, near the harbour. If Ava angled her head slightly, she could see ships passing in the distance. 

“Ava, are you still with us?” He asked with a kind smile.

“Hmm?” Ava turned her attention back to their conversation. “Sorry. It’s been a long day.” 

“I can imagine. I’m worried for both of you. This is beyond heavy stuff.” He was nothing but empathetic. 

“Oh, we know.” Camila whispered. It was obvious that it was weighing on her. “We’re also sorry to put you in danger by association. But -”

“It’s a failsafe.” Rob interrupted. “I get it.” 

“Exactly. We might not make it out of this, but the story has too.” Ava added with tension in her voice. 

“I understand. Anyway, real journalism is dangerous, it shouldn’t be something we shy away from.” He quickly keyed a note into his computer. “I’ll do my best to stay safe, but you two need to do the same. I don’t want this to be the last time I see you.” 

“Likewise.” Ava went to stand up, only to be startled by the door breaking open. A man in a suit had obviously kicked it open, his gun drawn. Before anyone could move, he fired two rounds at Rob, killing him in his chair. It was silent for a split second afterwards, the only audible sound the ringing in their ears and the blood dripping into the carpet. 

The intruder was well-trained, and he quickly pulled Ava into a chokehold while pointing his gun at Camila. To her credit, she kept calm, meeting his stare.

“You’re expendable.” He barked. “She’s not. At least, not yet.” 

“Why… Is… That?” Ava asked, struggling to breathe in the man’s tight hold.

“Shut up.” He told her, tightening his grip further. 

As Ava gasped for air, she winked at Camila, who didn’t acknowledge it, lest their assailant see. After a split second pause, Ava bucked her head backwards into the man’s nose, feeling it break with the pressure. He dropped her to the ground, gasping, allowing Camila to take her shot. With surprising speed, she withdrew her gun and shot him in the chest. Upon impact, he reeled backwards and slid down the wall, leaving a bloody trail as he went. 

“Are you okay?” Camila whispered in a panic as she reached out a hand to pull Ava from the floor. 

“Check… His pockets…” Ava rasped, as she found her way to her feet. Her neck was red, a bruise already forming around her trachea. 

“Watch the door.” Ava did as she was told, knowing they had maybe a minute before they had to run for it. 

Camila bent down, getting a closer look at the man she’d just killed. Internally, she was reeling, but she didn’t have time to be freaked out. She quickly searched through his suit pockets, finding only a USB drive and a few spare bullets. She pocketed both. As she stood up, Ava pushed the two chairs against the doorway, as well as the desk. 

Ava then crossed over to Rob, closing his eyes with the tenderest of movements. “I’m sorry.” She whispered, nearly inaudible. The sound of sirens was wailing in the distance, growing louder by the second. 

“Ava, there’s people coming down the hallway. We need to go.” Camila’s voice was tight and clipped. 

“Alright.” She breathed, still barely able to speak. 

She turned towards the window that she had been staring out of before, desperate to return to that calm daydream. Camila threw a stapler through the window, making a small hole, but not the massive crash of glass that she had been hoping for. Ava flashed her a quick smile, before throwing her own body through the window. 

“Ava!” Camila shouted, following her through.

“If it works, it’s not stupid.” Ava coughed, grabbing Camila’s hand in a run and leading her down an alley. 

“Your face is bleeding.” Camila told her in a panic. 

“That’s… Okay.” Ava replied hoarsely as they weaved through the back alleyways. 

A few moments later, they found themselves in the heart of one of Seattle’s touristy areas. With as much calm as they could muster, they purchased a few non-bloodied pieces of clothing, and quickly pulled them on. Camila frantically washed the blood for her hands while Ava tried to stem the bleeding in her head. Neither of them spoke, there was no need. They knew each other well enough that, even in this time of insanity, the other’s thoughts were clear.


	17. A Moment's Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Camila talks to Shannon and Ava talks to Beatrice. That's it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i stayed up late to finish this

Shannon sat in the barn with Camila, as they quietly fed the cows. It was odd, they barely knew each other, but Shannon had requested Camila’s presence specifically. 

“What you did today wasn’t easy.” Shannon began, as she poured feed into the trough. “But you handled it exceptionally well. Even if you weren’t a civilian I’d be impressed.” 

“Really?” Camila could feel the stickiness of the blood on her hands, even though it had been long washed off. 

“Really.” Shannon exhaled slowly. “It’s different for them. When you get inducted into the agency, they get desensitised to killing. It’s built into the training, because it’d be a liability otherwise.” 

“I understand.” Camila whispered, a whirlwind of feelings rushing through her mind. 

“Taking a life is serious. But you did it for the right reasons. With respect, no less.”

“What do you mean, with respect?” Camila felt almost as if she was floating, as if she was in a foggy dream. 

“When I was in the military, I saw terrible things. Some people join because they  _ like  _ killing. It brings them joy. Whenever they got the opportunity, they would revel in the chance to take a life. Drag it out, get creative with it…” Shannon shook her head as if she was trying to force the dark memories away. “That’s not you.” 

“Oh.” A single syllable felt like all Camila could manage. 

“You saved Ava’s life today. Most likely, ours too.” 

“Really?” Camila echoed.

“They would have gotten answers out of Ava eventually.” Shannon answered emotionlessly and without detail. That didn’t stop Camila’s mind from filling in the blanks, though. 

“That’s… Not good.” Camila mumbled.

“Hey.” Shannon turned away from the animals and put a hand on each of Camila’s shoulders. “I know that we’ve only just met, but I’m telling you this as a friend. You did the right thing to protect those you care about. You’re not a bad person. I promise. Whatever you need to say or do to convince yourself of that, I’m not sure, but…” Shannon trailed off, unsure of how to continue. 

“I get what you’re saying.” Camila told her, with the slightest bit of emotion returning to her voice. 

“I wish I could tell you something else and I wish you had the luxury of time away from this life. Unfortunately, that’s not in the cards for us.” Shannon hung her head. 

“I’m just happy I’m not in this alone.” 

“Of course not. We might not be much, but we’re backing you up. One hundred percent.” Shannon gave her a quick smile. 

“I hope we all make it out of this.” Camila tried to match her smile but it felt hollow. “I think we could actually all be friends.”

“And man, what a crazy story we would have when people asked how we all met.” Shannon returned with a laugh. 

Back inside the farmhouse, Ava sat on the edge of the bathtub, trying to pick the glass out of her arm. It was slow work, since she was forced to use her non-dominant hand. Before she made too much of a mess, there was a knock at the door. 

“Can I come in?” Beatrice asked softly from the other side.

“Yes.” Ava answered immediately. 

At the sight of Ava’s blood, Beatrice sucked in a breath. “Do you need help?” She inquired gently, in a state of forced composure. 

“I…” Ava considered saying no; she didn’t want to feel like any more of a burden than she already was. 

“Don’t answer that. I know the answer is yes.” Beatrice sat down on the floor in front of Ava.

“Thank you.” Ava whispered as she handed Beatrice the tweezers. With exceedingly gentle movements, Beatrice pulled each tiny shard from Ava’s arm. 

“Do you want to fill me in on what happened?” Beatrice asked with absolute kindness. 

“I told Shannon in the car, I figured she told everyone as well.” Ava was understandably evasive. 

“Not the details.” 

“Alright. Well…” Ava took a deep breath and tried to compose herself and her thoughts. 

“Ava.” Beatrice set a hand on her knee. “It’s okay. You’re safe now. We’ll keep you safe… I will keep you safe.” 

“We were in our last meeting, with Rob. I’ve known him for years, we met in college. Not MIT, of course.” Ava couldn’t resist teasing Beatrice, even if there were tears in her eyes. “A man burst through the door and shot him, just like that. No words, no pause. Just… Shot.” 

“I’m sorry.” Beatrice whispered as her dark eyes met Ava’s.

“He was holding me and pointing his gun at Camila. I could barely think and barely breathe, but I knew I had to do  _ something. _ ” Ava continued. “I threw my head back into his nose and broke it, so he dropped me. Then…” She coughed and tried to regain her words, while Beatrice stared at the prominent bruising around her neck. “Camila took her chance and shot him. She killed him.” 

“Ava…” Beatrice began, feeling overwhelmingly empathic for both Ava and Camila. “You can’t blame yourself for this.” 

“Well, I’m definitely not going to blame Camila!” Ava snapped, standing up. Blood dripped onto the floor. “She saved my life!”

“I wasn’t going to say that either. The agency is to blame.” Beatrice whispered, fearing she had said the wrong thing.

“Oh. I’m sorry.” Ava sat back down. “I didn’t mean to… Just… I’m sorry.” She stuttered out an apology, looking down the whole time. 

“Ava, please. It’s okay. You’ve been through more than a lot today.” Beatrice calmly wrapped the now-clean wound on Ava’s arm. “Now let me see your face.” 

“Don’t get any ideas…” Ava joked as Beatrice cleaned the deep gash. She paused, for a moment, and regarded Ava with a serious expression. Without warning, she placed a quick kiss on Ava’s lips before continuing her work.

“I couldn’t help it. I’m a scientist. Ideas are in my blood.” Beatrice quipped back. She liked how Ava’s joking lightheartedness had rubbed off on her. More darkly, she hoped Ava wouldn’t lose that in the days to come.

“That’s a good one.” Ava breathed, slightly distracted. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

“What did I say about this preamble before every question?” Ava raised an eyebrow, although the action made her wince. 

“Okay, I’m  _ going to  _ ask you a question.” Beatrice corrected. “This morning, you left me a note. The last line was:  _ A constant crucible refines me, yet I’ll never be as good as her. _ Is that really how you feel?”

“How I feel, about both you and all things, is constantly in flux.” Ava answered cryptically, but upon seeing Beatrice’s frustration, she clarified. “It’s how I felt this morning and it’s how I feel quite often.” 

“Why?” 

“Why?” Ava echoed as she pondered her reasoning. “I’m not sure I have a good answer to that. I can tell you, though, I am constantly in awe of you. Your intelligence, your charm, your beauty, your… Everything. You’re an impressive woman, Beatrice. I’m lucky to know you.” Ava explained with complete honesty, while Beatrice blushed with an unmatched ferocity. 

Beatrice didn’t speak for several minutes, feeling as though she had been stunned into silence. Instead, she tried to focus on cleaning up Ava’s face. The wound was ugly and messy; it would undoubtedly leave a scar across Ava’s forehead. 

“You need a few stitches.” Beatrice said quietly, choosing to leave Ava’s words unaddressed. “I can do them, if you want. Or Lilith can. And, I’m pretty sure Shannon has first aid training as well, or -”

“I’d like you to do them. Please.” Ava interrupted Beatrice’s flustered speech. 

“Okay.” Beatrice whispered as her cheeks continued to burn. She picked the supplies she would need from the first aid kit, before turning her attention back to Ava. “Hold still, please.” 

“You have a needle an inch from my eye, I’m not planning on moving.”

“Smart woman.” 

“I -” 

“Shh. Quiet for a moment.” Beatrice instructed. Ava did as she was told. 

“Since you can’t talk, I’ll keep our conversation going.” Beatrice smiled as she worked, meanwhile Ava closed her eyes. She was more than content to listen to Beatrice’s words. “I’m proud of you. I know today was a trial, probably unlike any you’ve ever faced. But you handled it well, surprisingly so.” She took a moment to breath, continuing to stitch up Ava’s wound. “Lilith and I had an interesting conversation while you two were away.” Beatrice admitted as she finished, clipping the extra length of thread.

“Care to enlighten me?” Ava asked, her curiosity unmasked. 

“It was, at first, about her and Camila.” 

“Oh my  _ God! _ Don’t even get me started about those two. Camila and I spoke about it as well but… Man, I just can’t believe she didn’t tell me sooner!” Ava was dramatic, but she smiled while she spoke. 

“I feel the same.” Beatrice told her, without the theatrics. 

“They are an adorable couple, though.” Ava added. “Maybe, if we survive this, we could go on a double date with them.” 

“We are going to survive this. I’ll make sure of it.” Beatrice was resolute in her decision, in her determination. 

“Did you and Lilith talk about anything else?” Ava wondered, her curiosity far from sated. She feared with Beatrice it never would be, she wanted to know every minute detail.

“There’s something else, but…” 

“You’re not ready to say it yet.” Ava finished in the blank, almost prophetic in her prediction. 

“How…?” Beatrice stared at Ava, before she closed the distance between them. As they kissed, the insanity and danger of the day seemed to fall away. For a moment, there was peace.


	18. Mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilith makes a critical mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BEYBLADE: LET EM RIP!

At Shannon’s computer once more, Camila sat quietly next to Lilith. For several minutes, the only sound in the room was Lilith’s typing as she tried to break the encryption on the USB drive. Eventually, however, she spoke. 

“You did well today.” Lilith told her in a whisper.

“People keep telling me that, but I’m not sure if I believe it.” Camila replied in a constricted voice. 

“It’s hard. Especially at first.” Lilith laid a hand on her shoulder. “I hope you can come to understand that you did the right thing.” 

“When I spoke to Shannon, she told me that part of your training is focused on desensitising you to death. Is that true?” 

“I thought we were talking about you right now?” Lilith asked, already hating where this conversation was headed. 

“Perhaps, but I want to know.” Camila was used to dealing with Ava’s cryptic words and she saw past Lilith’s misdirection at once. 

“Well, Shannon was right. I imagine she went through a similar ordeal in Special Forces.”

“What was it like?” Camila knew the question was morbid but she couldn’t help herself. 

“It was… Awful. One of the hardest times in my life. The agency has a million and one ways to convince you that human life is worthless.” Lilith didn’t elaborate any further, but Camila had heard plenty.

“I’m sorry.” Camila breathed, reached an arm around Lilith’s waist. “You’re so kind and gentle to me, it’s hard to believe that…” 

“You make me want to be better.” Lilith admitted, her eyes fixed on the computer screen. 

“Really?” 

“Really.” Lilith turned to face her. “Why is that so hard to believe? You’re one of the warmest and kindest people I’ve ever met. Is it wrong for me to want to emulate even a fraction of that?”

“No, I guess not…” Camila trailed off for a second time. 

Before they could continue their conversation, the computer started beeping loudly. With sudden, panicked movements, Lilith yanked the USB from it’s port, chucking it to the floor. She then crushed it with her heel, ensuring the internals were broken. 

“We are so, so fucked.” She breathed, staring down at the shards of the device. 

“Should I be freaking out right now?” Camila asked, feeling sick. 

“It wouldn’t be the worst idea.” Lilith replied, before running into the hallway, shouting. 

“You didn’t turn off the network before you plugged in the drive?!” Beatrice shouted at Lilith a few moments later, as everyone gathered in Shannon’s kitchen. “ _ God,  _ Lilith, you know better than that!” 

“Oh, sorry, I’m not Saint fucking Beatrice!” Lilith yelled in return. They stood inches apart in the heat of the argument.

“We went through the same training! This is literally the  _ first  _ thing they teach you in the cybersecurity section!” 

“Well, let me just hop in my fucking machine and I’ll make sure to correct my error!” 

“Enough!” Shannon stepped between them and extended her arms. “We don’t have time for this. Lilith, you screwed up, but we’re under a tremendous amount of stress. Beatrice, relax. Attacking Lilith won’t change what’s coming for us.” 

“I’m sorry.” Lilith whispered, to both Beatrice and everyone in the room. 

“As I am.” Beatrice ducked around Shannon and gave Lilith a quick hug before turning to address everyone. 

“Alright. Plus side, we likely aren’t a big enough threat to warrant a drone strike or aerial bombing. This also gives us a few hours to prepare. The downside is that we’ve now killed four agents, so they’ll send a team.”

“That’s what we’ve been preparing for though, isn’t it?” Mary asked.

“Precisely.” Beatrice answered and Ava could see the fire burning within her eyes. “It’s probable that they won’t send their strike team in until nighttime. They have the obvious technological advantage, it would be stupid for them not to use it. Of course, technological advantages can always be thwarted.” 

“What’s your plan then, Beatrice?” Camila wondered, knowing that she likely already had thought of one.

“Shannon, would I be correct in assuming you have a gun locker somewhere around here?” Beatrice inquired, before answering Camila’s question.

“You would.” Shannon replied with a simple nod. 

“Okay. Good.” Beatrice rubbed her hands together, quickly running through the thoughts in her head. “Lilith, can you prepare the rest of our chemistry project from this morning?” 

“Of course.” Lilith was grateful that she could help, hoping that it would alleviate some of her guilt. 

“Shannon, can you collect whatever weapons you have and bring them in?” Beatrice followed up with another request. 

“I can.” 

“Alright. Once you’ve done that, can you and Mary try to secure the perimeter to the best of your ability? At the very least, try to ensure that our guests visit via the main road.” 

“We can handle that.” Mary answered, with a brave determination. 

“I know you can.” Beatrice gave her a kind, but quick, smile. She continued assigning tasks, speaking with authority and decisiveness. Everyone began to file out of the room since time was of the essence. Only Ava was left sitting at the table. 

“You didn’t give me anything to do.” She rasped quietly, feeling quite useless. 

“I…” Beatrice stuttered, a sharp departed from her assured speech earlier. “I need your help with something, actually.” 

After Beatrice gathered a few supplies and everyone’s car keys, the pair of them headed outside. “We need to move the cars around so that they all face towards the road.” Beatrice instructed, tossing Ava a set of keys, which she snatched from the air. 

“Got it.” Ava replied, before dashing off to follow Beatrice’s orders. Once the cars were lined up, Beatrice popped the hood on Shannon’s truck and got to work.

“What are we doing, exactly?” Ava asked as she held the tools Beatrice needed. “And did you only ask me out here to hold your tools so I wouldn’t feel useless?” 

“I also enjoy your company.” Beatrice told her with a wry smile. “You did your job today, when you went into the city. It’s okay to not contribute to everything.”

“I’m pretty sure you would feel useless if we were to switch places.” Ava grumped, her voice still hoarse from the earlier attack. 

“Probably.” Beatrice laughed, feeling lighter in Ava’s presence. “But it does help to have an extra set of hands.”

“To do?” Ava prompted, since Beatrice had only answered one of her questions. 

“We’re going to hook all the electrical systems on these cars together, so the lights can be triggered remotely. If they come in with night vision, which I’m banking on at this point, we’ll be able to blind them for several seconds. Several seconds which, if played right, could save our lives.”

“What happens if we survive this, and then they come drop a bomb on Shannon’s house and we all die anyhow?” Ava couldn’t keep the fear from seeping into her voice. 

“There’s always the possibility.” Beatrice muttered darkly. “But there’s a few contingencies in place.” 

“Which are?” 

“I think it’s better if you don’t know.” 

“Beatrice. I am not a child. I’ve almost been killed twice now and I’ve seen people die.” Ava was resolute. 

“That’s not why I don’t want to tell you. I know you’re not a child.” Beatrice sighed as her eyes threatened tears. “You have such a lightness in your heart, your soul. You can always find the silver lining, or the bright side, in any situation. I admire that so much. You bring it out in me, as well - a feeling I’ve never before experienced. I’d hate to see you lose that because you got messed up in all of this.” A tear slipped from her face and splashed against the inside of the car.

“Oh.” A small noise was all Ava could manage, surprising for someone who was normally quite verbose. 

“Sorry.” Beatrice turned back to her work on the car. “That was a lot to say all at once, but it’s how I feel.” 

“I’m happy you told me. I know that’s not always easy for you.” 

“You have no idea.” Beatrice whispered. 

“If we survive this, what are some things you’d like to do?” Ava asked after a few minutes of silence. 

“That’s a good question. If possible, I’d like to go back to work. If not at Greentech, then somewhere. I like what I do.” 

“I know. I wish that for you too, it’s beyond unfair that you’ve had this… Threat hanging over you the entire time.” Ava replied with respect in her voice. “What else?”

“I think I’d like to travel somewhere. Somewhere wild. Maybe be a little bit more like you.” Beatrice told her as she twisted a pair of wires together. 

“Maybe… Maybe I could come with you?” Ava breathed, nervous that she was being too presumptuous. 

“I thought that was obvious.” Beatrice grinned.

“ _ God,  _ you make me nervous.” Ava laughed, a release of tension. “I’d never really felt nervous before I met you.” 

“Which is crazy in itself, because your life has been absolutely insane.” Beatrice added. 

“I know!” Ava exclaimed, then coughed.

“Are you okay?” Beatrice stood up suddenly, her eyes full of concern. 

“Yes, I’m fine. My throat hurts. Can’t imagine why.” Ava tried to make a joke of it, but her face told a different story. Between the bruises that ringed her neck and the stitches on her face, she looked… Rough.

Beatrice gave her a cursory assessment before speaking. “Alright, I’m done with this car. Let’s move onto the next one.”

“Yes ma’am.” Ava gathered the tools in her arms and carried them over to Lilith’s hybrid. 

“What do you want to do  _ when  _ we survive this?” 

“To start, I’d like to go on another date with you.” Ava answered.

“Just one?” Beatrice pretended to be aghast. 

“Well, I need to make sure I like you first.” Ava teased with a grin. 

“Very funny.” 

“I try.” Ava leaned forward and placed a light kiss on Beatrice’s shoulder as she worked. 

“Even with the threat of death hanging over us, you distract me.” Beatrice told her quietly, with newly flushed cheeks. 

“Oh! That’s good!” Ava dropped the tools she had been holding to the ground and dashed into the house. She was back a moment later, notebook in hand. Beatrice continued working as Ava scrawled several lines onto the wrinkled page. 

“It follows me through the streets, tapping on my shoulder at every turn. Implications are clear, the threat’s in the air. No peace and no safety, yet I can’t make myself care. Distracted from death by the love of my life.” Ava read in a hushed voice, a few moments later. 

“That sums it up.” Beatrice replied, as her heart started to hammer away. “You said it much better than I did.” 

“I wouldn’t sell yourself short. You’ve got a decent mind for this. Now all I have to do is learn science.” Ava smiled as she closed the notebook. 

“Science is easier in some ways. There’s no feelings, no grey area. It is what it is. Everything has an answer and is absolute.” Beatrice explained, remembering why she loved this work.

“No grey area?” Ava repeated in disbelief. “That’s the best place to be!”

“You and I are fundamentally different people.” Beatrice told Ava as she closed the hood of the car. “One more to go.” 

“I can’t believe you built this.” Ava said as Beatrice revealed her car’s internals.

“Well, I can’t believe you’re a New York Times bestseller, so I guess we’re both impressed.” Beatrice quipped. 

“I’m serious, Beatrice.” Ava’s face confirmed that. “I will do everything I can to ensure you make it out of this fight alive. The world couldn’t stand to lose you.” 

Beatrice stared at Ava for several long seconds, completely dumbfounded by her words. Not only did Ava  _ love  _ her, but was willing to  _ die  _ for her? Although, if Beatrice were being honest with herself, she knew that she would do the same. 

“I don’t want you to die for me.” Beatrice finally uttered. 

“I don’t want to die either, but if it comes down to it… Well, I think it would be worth it.” Ava was absolutely sincere in her words. 

“Ava… I love you.”


	19. Over.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The agency sends some visitors to the farmhouse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is kind of late. i was having an emotional breakdown and didnt want to write it.

As night fell, Camila found herself perched atop the roof of Shannon’s barn. Everything was dark, all the lights were off to deter snipers. Only the moon provided visibility. She had only two items with her, a gun and a walkie talkie. Granted, she was only planning on using one of them. While everyone else waited in the house, she stood watching, waiting for the CIA to show up. Camila almost laughed in its absurdity. 

While she was nervous, she was grateful to be in the position she was. Shannon had advocated for it specifically. Sure, she was slightly exposed, but she was only up there as a lookout. The gun was a last resort. After the day she had, Camila was more than happy to take the job. If she never killed again, it would still be too soon. 

The frosty night wore on. Camila was careful to hide her breath, lest it be visible to any intruders if she let it hang in the air. She wasn’t a religious woman, but she would be lying if she said she didn’t whisper a few prayers to herself that night. Gentle, quiet pleading for safety, for victory. After what seemed like hours, the snapping of a branch in the distance caught Camila’s attention. With slow movements, she manipulated the walkie talkie and brought it to her face. 

“We’ve got movement.” She whispered, only to add, “Over.” 

“Thanks Camila.” Shannon’s voice buzzed through. “Stay safe. Over.” Camila was more than happy to do just that, but she chambered a bullet just in case. The sound of steps drew closer, until she was positive that she could hear the crunching of dirt.

“They’re on the road. Good luck.” Her voice was barely a whisper. “Over.”

“We’re in position.” It was Lilith now. “Over.”

“Alright.” Shannon was crouched behind the kitchen counter, rifle in hand. Everyone was gathered around in, in similar positions. “They’re headed down the road just as we planned. Stay away from windows, stay low. Try to go for non-lethal shots when possible, but don’t risk your life for it. We need to keep as many of them alive as possible. Once Beatrice activates our light trap, we’ll try to get a read on the numbers. We’ve got a few moments of calm before all hell breaks loose. Do I make myself clear?” 

“Crystal.” Lilith whispered. Shannon commanded the room, it was hard not to salute her. 

“We’ve got it.” Mary replied simultaneously.

“Let me know when to hit the switch.” Beatrice added, holding a key fob in one hand, and a rifle in the other. 

“Yes.” Ava choked. She had a shotgun in her hands, Mary had given her a basic rundown of how to use it, but she was far from confident. Her face glowed with nervous sweat and she could feel her pistol uncomfortably tucked into her jeans. 

“Beatrice, Ava. Take the front room.” Shannon continued issuing instructions with quick words. They had only a minute before bullets started flying. “Lilith, you’ve got the longest range, so stay here in the kitchen. Use the table to stabilise your weapon.” Lilith gave her a nod. “Mary and I will take the living room. If anyone’s in trouble, call out.” Without another word, the three teams split up, staying low and quiet. 

Ava and Beatrice leaned against the wall below the window. Slowly, they peaked through the glass. If they squinted, they could just discern the outline of the soldiers that were crossing the yard. The men moved with practiced steps, controlled and nearly silent. Thankfully, they also moved languidly up the dirt road that led to Shannon’s house. The walkie talkie clipped to Beatrice’s belt buzzed, a sharply terrifying noise. 

“Bea, they’re close. Press the button.” Camila’s voice relayed, staticky. “Over.” 

“I…” Beatrice had been about to protest the nickname, but it wasn’t the time. “Got it. Stay alert. Over.” As she and Ava shared a look of horror, Beatrice pressed the button. They both watched as the men shouted in surprise, ripping the night vision goggles from their eyes. 

“I’ve got ten. Over.” Camila reported.

Beatrice didn’t reply, instead opting to break the glass with the butt of her rifle. She took two shots in quick succession of one another.

“Make that eight. Over.” She barked into the device. Ava raised an eyebrow, but whatever emotion she felt was interrupted but the popping sound of automatic gunfire. Beyond just the guns, glass broke everywhere, a deafening symphony. 

Ava began to lift her head, but Beatrice placed a strong hand on her shoulder and pulled her back down. 

“Not yet.” She whispered. “Wait until they reload. Do as I do.” 

“Got it.” Ava replied. She almost smiled, at how insane this entire situation was. Most likely, it was her brain desperately trying to protect her from this traumatic experience. As the gunfire began to quiet, Beatrice tipped her rifle through the window once more, and Ava followed suit. A few, punctuated shots echoed through the house. It seemed as though their friends were doing the same. 

“Bombs out. They are getting too close.” Beatrice told the walkie talkie after they’d taken cover once more. “Over.” From within her pocket, she withdrew one of the water bottles she and Lilith had precisely filled earlier. 

“What is that?” Ava rasped.

“Watch.” Beatrice responded in a hurried voice, before vigorously shaking the bottle and chucking it through the window. 

Nothing happened. At least, nothing happened for a few moments. Time seemed to stretch out as gunfire filled the air again, only to stop once the explosion detonated. Everything seemed bright, too bright, for several moments, as three bombs went off in quick succession. Camila’s voice crackled through the device.    
“Half down. Five left. Over.” 

Before Ava or Beatrice could move, a strangled cry echoed from the kitchen. They exchanged a silent look, knowing it was Lilith. Beatrice sprang from her hiding spot, determined to help her friend. As she revealed herself, one of the soldiers dove through the window, tackling her into the wooden floor. He held her down with one hand, while reaching for his handgun. Ava crept forward a few paces, as she quietly unsheathed the handgun Beatrice had given her. With oddly gentle movements, Ava pressed the gun to his head, since he was wearing a bulletproof vest. She closed her eyes as she pulled the trigger. 

His blood splattered across Beatrice’s face, but she quickly pushed his body to the side and stood up. Her nose was clearly broken from the impact, but neither woman dwelled on that. Instead, they continued their journey into the kitchen. Beatrice barely felt the pain, between her rigorous training, adrenaline, and primal desire to keep Ava safe. Ava, however, was running on  _ only  _ adrenaline. Internally, she felt crazed. She’d just  _ killed  _ someone. For Beatrice. Did that make them even? 

Lilith was locked in hand to hand combat with one of the soldiers. They both looked equally roughed up, but she was holding her own against a man twice her size. Beatrice raised her rifle to fire, but they were moving too quickly. It was too dangerous to fire, she might hit Lilith. She stayed locked in that position, though, waiting for an opening. Ava, however, was impatient. She decided to make her own opening.

Not unlike a wild animal, Ava lunged over the table, forcing herself between Lilith and her assailant. It was a stupid strategy, landing Ava a sharp kick in the head, but it separated the two of them for long enough for Beatrice to get a shot off. Lilith reached down and gave Ava a hand.    
“That was stupid.” She whispered, through bloody teeth.

“Yes.” Ava answered, her breaths laboured by pain. 

“That was  _ really  _ fucking stupid.” Beatrice agreed. “Lilith, are you okay?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Camila, do you have eyes on anyone?” Beatrice asked the walkie talkie. “Over.” 

“No. Sorry. Over.” Camila sounded terrified. 

“No!” Mary yelled from the other room, audible to everyone in the house now that the shooting was over. “Shannon!” Ava, Beatrice, and Lilith were there in a moment. Somehow, Camila was there only a few seconds later. In her  _ troubled  _ state of mind, Ava wondered if she had jumped from the top of the barn. 

Shannon laid in Mary’s arms. A massive bloom of red was spreading from her shoulder. She was awake, but with an unmistakable pallor. 

“Mary. It’s okay. Not fatal.” She whispered. “Just a flesh wound.” 

“Ava, Camila. Go grab the first aid kit and some towels.” Beatrice commanded mechanically, before rushing forward. They did as they were told and returned a moment later with the requested supplies. 

As gently as possible, Mary and Lilith lifted Shannon onto the couch. Beatrice got to work at once, cutting off the sleeve of her shirt and trying to stem the bleeding. 

“We don’t have time for everyone to watch. Not all of the men are dead. Find the living ones and bring them in.” Beatrice ordered as she worked. 

“I…” Mary began, more than hesitant to leave Shannon in this state. 

“Mary.” Shannon’s voice was faint, but she grabbed Mary’s hand with a fierce strength. “This is more important. Beatrice can keep me alive. Go.” 

“I love you.” Mary replied quickly, before giving Shannon a quick kiss and exiting the room. Everyone followed, leaving Beatrice and Shannon alone. 

Just as Beatrice said, there were a few soldiers who were still alive. Three, to be precise. One by one, they were dragged into the house. All of them sported wounds, although they weren’t immediately fatal. Of course, this was intentional. 

“Why are we doing this?” Camila asked as they dragged one of the unconscious men towards the farmhouse. 

“Collateral.” Mary answered gruffly, her thoughts still on Shannon. Lilith clarified. 

“If we have some of their best men trapped inside, they’ll be less likely to just drop a bomb on us.” 

“Oh.” Camila squeaked as they worked. Lilith felt her heart contract in guilt, hating how close Camila was to all of this violence. Ava didn’t speak at all, instead content to listen to the racing thoughts that made themselves at home in her mind. The shootout had only lasted a couple of minutes, but had felt more like days. In her attempt to reconcile the violence, Ava tried to find the brightside that Beatrice had talked about earlier. At the very least, this terror would give her something to write about. 

“Why are you smiling?” Camila wondered aloud as they dragged in the last soldier.    
“I’m not sure I can explain that.” Ava told her in a hazy voice. She sounded far away, almost dreamlike. 

“Camila. There’s duct tape in the drawer in the drawer there.” Mary pointed to it once they were back in the kitchen. Camila retrieved it and handed it to Mary. She made quick work of the men, restraining them in a row on the floor. 

Beatrice appeared from around the corner and headed for the sink without a word. She washed Shannon’s blood from her hands before speaking.

“She’s stable. Mary, you can go be with her if you want. We can handle this.” She was robotic. Mary left the room as quickly as Beatrice had entered. 

“What’s the move here?” Lilith spoke to Beatrice. 

“We wait for their phones to ring.” She gestured towards the men. “Headquarters will want a report.” 

“Then what?” Camila asked, feeling out of place.

“We give it to them.” Beatrice sighed, as her icy façade began to melt. “We negotiate for our freedom, or at least for enough time to get the  _ fuck  _ out of here.” 

“God…” Lilith sat down. “I just wanted to build engines. How did we even get messed up in this?” There were tears coating her face, surprising both Beatrice and Camila. 

“Trust me when I say, I understand.” Beatrice whispered as she kneeled next to Lilith, both of them crying. “I hope we’ll get back in the lab one day. No strings attached, this time.” 


	20. A Deal with the Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beatrice negotiates with Adriel.

“Ava?” Beatrice asked with no response. “Ava? Are you okay?” Beatrice repeated her question. 

“Hmm?” Ava sat on the edge of the bed, sequestered from the action for a moment. She seemed unfocused and far away. 

“Hey, look at me.” Beatrice took Ava’s face in her hands with gentle movements. “It’s okay. You’re safe, I’m safe. We’re all okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologising?” 

“I… Because…” Ava was at a loss for words. “If I didn’t ask you about my parents, Shannon wouldn’t have gotten shot - we destroyed her house. I killed someone, we all did, yet we’re still in danger and I-I-” Ava spoke in rushed, disjointed phrases. 

“Shh…” Beatrice pulled her into a hug. “It’s okay.” Ava was tense in her arms. “Or at least, it’s going to be.”

“You can’t promise that.” Ava’s tone was dark.

“I can. I just did.” Beatrice tried to smile, although it felt artificial at best.

“I still don’t see a way out of this that doesn’t end with us dying.” Ava rasped, logical about the consequences of their actions. 

“I have to find one then, because…” It was now Beatrice who found herself without words. “Because I couldn’t stand to lose you.”

“You really think you can get us all out of this?” Ava allowed herself to see the slightest glimmer of hope. 

“I’ll do whatever it takes.”

“Beatr -” Ava was interrupted by a kiss. It was sudden but not surprising. There was an obvious desperation between them, a primal need to illustrate their feelings after several brushes with death. 

“Ahem.” Lilith coughed awkwardly as she appeared in the doorway. Beatrice and Ava broke apart, tears on both their faces. “One of their phones rang, just as you said.” Lilith added, a tactical looking device in her hand.

“And?” Beatrice looked at her best friend, with a mix of fear and anticipation in her eyes. 

“It’s Adriel.” Lilith’s words seemed to poison the air. “He only wants to speak with you.” 

Beatrice stood, regretfully leaving Ava to pick up the device. “Adriel.” She greeted coldly as she walked back out into the living room, followed by Lilith and Ava. 

“It’s nice to talk to you, Beatrice. It’s been a long time.” He replied with unnerving kindness. 

“Still not long enough.” She answered with venom, thinking of her time in training under Adriel’s sadistic methods. 

“Oh, boo.” He laughed and Beatrice felt a chill down her spine. 

“I know you didn’t call just to chat. What do you want? What’s your next move?” Beatrice could feel everyone’s eyes on her as she spoke, it was stifling. 

“Always right down to business, never taking any time for small talk. I wonder, are you like this with your girl?” Adriel’s reference to Ava made Beatrice’s pulse quicken. 

“Cut to the chase, Adriel. I don’t want to play games.” Beatrice was beyond angry.

“Fine, fine.” He inhaled calmly before continuing. “Those were some of my best men that I sent in today. I trained them myself. Years of combat training, weapons skills, anatomy, cybertech; the whole nine yards.” He sounded almost wistful as he recounted this. “Yet, you cut them down in minutes.”

“I had help.” 

Beatrice looked around the room as she told Adriel this. Shannon was now at the kitchen table, her wound stitched, but her shirt completely ruined. Mary hovered over her, worried in a way that Beatrice had never seen before. In the corner, Lilith stood quietly, regarding Beatrice with cool eyes. Her face was already bruising, but otherwise, she looked nearly the same as when they’d met nearly a decade ago. Camila sat near Mary at the table, although mentally she seemed thousands of miles away. 

Finally, Beatrice let her eyes fall on Ava. The wounds that covered her body did little to blunt her wild beauty. Yet, even in that acknowledgement, Beatrice felt guilt. Blood had soaked through her clothes in several places, injuries from a battle that she shouldn’t have been a part of. In her love for Ava, Beatrice only found guilt. As tears stung her eyes, Adriel spoke once more. 

“That you did. Three civilians and two other agency members.” 

“And?” Beatrice knew Adriel was winding up to something, but she hated the drama of it.    
“I’m not an idiot. I know that you planned this. Orchestrated it. All of the top brass in Langley wanted more for you, but respected your wishes enough to let you stay at GPL.” There was the slightest hint of reverence in Adriel’s voice which Beatrice found disconcerting. 

“I remember.” 

“Do you want to make a deal with me, or should I authorise a drone strike?” Adriel’s words were cutting.

“What are your terms?” Beatrice asked quietly, too aware of the reactions around her. 

“What are yours?” He threw the question back at her. Beatrice took a deep breath, before suddenly heading out the front door. There wasn’t enough air to breathe inside the house. Thankfully, no one followed her. In the cold, dark mist of the night, she felt as though she could finally think straight. 

“No drone strikes. No one dies. I don’t want my friends to live as marked men for the rest of their lives. They need to be able to walk away from this with total freedom.” Beatrice began with fire in spirit. 

“What else? I know that’s not it.” Adriel was correct again. 

“I want Mary, Lilith, and I to be absolved from our contracts.” Beatrice added, savouring the prospect of freedom as soon as the words left her mouth. 

“You’re asking for a lot.” 

“I know.” 

“I can do… Most of that. Plus, I’m sending out a clean up crew for the bodies.” Adriel spoke about his dead men the way most people would discuss cleaning their room. “But I’m going to need something in return.”

“Most?” Beatrice echoed, feeling slightly ill.

“Most.” He repeated. “I will  _ personally  _ ensure that your friends remain free, as well as absolving Lilith and Mary from their contracts with the agency.” Adriel paused, his unnerving smile nearly audible. “In return, I want you to come work for me.” 

“That would mean…” Beatrice couldn’t make herself finish the sentence.

“Yes, leaving Washington and everyone there to come work on some of the agency’s classified projects. Such is the price we pay for freedom, although if you ask me, it’s a huge step for your career.” 

Beatrice froze at his words as the world seemed to spin around her. She was convinced she’d either vomit or black out for several seconds. From the now-broken window of the living room, she could see Ava’s face peering out at her, with a huge grin on her face. With absolutely no sense of the gravity of the situation, Ava gave her a thumbs up. Beatrice couldn’t help but return the gesture, her heart undeniably warmer than it had been a moment ago. 

“I’ll do it.” 


	21. Why Did You End it Like That?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now i can focus on my stupid af halloween fic

_ Eleven Months Later: _

Beatrice shut the advance copy of  _ Secret Project X  _ that Ava had gifted her last week. She sighed, her face unreadable. Beside her in bed, Ava’s eyes were wide, waiting for a reaction.

“Why did you end it like that?” Beatrice asked in a small voice, thick with the threat of tears. 

“Oh, Beatrice.” Ava pulled herself closer to Beatrice and snuggled up against her. “Not all stories have a happy ending.”

“None of your books have a happy ending.”

“I like to save those for my real life.” Ava whispered, her head pressed into Beatrice’s chest. 

“Still, it was really good.” Beatrice gently kissed Ava’s forehead before continuing. “During the first few chapters, I thought it was just going to be the story of how we met and became a couple. I’ll admit, that seemed slightly… Beneath you?” 

“As much as I love our story, and you, I don’t think it would have been as interesting to read.” Ava smiled. 

“Agreed.”

“Plus, you’re  _ even cooler  _ in the book!” Ava couldn’t help but laugh.

“Do you not think I’m cool?” Beatrice joked in a gentle voice. 

“I do! You’re still a super genius and badass engineer. But in the book, you’re  _ also  _ a top secret agent.” Ava explained. Beatrice couldn’t help but admire her passion. 

“I thought it was interesting how you blended our actual relationship into the fictional parts of the story. It was weird though, reading about myself.”

“Do you want me to change all the names?” Ava looked up, suddenly awash in concern. “I didn’t think - I mean, I did, I just -” 

“No, Ava. It’s okay.” Beatrice smiled at her, appreciative. “Actually, I think I might send a copy to my parents.” 

“You… What?” Ava’s face turned from concern to confusion. “Why?”

“I thought they might appreciate a story about their daughter falling in love with another woman. An amazing woman.” 

“You’re  _ bad _ .” Ava giggled as she embraced Beatrice even tighter. 

“In some ways, I suppose.” Beatrice couldn’t help but match Ava’s laughter, her levity was infectious. 

“And we’ve stayed up too late since you insisted on finishing the book tonight!” Ava rolled across the bed in feigned exasperation. “This year’s Innovation Conference is tomorrow and we both have to present. Plus, I might meet my future partner there!”

“You never know.” Beatrice chuckled as she turned out the light next to her bed and wrapped an arm around Ava’s waist. 

“Thank you for reading it.” Ava whispered in the dark, content and warm in Beatrice’s arms. 

“Of course I was going to read it. How could I not?” 

“Maybe you wouldn’t want to?” Ava suggested, surprisingly self conscious of her work all of a sudden. 

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Beatrice pulled herself into Ava, until their bodies were a perfect match against one another. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Ava.”


End file.
